Blade of Lust (Yandere x Reader)

Unspoken Past

A strong scent flooded through your nose and you seemed to be thrown through a tunnel, propelling yourself back to consciousness.

You shot upright with your eyes wide as your chest rose and fell heavily. The smell of jasmine invaded your nose and the room was flooded with the evening rays of the sun. After a few moments, you realized you were in your bed and whipped your head around to see who had put you there.

Sitting on the couch, one that had been turned to face your bed, sat Jacira looking at you in worry. You locked eyes with her for a few moments, tensing your muscles and waiting for her move.

"Is your head alright?" She asked, her voice cutting through the silence of the room. "Jasmine is very good at bringing people back to consciousness but it can sometimes cause more sensitive people to gain headaches."

Your brain fought to register the words she was saying, "What are you doing here?"

She pressed her lips together, "That wasn't the question I asked but I'll let it slide." She stood up from the couch and came over to the side of your bed pressing her hand against your forehead. "No fever. Thats a good sign."

You flinched at her touch and stared at her wearily. The moments leading up to your unconsciousness were starting to come back to you in pieces and your cheeks heated in embarrassment.

"As for your question," Jacira continued, not showing she noticed your mood change, "I came to visit you and you were screaming on the floor. The moment I came over to see if you were ok you fainted in my arms." She looked down at you in a mixture of worry and pity.

Anger at the pity flared through you but you let it die out. She had helped you after all and it would be incredibly ungrateful from a court standard for you to lash out at her. "I'm very sorry to have troubled you."

"Nonsense. I was quite worried actually. I noticed the shattered vase and thought perhaps something had angered you, but from the tears streaming down your face and the screams, it seemed to be like you were hurt by something Esira. A mental breakdown of sorts if you will." Jacira's eyes analyzed you for any indication of what it was that was bothering you.

"Ah..." You said as you looked down at the duvet. "I suppose that is what happened."

There were a few beats of silence that passed between the two of you. You, unwilling to reveal what was wrong, and what you presumed was the courtesy to not ask from Jacira.

"Thank you, for coming to help me." You finally answered, "My mind has not been with me completely lately, but please do not tell anyone."

Jacira rested her hand upon yours and it took all of your effort to not pull yours away. "Esira, I am not a stranger to the work of a mercenary. You have undoubtedly seen horrific things, done equally horrific things, and witnessed parts of life that nobles couldn't begin to comprehend."

You pressed your lips together and looked at her. If only she truly knew. Despite the fact that the words were not meant to apply to you in the way she was speaking, you still found some comfort in it. She was sympathizing with what you had gone through, and no one had ever done that.

"Yes. Sometimes it's just hard to remember who I am." You muttered as you looked down at the palm of your free hand. You were just short of imagining all of the blood that had been on them. How many lives you'd taken.

It didn't quite make sense to you. You hadn't felt a shred of guilt ever, and you still didn't regret killing the people you had, but there was a sense of unnerving in just how much blood you had spilled.

"The beautiful thing about the world is you get to decide who you are." She spoke softly and sat on the bed at last. "No single person or act truly defines you. There is always room for growth and change."