How to save a life (a Loki fanfic)

Chpt. 8 Between the Lines of Fear and Blame

"Thor,...Please." Loki sighed "i ...need you, Thor, I can't do this anymore, I have to- ......Brother...I need to see you, and talk to you,....I need to know you don't hate me." Loki leaned back on his heels, he was opposed to what he was doing, but he felt he had no other choice. He stood up, completing his prayer. And left his room, heading towards the kitchen. "mornin sleepin' beauty." Tony teased, and tossed him an apple. Loki set it down. "I stayed up late last night." Loki lied not willing to admit to anyone what he was really doing. Tony smirked "up late with Natasha huh?" Loki burst out laughing "you, haha, are so far from the truth, hahaha, you can't even comprehend it." Tony looked confused "...but,....I thought you two were like,... you know?" Loki tried, and failed to suppress his laughter. "...you are clueless Stark." Tony's face contorted "wait,... you're not like,.... um,.... you know-" "what, no, i just,... no, I don't like Nat though, and she doesn't like me, we're just friends." Tony sighed and they both laughed uncomfortably. "so, anyway." Loki said " What's going on between you and Pepper?" Tony half smiled "eh, she's busy...She's over in England right now." Loki nodded, not quite knowing what to say back to that. "what about you?" Tony asked taking a sip of his coffee. "what do you mean?" Loki shifted uncomfortably knowing exactly what he meant. "do you have a girl, or a 'crush' " Loki's first reaction was to lie, "no, I never really cared about any of that ." "oh, what about now?" Loki shrugged "I don't know,...". He sat on the couch, and turned on the T.V. Tony nodded and said something about going to go work on something in his lab.

He watched mindlessly for a few hours, before sighing and standing up, he walked to the bathroom and turned on the water. He could always think better in the shower. He undressed, and grimaced seeing how skinny he had gotten. In addition to his insomnia he would hardly eat anything in a day, it's not like he was trying to lose weight, if anything, he felt he needed to gain weight, he just wasn't hungary. He felt the water making sure it was warm before stepping in.

He stood under the water, keeping his eyes closed. I am never going home. He thought to himself, I am never going to see Lillian again,....I am never going to see Thor again, or my books,.......and I am never going to be able to do magic again, that was who I am,....I've lost my identity. He sighed as silent tears streamed down his face. He turned off the water and stepped out wrapping a towel around his waist. He wiped off a spot in the mirror, and stared at his face. A glimmer of his helmet appeared around his head, but faded just as quickly as it came. Loki's eyes widened, and he took a step back. Did I just do that? He stepped forward again, this time focusing on where the helmet had been. His helmet appeared again, he could feel it on his head, then it disappeared. He ran to his room, pulled on some clothes and ran down to Natasha's room, banging on the door. She opened it "what?!" She asked clearly annoyed. "Natasha,... I-I think I just used magic." She let him past into her room. "what?" "I was looking at myself in the bathroom mirror and for a split second my helmet appeared on my head, I tried it again and it came back, for longer that time."

She looked at him quizzically, before taking his hand and dragging him to a mirror. "try again." He looked at himself and his helmet appeared, along with the rest of his armor, and his scepter. He stood there, staring at himself. "m-maybe, Odin changed his mind?" Loki said trying to work it out. "I think he wants you to fight." Loki looked at her "what?" "I just got a call, the avengers are supposed to report to S.H.I.E.L.D, they said there's an alien threat..." Loki looked at himself again. This could be my chance to redeem myself. "...okay."