𝑳𝑨 𝑭𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑬 𝑨𝑼𝑿 𝑭𝑳𝑬𝑼𝑹𝑺

୭̥⋆*｡✽ 𝐱𝐱𝐱𝐢𝐱.

I wait as she locks the door and let her guide me through the busy street of the city. The air is even cooler than earlier, and I unconsciously wrap my arms tighter around Lita's for some extra warmth. We walk around in silence for a bit, just enjoying whatever this is.

I can also feel the nervousness radiating off of her. We're both nervous, amazing. I'm pretty sure I know where this conversation is gonna go, but what if I'm wrong?! What if she changed her mind?

I need to stop overthinking.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize we arrived at Lita's apartment building. I only notice when she opens the door and pushes me in. She takes off her shoes and leaves them by the door, I follow doing the same. Before I could even turn around, she disappeared somewhere. Great, what should I do now?

I walk further into the apartment, and settle on making tea for the both of us while Lita drops off her stuff. At least, it'll keep my mind busy.

The entire apartment was silent, the only sound coming from the kettle and boiling water. You could cut the tension with a knife. I can't wait to get this over and done with, so we can go back to normal, because this just sucks.

When I'm done, I walk out the kitchen to see Lita on her couch, curled up and her chin resting on her knees. I set the two cups of Yorkshire tea on the dinner table hoping that she wouldn't mind I didn't ask her if she even wanted any. She grabs her mug and blows on it slightly before taking a sip. I don't know why, but I don't dare to move. She hums at the taste before leaning down to put the cup back on the coffee table.

"So... Should I start or do you wan-" I begin only to be cut off by Lita practically begin me to start. "Hmm okay sure... One of us has to start." I take a deep breath...

Here we go.

"I have been lying to myself for quite a while now. I was so focused on everything else that I didn't even take the time to think about all these feelings. I'm so dumb, it was so obvious, and I was so blind!" I start. Time to get all of these feelings out there.

"What are you saying?"

"Listen, you know my job is demanding, and comes with a lot of cons. And Rose will always be my number one priority. But–"

"Oh."

"No wait that sounded bad..." I wanna take it all back and rephrase it. I can be so stupid sometimes. No, no, no...

"No, I get it. I'm just not really worth it am I? I mean, what is the press going to say when they found out?! Surely that would be good for no one, especially you. I understand that you might not want to deal with the rumours and shit. And I also understand that you might not be seen with me. I'm sure that could affect your career negatively. What will people think? Your fans and everybody else? Oh and Rose... Of course she's your number one priority and I understand that you don't want to hurt her. I mean, you're an incredible mother, I'm sure you want something and someone more stable for her than me. And I understand that with your crazy job and busy filming schedule you probably don't want to add too much to your plate with a long distance relationship. It's not like I'll be able to pack my bags and follow you everywhere across the globe. I still have my shop to take care off. I understand if you you wanna save yourself from all the headache this could cause... I knew you didn't want me! I ruined everything!"

"Lita." I try to call her, but she keeps on rambling, pacing around. I stand up to try to stop her, but she pushes past me. She now moved on to rambling in French, and I've never been more confused. I have no clue what's going on.

"Lita, darling, I need to calm down and sit down with me! Come sit with me." I successfully manage to stop her, my hands tightly grabbing her shoulders and guiding her to the couch. I push her down and sit next to her. I bring her into my arms to call her down the same way I do with Rose... don't tell her that maybe.

"This isn't what I meant my lovely... Not even close. I guess I started off wrong, but Lita I do want this! I want you! I want all the headache if that means I get to be with you." I say softly.

"You know the first thing I do when I wake up is check my phone, either to text you or to see if you texted me. And when you do eventually text me, I drop everything and smile, suddenly in a better mood. You make me smile and laugh like nobody else did before, and you're just comfortable to be around. I dress nicer when I see you, I put a little bit more effort than I do with anyone else. I get butterflies before I see you, the adrenaline rushes I get every time I push the door and hear the bell of the shop... I've never cared about flowers before I met you, and now all I want to do is learn more about them, so I can discuss it with you. The nicknames you have for me are my favourite thing, whether it's Scarly, Ingrid or mon ange, my heart skips a beat every time you call me by these special names. I guess what I'm trying to say is that none of this is gonna be easy, but we can figure it out as we go! I want to give this a shot, to give us a chance. We haven't known each other for long, but I simply can't ignore our connection. I want to explore it, and I want to be there for you. You're so worth it, and I just can't imagine throwing all of this away!" I ramble on and on but when I stop I'm met with silent. I know I fucked up, but surely I didn't fuck it up that bad, right?!

I look down at the brunette, her eyes aren't focused it's like she's not there. I try to gain her attention but nothing. I play with her hair, talk to her, but only when I simply tap her shoulder she comes back to me.

"Lita?? Did you hear me??"

AUTHOR'S NOTE
i'm baaaaaack :))
small chapter dw there's more coming next week though, writing as been kinda tough lately
but you can all thank imfinekxx who's been a great help!!
have a great day/afternoon/evening or night
alexis :)