Letters From Society's Creation

Letter Nine

March 1st is National Self Harm Awareness Day. To show support you're supposed to wear something orange. I went above and beyond that. I spread the word on every social site that I possibly could. Facebook, Twitter, Wattpad, KIK, Instagram, Tumblr, Wittyprofiles, and many others. I wore orange clothing and brought an orange marker to school with me. I had told some other people about it and they had worn orange as well. I noticed though that people who I hadn't directly told were also wearing orange but are so called "friends" or "followers" on sites that I posted the information on.

I went around my high school looking for people I knew and asked if they wanted to participate. If they said yes I would turn over their wrist and write "Love" on it. Other kids who noticed, asked what I was doing and thought it was a good idea and had me do the same to them. By the end of the day, I hadn't seen one person who didn't have "Love" written on their wrist. I felt so accomplished for once.

Anyway, things have gotten even worse. I'm convinced the world loves to see me upset. I am fifteen year old train wreck. My mother kicked me out yesterday. She told me to go to my aunt's and stay there, which is perfectly fine with me, at least I'm wanted there. I cried for hours and hours about it, though. She was up in my face screaming about how I ruin everything. I thought she was going to hit me but instead she took it out on the wall.

I don't know what I'm doing anymore. It's like the ground is breaking underneath my feet. I try to do the best I can, yet it is never ever good enough. I've decided I'll live, at least for now. I mean I have a few reasons.

1. I have you, my dear friend.

2. I have my two best friend's at school.

3. I have my aunt, uncle, and grandmother.

4. I really like somebody at my school.

At least I'm starting to realize I have people who love and care for me. I'm starting to see my worth and value in this ugly world. Let's just hope it stays this way.

So I guess I'm becoming more open to you. Not that I wasn't before, but I now gave you my age. You now know that I am fifteen years of age. Guess we're becoming sort of great friends now. Wish I knew more about you, love.

I hope you're doing well. I'm doing just fine on my own.

I'll write you either tonight  or tomorrow, but until then, stay safe and know I'm always here.