Smile

4

I pushed myself backward and away from my mother, my eyes were heavy as of they wanted to close once more.

My hearing slowly synced with the sounds of life and the voice of what is to be revealed my yelling mother came flooding in. "What the hell is wrong with you!" She growled, her hands waving around in anger.

"I told you to wake me up! Why can you never listen?" I stood up, holding onto the door handle for support as I felt like half of my body was still asleep. "I'm late now, Celestia. Do you know why I can't be late?"

Those words sounded like a threat coming from her lips. Her bloodshot eyes almost bulging out of her head as she slowly stepped toward me. "What? Are you mute? Answer me."

I blinked at her a couple of times, unsure of what to say but perfectly aware that I had to say something. "You never told me that." Was all I could say and now I'm not sure that that's better than being silent.

Her body stiffened as she processed my words. Her tangled hair that was pulled back into a bun, her wrinkled skin clasping to her body looked strained just like her eyes as she stared at me. Every warning sign in my body was going off even if they were going off slowly.

I decided to listen, grabbing my bookbag from the ground and pulling as hard as I could to open the door in one swift motion before throwing myself through it and onto the gravel. I scurried to my feet as I ignored the calls and threats from my mother behind me.

I didn't feel panicked, I never do, even when I should be, I just felt tired. The walk to work was going to be full of thoughts of nothing and a corner of that nothing being taken up by Kai.

...

"Hello welcome to Cozy Caffeine, what may I get for you today?" Monotone; bland. Nothing exciting in my voice, not even a hint. I'm exhausted. Probably my millionth time using that word to describe how I feel but there's nothing else to say other than that. I'm exhausted. After this morning and the long night I had last night, I think have a good reason to be.

When have I not had a good reason to be?

I shifted my body weight onto my hand that rested on the counter as I awaited an order. I know it's rude to not at least look up at the customer once but I think I'm doing us both a favor. I can feel the bags dragging my eyelids farther down my face and soon, they were gonna close whether I liked it or not.

"Something sweet. Or with chocolate. Please." The soft voice of the man flowed through my ears like warm honey over cold butter. It was soothing and familiar, so soothing that I think my eyes shut for a little too long while he was speaking.

"Ok sir, would you be ok with our new cold chocolate?"

"...yes...please." His spaced out words left holes filled with disappointment as if all of his hope had been crushed under my simple sentence. Maybe he doesn't want a cold chocolate. Yea, it's an odd idea but it's pretty good.

He should've said something if he didn't want it.

I told him his total, shut my eyes for point five seconds while he paid, and brushed his tone off. I turned to receive the summer themed medium sized bamboo cups that were a special order after our manager insisted we become more eco friendly. "Ok sir, can I get a name for your order?"

"Kai."

I've heard that name before.

"Ok Kai-" my eyes widened at the realization. My head shot up to verify my thoughts, my heart beating a little faster at the small uncertainty. My thoughts were confirmed when I looked up and saw my mirrored expression. "I'm sorry—hi...hi!" I let out a nervous chuckle, the heaviness in my eyes lifting away as I stared up at him.

He was smiling at me like he'd seen someone he hadn't seen in years—someone he missed.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to be rude—I'm just tired." My eyes lowered once more as his expression softened as I spoke. I couldn't help but mirror the kind look in his eyes or the soft reassuring smile on his lips. He looked as if he didn't care about my previous behavior, just that I noticed him now.

"It's ok," he spoke softly, his eyes staying on mine. "I would be too...I wanted to say thank you, again, for helping me."

I pushed off of the counter and stood up straight as I tilted my head to the side and stared up at him. "You didn't need to, I offered. How'd you find me anyway?"

A dense look of panic covered his face before he began to smile again, letting out a small laugh as if he was caught doing something child-like. "There's only a few places on the strip that would be open later..." he glanced down at me with a soft and embarrassed look in his eye as if he was afraid to say what was next. "So...you were either a stripper or you worked here."

I stared at him for a moment, my brain processing the emotion that was building inside of me. My heart fluttered as he laughed lightly, the sight of his eyes lighting up and his adams apple bouncing lightly in his throat made me want to follow suit and laugh—even smile.

My heart and lips caved as I smiled up at him, a light an breathy chuckle leaving my throat. "I couldn't be a bartender huh?"

Again, that heavy look of embarrassment.

"I didn't...think of that." He uttered lowly, his head tilting down and revealing the zig zag shaped headband that held his hair back. Such a small and insignificant thing made me understand his character better. "I'm sorry. That was offensive."

The corners of my lips turned down as I shook my head slightly. "No, it's ok. You obviously didn't think I was a stripper if you came here. Besides, it's almost a compliment."

He nodded as his eyes let go of the embarrassment. He even stood up a little straighter but maybe that was a sign he was more comfortable.

"Hey, I'll talk to you...in a second. Just let me serve the rest of these customers, ok?" I tried to put on a friendlier expression in an attempt to not hurt his feelings or make him feel as if I was no longer interested in our conversation.

"Ok. I'll wait." He said simply, his smile never leaving his face as he stepped aside, letting the next customer up.

Im not sure why, but I'm not so tired anymore.