Louis was lying on the bed, tears streaming down his cheeks. A hand clammed over his mouth to drown out the sounds he would make. His eyes drowned with tears when he saw his father standing there. He must have looked so pathetic. But it was all to much. He couldn't hold it in much longer, he buried the tears too deep down.
They were let lose for the first time since he can remember. He could see his father walking to him through his blurred vision. Mark crouched down in front of him. A hand touched Louis his shoulder. He didn't have the energy to fight against it. ''Oh Lou..'' He muttered.
Louis closed his eyes, shit them tight. He hoped that he would be somewhere completely else. He hoped that when he opened them he would be that 7 year old kid again that was getting picked from school by his mother. So he could rent about what he experienced to her. But of course luck was never on his side. He still saw his father face downwards when he opened his eyes.
''Daddy..'' Louis whimpered. Feeling pathetic for the way he just called his father.
Mark his face casted upwards, looking eyes with his son. They looked dull. But what was more concerning was the way Louis just called him. A nickname he stopped using when he turned 10, claiming that he was getting to big for it to use it. Mark his heart broke right there. He pushed it a side for his son. He needed him more right now.
Seeing Louis like this made Mark realize about how much he missed from his life. He was often at work, even when Jay was still around. He wished that he planned in just a few more breaks days in between. He practically missed him growing up. And now louis could only relay on one parent. One parent that wasn't there for so many things in his life.
Louis wasn't a 19 year old in this moment. He was that 16 year old boy who's world just completely shifted, turned upside down. Mark shifted and was no longer crouched beside him but got up on he bed. Louis almost automatically dived into his arms.
Mark his arms wrapped around his thin form. Trying to shush him. ''Its okay Lou..'' He whispered into his hair that was a mess right now.
Louis his hands were gripping the shirt of his father, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't want to be faced with the reality. He felt weak, crying in the arms of his father. It was the feeling weak part that he hated the most. He always acted cold hearted and angry, but he was in reality such a sweet boy. A boy who wants nothing more then some love. Some love so he can live.
''It's alright... sshh. Your okay..''
Louis shaking his head no, because no nothing was going to be alright or okay. ''You know Lou, your mother was always way better at shushing you when you were just a little baby. Not more then a few months old. You were a fuzzy baby but she always took perfect care of it. I am trying Lou, but I am not her and I will never be..'' Mark said slowly. Looking down at his son who's cries stilled a bit, hiccupping.
''She should be here..'' Louis croaked, his voice raw and scratchy. He sniffled, rubbing his eyes with the sleeves of his hoody with on hand. The other still clutching to Mark his shirt. ''I know.. she didn't deserve it one bit. She was my first girlfriend and wife or that matter, still so much love for her.'' Mark sighed. ''Then why are we here, if you still love her so much?'' Louis asked his father, his eyes locked on his fathers. They were the same matching blue. Louis was curious in what the answer would be.
''Because Louis.. I will never ever fully be able to let her go. She lives on in our memories forever. Remember what she said to us when the time came....?''
''Yeah..'' Louis looked down. He remembered the speech all too well that she both gave them. He was pretty sure that he was crying through the whole talk back then. Mark watched his son with hurting eyes. He felt for the boy, he really did. ''What happened.. I mean with your hand and all.. ?'' Mark asked.
Louis looked down at his bandaged hand. ''Dunno, don't remember it very clearly. But I was angry, me and Anne had a argument. Punched the wall on purpose multiple times.''
Mark nodded back at him. Trying to find the right words to say. Louis beat him to it though.. ''Dad..?'' He asked. ''Yeah?'' ''I think I need help..'' Louis muttered.
Mark looked shocked at his son, he was in disbelief. Louis never really asked for help. He would always figure things out on his own. ''We can do that Lou.. We can do that..'' Mark said back, rubbing a hand on his Louis' back.
''The angered hatred in me doesn't stop. The smoking doesn't stop... I need it to stop..'' Louis said, his voice breaking. ''You don't have to tell me. It will be okay. We will find a way yeah. Remember what buzz lightyear aways said?''
Louis chuckled, ''To infinity and beyond.''
''Very well. I'll go to infinity and beyond to help you okay. I am here. I know that I wasn't the best dad when you were younger. But I am here to stay now. Us against the world yeah?''
''Yeah..'' Louis croaked, locking his pinkie with his father. That was now a promise that is meant to be kept.
ВИ ЧИТАЄТЕ
Searching for a home L.S
Фанфіки[ Nineteen year old Louis is grieving over the passing of his mother. She passed away almost three years ago. His father meets someone new. He even want to move in with her and her eighteen year old son and sell the house they live in. Where he grew...
