Use me | chansung

🐍Scorpions🐍

He brought me to his bedroom and laid me down on the bed gently, pulling the covers on me. It was indeed much warmer and cozy. I look around at the walls and watch that they are filled with job applications and money goals. This is quite sad. It was even smaller then my room, like he had given me the bigger one of the two.

"Is this better?"

"Yes...thank you" as soon as I put my nose to the covers, I close my eyes and I'm in heaven, they smell so good, better then all of the rest.
"Seriously, what detergent do you use?"

He blushes again and looks away.

"Why do you keep asking that?"

"Because it smells incredible...especially here"

"Is it the same smell as in the alleyway?" He asks and I nod, I think it is.

"I suppose yes..."

He nods and smiles, still trying to look away.

"I can't afford a detergent...I just wash it all with water"

I feel my cheeks heat up and I look at him confused.

"Then why do they smell so good? Is it your parfum?"

"I don't wear parfum..."

We both blush when it hits us. He just smelled really good naturally, and I had my nose plunged into his covers. I put them away from me and my face becomes red, while he looks away.

"I-ill come back when you wake up..."

"O-okay"

He leaves and I pull the covers again, fuck he smelled good, why was he so perfect? Once I hear him going away, I get out of the bed and search in his room for the key in this. I look in drawers and under the bed, where was it?

When I arrived at his desk I smile as I watch the screen of the computer.

I open it and was surprised to see I didn't require a password, this is too easy. I go in his files, his latest text messages and find nothing to help me with my question.

Is he straight? By that I mean, can he not be physically attracted to me?

It is the least important question right now, but I want to know what I'm getting myself into.

I open his computer history, felt like I scrolled on it for hours, there was nothing, not even a trace of porn or anything close.

"Oh come on...everyone has secrets" I whisper and keep looking, searching for any kind of proof.

I checked under his bed, around it, maybe he was old school and liked magazines? Hell I don't know. But I want to find out.

The door swings opened and I'm on the bed, my hips in the air as I'm looking down the bed. Now...from his point of view, I'm practically bent over.

"What are you doing?" He leans on the doorframe, almost amused and stares at me.

"N-nothing." I get up and look over at him with crossed arms. He walks over to the computer and watches it.

"Why are you interested in my search history?" He raised a brow and I just look at him. I can't possibly respond, no lie can cover this up. "Jisung. Tell me what you're looking for..."

"I...just wanted to know...more about you"

"By looking at my history?"

"Yes...?"

"Jisung you're a horrible liar..." he smiles and, still shirtless, comes and sits next to me, looking dead into my eyes. "Just ask me, what do you want to know?" He said simply and I hold my breath.

"I wanted to know your sexuality..."

"Does it really matter?"

"No it's just-...I'm wondering..."

Chan sighs and shuffled his hair.

"Not that it changes anything, but I'm gay..." he seemed so down about it, like he hated saying each word. "I'd rather we don't talk about this farther..."

"I'm gay too..." I say quickly, looking into his eyes, he almost seemed reassured.

"Not a lot of people around here are..."

"You'd be surprised how many people are in the closet..."

"Maybe in your age range...but when I went to school, I was the only gay kid and everyone made sure to remind me."

"You should see my locker...do you know how many times I've had to Google 'how to remove sharpie from locker'?"

He looks at me in a tender way, almost like he understood every word to heart.

"I'm sorry that happened to you..."

"It's alright, I just roll with it now..." it didn't bother me as much as before, I grew from it, from the pain and insults. I coped...with sex.

"You asked me a question, can I ask you one?" He looks at me sweetly and I nod, nervous.

"That 50 day free badge in your wallet, was is it for...?"

"An addiction..." I respond shortly and he doesn't take his heavy eyes off of me.

"I know...I've seen you struggle since you've gotten here, but if you tell me, maybe I can help you...?"

"You can't help me with this one..." i try and distance myself but he gets closer.

"Tell me what it is for...maybe I can-"

"You don't understand...chan, I've tried to stop and apparently the only way I can is by staying here...I've tried distractions, to work, to go to school...all I can think about is...my addiction"
I scratch my throat as if I'm grabbing for air, I feel the need again but I hold it.

"Is it a substance abuse?"

"No..." I shake my head.

"Drugs?"

"Neither..."

"Then I do not understand..."

"It's simple. I'm addicted to a feeling that can destroy a mariage with a single glance...I'm hooked on this adrenaline rush you get, t-this fucking energy I get afterwards. I can't stop because it's the only thing that makes me stop overthinking...makes my anxiety calm down.."
I start to hyperventilate but I feel a few fingers stroke my leg.

Chan caressed me and gently looked at me.

"You're alright..." he says and I believe him, his tender voice seemed too relaxing. I calm my breathing down and he smiled.

"Good boy..." he says and I melt.

"Chan-"

"It's okay, just breath..." he keeps caressing my leg and I let him. "There are other ways to cope...just listen to my voice..."

After a few minutes I manage to calm down and look at him, he still looked so peaceful.

"Feel a bit better?"

"Yes...thank you..."

"Now...can you tell me?"

"Right..." I gulp and look at him, embarrassed already. "I'm a..."

" I am a sex addict..." I close my eyes.

"And I am asexual..." chan says with a smile.