A Starting Point

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO- THERE IS NO "WE"

Heloyse

I was leaning against my bedroom window looking out at the day. Sunlight warmed my face as I stood with my eyes closed, welcoming the day. And despite all the sadness, I recognized the beauty of that morning.
I was doing so well. He no longer grieved for Michael and was now grieving for a stranger. By someone who made it clear that I was nothing more than an attraction.
I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. I could smell Will on me.
I let out a long sigh and ran my tongue over my lips imagining it was his lips caressing me.
After my wash, I made myself a cup of coffee and ate a slice of blueberry pie.
I was still in my night clothes, so I went back to bed. I wasn't sleepy anymore, but after what happened, I didn't even know where to start my day.
Lying on the bed, I laced my fingers over my stomach and stared at the ceiling. I got up and made a decision: I needed to make it clear that I would not allow him to get close to me again.
I opened the closet and pulled out a dress Megan had given me from among the clothes. It was flowery with pretty sunflowers patterned on the fabric. It left my shoulders bare and went right down to my waist, then opened to my hips.
I put on my boots that were already coming to life from wearing them so much. I let my hair down, contoured my eyes with a pencil and mascara, then added a nude lipstick to my lips.
"Great! Very good", I thought.
I left the house and went to open the gate. I got into the truck and drove off.
I glanced over at Will's farm pasture. I had hoped to see him herding the cattle, but he wasn't.
I would make it clear that what happened the night before would not happen again. I wouldn't go around hurting an idiot like him. But, I also wanted to see him and it was killing me inside. I had washed my pillow with tears the night before.
Arriving at the entrance to the farm, the gate was open and Calvin, preparing to enter with his horse. When he spotted me, he nodded and smiled. Then he gestured for me to enter. I got in and drove to the front of the house, turned the truck off, and got out.
- Good morning, Miss!
“Good morning, Calvin, and call me Lisy. Will is there?
“Well, it's about seven o'clock now. At that time, he's usually in the stable.
"Ah... And where is the stable?"
“Just follow that way, miss.
When he realized he had called me Miss again, he smiled.
“I can't help it,” he said.
“Okay,” I smile. "And thanks for the information!"
skyI had already commented that Will's farm was huge. I never pictured myself living on a farm, and when I found myself here in Clearwater, I couldn't imagine myself in the concrete jungle again. The quiet here was valuable.
After walking for a while, I saw the stable. It was huge and above it, the name "O'Connor" was displayed at the entrance.
I entered the stable and was delighted with the horses that Will was tending. They were of brown fur, others, black. I went further inside, intending to look at them closely. One of Will's horses made a noise as it moved, and I jumped.
"Animals making noises and scaring me are already becoming a habit", I thought.
I approached and ran my hand over the animal's head, with dark fur like a dark night. The animal was very docile.
- Hey buddy! What's your name, huh?
I noticed that there was a sign at the entrance to the bay, with the name "Diamante".
Yes, he was a beautiful black diamond.
“You are beautiful, Diamond. Just like its owner.
After a few seconds, I walked to the other stable door. And then, outside was the most fascinating thing I could see. It was Will training a brown horse with white feet. The mane and tail had long golden hairs. They were on a large stud farm surrounded by a huge fence. Will held the horse's reins, causing him to run in circles.
I leaned against the stable door and watched.
Will was shirtless, pale jeans torn at one knee and boots. His hair was free and fell in his face with every step he took. His tanned skin glistened with sweat.
"Warm."
I could see him smiling and stroking the horse. At another moment, I saw him talking to him. Will leaned his forehead against the horse's and whispered. There was a moment when he stopped and looked up toward the stable. When he saw me, I felt a magnetism that pulled me towards him.
He watched in silence for a few seconds and returned his attention to what he was doing.
Will kept running with the horse and after a while, he stopped and mounted it. I walked over to the fence and climbed in, adjusting my dress so I could sit down.
He made the horse run in circles. At other times, he would make the horse jump.
I watched patiently for nearly forty minutes.
Sometimes Will would look at me.
When he finished training, he got off the horse and grabbed the reins, making the horse walk with him. He opened the stud gate and got out, closing it once he and the horse were out.
He stopped as I approached him.
— Your horse is beautiful. In fact, everyone is! I put my hands behind my body and gave her a shy smile.
Will looked down at my dress and down to my legs. I ducked my head trying to hide my discomfort.
- Why are you here?
I remained silent, because even if I wanted to, the voice wouldn't come out. I felt like such an idiot around him.
He didn't wait for me to answer and walked into the stable. He opened the door and led the horse inside. Then he unsaddled the animal and left.
He closed the door and put away his riding gear. He grabbed the T-shirt that was hanging on the wall, pulling it on, then turned his attention to me.
