Use me | chansung

🐍final countdown🐍

2 years later.

Jisung's pov.

Hi, it's been a while, I've changed a lot since then. I was "found" by the police 2 years ago exactly and interrogated. I pretended to be too traumatized to remember anything.

Minho really helped me get back on track and back into school, we started to spend more and more time with Hyunjin as well. I got to see the two grow close and eventually get together.

What about me you might ask?

I've been doing good, I'm actually going to therapy now.

"You've gone very far since you first arrived in my office jisung...could you go around all we've discussed together?" She says calmly and I nod.

"You told me to look into myself more and why I needed sex everyday....i found out why. I blocked some memories...bad ones I wanted to forget. When I was around eleven I was molested by a teacher...I was ashamed and felt sick to my stomach, but I started to need it everyday, because it was the only thing that made me feel wanted by others. It went down hill ever since"

"And this abduction you rarely talk about, what changed the way you viewed sex?"

"I saw that I didn't need it has much as I thought...sometimes all I need was a hug to fil that void or even a certain look."

"You've mentioned your captor to me before, you said he helped you"

"Because he did...he was kind to me, it did not even feel like I was a prisoner, I was just..."

"Living?" She says.

"Yes, living. I am here today because I grew from that experience, because it changed me in ways I have never even thought of being"

"Would you say that being alone those two weeks is what changed you...?"

"No, quite the opposite. I'd say that being with someone so new and different opened my horizons..."

"You sound thankful"

"Because I am. For all he gave me"

<3

I am still as stubborn as before, that did not change. Now I have my own apartment in this city, it's comfortable and in a safe area. I've stopped the drugs for the most part and only drink when I'm with friends, because I have those now.

It's great. All of it really.

But I don't think he's coming back. You start to forget after a while...what they look like, what their lips feel like, how soft their skin is. You forget.

I tried to remember but it was hard to.

As I do every day, I go back to my house and throw my bag on the couch, making myself some food before crashing on the couch.

Tonight is different, I get up lazily and go outside. It's finally getting warmer and so I'm enjoying it the most I can.

I walk along streets I know, some I know less and the one street that brought me here in the first place.

I stop in front of that alley way and watch the dark abyss I once found so luring. I stare into it, like I wait for someone to come out.

But no one does.

It is empty and filled with sorrow of what it once was.

I walk past it and stop in my tracks.

My entire body freezes as I recognize something.

It smelled like a field of roses.

"Are you lost?" A voice called.

The end