Fatal Attraction.

21

Zoya's POV.

I felt kinda used.
Apparently Malik and the other bartenders were sleeping around with the customers for money.
It reminded me of when I'd book a hotel room for weeks just so I didn't have to bother about when to see him.
Everything was charged on my card, I thought I was the one using him but as it turns out it's the other way round.

He took women to the hotel room I booked, pretended it was his and made purchases knowing fully well it'll be deducted from my account, I fell for another man's trap.

Somehow this bothers me way more than it should. Makes sense why he didn't want the child even though it's to my advantage.
I rub my bump, it doesn't matter now.

My bedroom door opens and Nasir walks in with a frown on his face.
I couldn't help but worry, he's not one to show emotion especially not infront of me.

"What's going on?" I ask walking over.
"I'm so sorry babe"

Now that scared me witless. He never ever apologizes so I wonder what he did.
"Why? What's going on? What did you do?"

He huffs "I wanted to make things right—I know this must be a tough time for you especially being pregnant and all"
I nod smiling "You don't need to worry about me. The baby and I are perfectly okay"

He smiles "Thank God"
"What got you worried?"

He sits on the bed "I heard your lover was fired" he smiles "So you hired a fille de joie?"
"What?" I ask my heart beating so fast it felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.

"A prostitute. Was that really the best you could do?"
I cover my mouth "Did you do it? Did you snitch"

He scoffs "Come on. That's beneath me even though my wife was one of the many women they gave pleasure to" he takes in a deep breath "Well—don't mind me, I just had to come tell you how bad I felt that my rebound turned out to be a call boy, I really thought you'd surprise me but somehow you've found a way to show you'll continue to disappoint me"
He gives me a peck on my cheek and rests his hand on my bump "I can't wait for this little guy to pop out, that's when things get interesting" he walks out.

I thought every thing was okay between us.
Just when things seem fine, he does things that make me think otherwise, what's his game?

::

I called Ruqayyah, Nasir travelled and I need to go shopping, buy more baby clothes. Thankfully today is market day for her, she goes to the market to buy groceries.

"This is the store I visited a lot, they have everything you're looking for" she says excitedly walking ahead pushing Fareed's stroller.
"Thanks for coming along with me, it means a lot"

She smiles.
I could tell something was up, she's keeping something from me but I didn't bother asking, it's probably something personal and I have enough drama going on in my life already.

"Shouldn't you be doing this with Nasir?"
I smile "Yeah, he's been really busy with work. Did you do them with Ya Rashad?"

She nods "Yeah, he insisted on coming along on everything regarding the baby"
I nod "Let's do what we came here for"

"Welcome" the sales girl says "Is that the baby?" She asks excitedly peeping at Fareed in his stroller.
"Yes, this time he brought his niece/nephew to buy her things"

She smiles "Well—we have everything. Do you know the gender of the baby?" She asks me. Ruqayyah turns to me waiting for an answer. I've been begging Nasir to come along so we'll find out together but he keeps rescheduling.

"No" I say with a frown.
"That's fine, we can get the crib and anything else that doesn't involve the gender" Ruqayyah tells her.

"Madam, we also have things for your baby. If you want to"
She looks at me guiltily "Nene you're trying to tempt me, I always end up spending more than I should"

"Yes Ma but if you think about it, it's never useless. He'll have siblings to pass down to"
"You make a point, why don't you focus on Zoya, just point me to the right direction"

"Yes Ma".

::

Ruqayyah's POV.

Something has been bothering me a lot lately and it's not Zoya and Nasir. I've decided to peacefully exclude myself in any complications that might be going on with them.

Actually this time it's about my ex.
After so much pondering and people talking about it I've come to realize that it's just not normal.

It's not normal that each time this guy is mentioned I feel sad, I feel heartbroken and yet I cannot remember a thing about him.

Is that even possible?
You can never forget someone who broke your heart, no matter how hard you try but let's say it's possible, it still doesn't make sense that I cannot remember his name.

A guy I dated for 6years.
My first boyfriend.
My first love.

Thinking about it, how did he dump me?
How did we meet?
How long was I apart from him before I met Rashad?
Why is it that no one in my family or my close friends ever talk about him? Or never discuss the issue even when I bring it up.

Correct me if I'm wrong but when you're madly inlove with someone and they break your heart, you sulk for hours, days, weeks, months maybe even years but once you find someone you care about, get married and even have a child then what ever happened with that person is history, it becomes a story you laugh about, remembering how you let someone so insignificant hold power over you.

My siblings should be teasing me over it, my parents so be giving me lessons over it, my friends should be making jokes about it but all of them pretend like it's nothing, like it never happened.

I can't just forget someone who meant so much to me for so long, it's anomalous.
They might keep pretending but I can't.

I keep feeling like a part of my life is missing.
I keep feeling like I shouldn't be this happy.
It's not that I don't want to let the past be but something feels so wrong.

Do you know that feeling when something is at the top of your head but you can't remember it? Whether it's a name or whatever, you just can't seem to remember it even when you can feel your brain grasping at it?

That's how I feel.
Before when Rashad behaved differently towards me I thought maybe that's why I feel this way. If he loved me and married me I wouldn't feel this way. Then we got married and I still felt the same then I thought if he loved me as his wife then this feeling might just disappear. But nothing changed, then I thought maybe because I'm still unsure about his feelings but after my conversation with Zarah, when she mentioned my ex it clicked, a portion of my life is missing and my brain doesn't want to accept it.

So I'll figure it out.
For my peace of mind.
I have a husband who loves me, a child I adore, parents I can count on, siblings I love and even the sweetest In-laws and yet I can't seem to be completely happy and it makes me feel so ungrateful—I will make things right.

I have to do what I can to be happy.

::