Blade of Lust (Yandere x Reader)

Foreign Feelings

You were doing some not so sneaky spying around the corridor of your room as well as the others in your hall. Nothing had been in them save for some furniture covered with sheets to prevent dust.

Ever since Iliyas had cleared you from your room, you had been piecing together a plan on how to get a more reliable mental map of your area. After a quick nap and a snack of fruits that had been left on your table, you were out and about in the hallway, curious to see what was around you.

If you were alone and exploring, that also meant you didn't have to feign being docile around anyone.

Iliyas and Kaiyan were fools to think you had so easily acclimated to this setting. To be contained in the palace is one thing, to willingly listen and do everything for them was insane. Especially since it had only been a few days.

I'll keep the act up for now. I see no reason to not be here.

After the fourth door that led to another unoccupied room, you were starting to get fed up. If Iliyas had truly placed you in an uninhabited part of the palace, then why did you have to hide out in your room? Sure there was the possibility of running into the diplomat but if you just kept to the servants corridors you didn't see an issue.

You made a mental note to ask him about it later and turned on your heel to return back to your room. As you approached the door, you paused for a moment as you looked down the hallway towards the main part of the palace.

It wouldn't hurt to wander would it?

Instead of opening the door, you carried on down the hallway with your hands clasped behind your back. You willed your face into innocent curiosity as you entered the busier part of the palace. It seemed more staff were out and about but that didn't particularly shock you. If a diplomat was in the castle and the court would be back soon, preparations had to be underway.

You wandered past the kitchen and past the door to the training yard and found yourself in well-decorated halls with floor to ceiling windows. Some of the doors were open showing staff cleaning and dusting beautiful ornate rooms.

This must be where most of the court lives.

As you turned a corner you saw the entrance to the gardens and confirmed your suspicions. More staff was outside trimming hedges and tending to bushes filled with colorful flowers. It was a beautiful garden but you felt nauseous by the sheer beauty of it. No one in the slums or the city would experience these sights or have these rooms.

The people you had seen begging on the street wouldn't stand in this hallway. The people starving in the alleys wouldn't smell the flowers on the breeze or be able to walk the perfectly manicured paths into the hedges. They wouldn't see Iliyas face up close, taste the food of the palace, or wake up with a warm bath.

A sickening feeling rose in the back of your throat and you looked down at your black shoes on the polished marble floor. What were you doing here?

Your feet started carrying you somewhere that you weren't quite sure of. You felt like an imposter in your own body.

Why have I allowed myself to sit here and soak up luxury. Even if The Order has discarded me, I'm not a lost puppy. 

I can think for myself. 

I can exist on my own. 

I hate the monarchy. 

Why have I stayed here?

Your footsteps matched the beating of your heart as you ran from the corridor and past the kitchen. Running past the door to your room, your feet carried you to another you'd investigated earlier. You pushed through the door and your eyes landed on the glass door to a balcony. It had been the only one in this hall with an outdoor seating area. You threw the glass doors open, letting the midday breeze hit your skin as you passed through the threshold.