- And then? What are you doing here? he asked crossing his arms.
"I came to see you... I mean... talk to you."
- About what?
- About Us.
— There is no "we", Heloyse.
It was like a slap had hit my face.
“Still, I came to talk.
— I said I hate anyone who gets in the way of my work. By the way, you are doing well in this task.
"And I said let's talk." Can not...
Will gave a cynical smile and then left. The idiot left me talking to myself.
I walked as fast as I could and grabbed his arm.
- Wait! I'm not leaving without talking first.
"Okay, talk!"
Will started walking again as I tried to catch up.
"Can we talk somewhere?"
- I am going to have a coffee. You can follow me if you want.
“I'm not going anywhere with you.
“Then feel free to talk to my horses.
I put my hands on my hips and watched him walk away.
Oh yes, I hated him!
I ran to catch up and followed him into the main house, silent.
Arriving in the living room, Will asked Eva to serve him and as much as I insisted that I didn't want to eat, Will didn't seem to hear me and I ended up accepting a glass of juice.
After a few minutes he was serving me.
I still thought he was bipolar.
"Do you always get what you want?"
“Most of the time, yes. And then?
"A piece of pie is fine," I said, rolling my eyes.
He cut off a piece and placed it on my plate.
We looked like just friends or a couple enjoying breakfast, enjoying each other's company. But Will was a man with a sour face, a hard posture and a gruff gesture. Everything so clear in his way of acting. He was a man of few words, but with an intense gaze. I felt totally uncomfortable and at the same time intriguing to be around him.
- Your house is very beautiful.
He took a sip of his coffee and shifted his gaze to the door leading outside.
"Whoever built it had good taste," I said, trying to break the silence.
"Do you really want to talk about my house?" Why can't you get straight to the point?
"My God, and you can't have a normal conversation?" - I said depositing my glass of juice on the table. "Did you at least do that?" Have you ever had a normal conversation with a woman? Have you ever managed to be in someone's company without trying to embarrass them?
"Have you managed to stop being curious yet?" He wanted to know my name, if I was a servant, who built my house, if I can talk to a woman, why I went to the Whites' party, why I don't chase after Patsy like everyone else... You're annoying! But, I'll let you talk about what's making you so uneasy. Although, I wonder what it is. This "us" talk must be the cause. As I said, there is no "us". Don't fantasize about it.
"Not fantasize?" I don't fantasize about anything between us.
“You pretend very badly. I bet you thought that just because I kissed you that I had some interest in you. Thought that with her extremely unfunny conversation, I would hear her feelings about how much I messed with you and that it wasn't right. I already said it's just attraction. That, I can feel for any beautiful woman.
I got up and walked over to where he was sitting.
He would hear me.
When I saw him smile as he lifted the coffee cup to his lips, I lost control. I took the jug of juice that was in the center of the table and with all the anger, I threw all the liquid in the jug in his face and ran away.
Before reaching the truck, Wil was already so close that in seconds, he had me. When I felt my back hit the bodywork of the truck, I screamed, but not from pain but from fright.
Will had his hands on my wrist and as much as I tried to break free, it was useless.
"Let go of me, you bastard son of a...
"Don't you dare finish your sentence." I will not allow you to offend me.
"And I won't allow you to treat me like a slut," I yelled. “You called me a whore at that fucking party and now you're implying I'm throwing myself at you. You are a hypocrite. You offended me first, you bipolar bastard.
“If I'm such a wretched, bastard son of a bitch, then it's only natural for me to behave like this. My attitudes then, are according to what I am - she said raising her voice.
“I came to tell you that yesterday was the last time you kissed me, because I'm not in the mood to be your one-night stand. I'm not like the women who throw themselves on you, much less will I allow you to see me as such. And now, you idiot, let go of me before you hurt me—but, my attempt to pull back on my wrists was in vain.
“I can hurt you a lot more. You can't imagine how much, Heloyse.
Will had a husky, shivering voice, and in that moment, his low, whisper-like tone sent fear rushing through me.
"Let the girl go, Will!"
Calvin was behind him with his hand resting gingerly on his shoulder. His voice was feigned calm.
I sighed in relief knowing he was there.
“What are you afraid of, Calvin? Afraid to prove I'm a goddamn reflection of him?
- You are not! But you don't know and you're scaring her. I know you want to push her away from you, but you might do something you'll regret bitterly. Don't show her something you're not.
Will kept looking into my eyes and after a few seconds, he released me.
Slowly he turned his back on me and stopped. I couldn't see their expressions because Will was too tall and blocked my view of Calvin.
“I could hurt you with or without you holding me, and in more ways than one.
“It could, however, that wouldn't be you.
“The years have passed and you still see something good. For the last time, don't put your trust in me.
“I can't help it. You are important to me, son.
“I'm not your son, Mister Mitchell.
Then he left without looking back, leaving a sad look on the face of the gentleman who had just helped me.