Crooked Amare {Crooks x Reader}

It's Da Cops!

Warning: Light Gay NSFW

~Sans' POV~

I sighed, concern in the back of my mind. I'm sure (Y/N) is fine...the little prick. Don't get me wrong, I love the kid, but...but they're an asshole! Okay, maybe that's a little too far...but they can be a total piece of shit when they want to be. I guess everyone can though...what am I saying? Right, (Y/N) got kidnapped. I sighed and waved Papyrus off, telling him the lame excuse that I needed to get dressed.

"Ugh, the damn kid's probably fine..." "Hmph..," Farm said, crossing his arms over his chest. His beautiful, white ribs...I leaned in and softly bit one, a surprised moan escaping his mouth. "Y-Ya-!" "S-Sorry, Pumpkin...y-yer jus' so- mm?" Our mouths connected in a small, but heated kiss, his hands trailing down my chest. He pulled back, his left hand cupping my cheek instead. "We can continue this later, lovebug, mkay? We should go an' make sure that (Y/N)'s okay."

"B-But, Pumpkin..." "I know, but-" "J-Just a quickie? Please?" Farm's face turned lime green and he pushed my face away. "N-No! Lovebug!" I groaned and started putting my clothes back on, begrudgingly. "Don't get that way, hunny..." "This always happens, though! We're just 'boutta and then fucken- something happens!" Farm kissed my cheek, smiling down at me from on top of the workbench. "I'll make sure it's worth it, love." I sighed and kissed his collarbone, leaving him to get dressed.

Damnit, my jacket. As I went into the house, two officers were standing there, one a monster and the other a human. Fucken humans. "Who might you be?" the human asked, raising an eyebrow. "The fucken homeowner. The fuck are you, ya fleshbag?" The human seemed taken aback, before glaring at me. Their hand flew to their holster before the monster cop grabbed their shoulder. "You need to stay calm, Tabbs." "B-But, Sarge-" "Enough," the dragon monster said, turning to me with a calm smile.

"Sorry about her, she's a bit of an asshole." "No shit. Anyways, the fuck is this about (Y/N) goin missin?" Ren jumped up, grabbing onto my side, ew. Aliza was behind him, trying to get me to pick her up. I did, holding her frail body at least about 4 feet off the ground. "U-Uncle Sans!" I sighed and tapped my forehead onto hers, making her squeak. "Ow!" "Shush, kid. Go an' cuddle up with Paps. He's the big ole teddy bear, not me." "Sure ya aren't, lovebug."

"God damnit, Farm." I turned, seeing my lover stand there with a cocky grin. I was so gonna pound him later. "Sorry, sorry. I jus-" "And who the hell are you?!" That damn human said again, getting hostile. I summoned my axe into my left hand, pushing Ren off me. "Don't ya fucken dare talk ta him like that, ya skank." The monster cop chuckled, keeping the damn disease-ridden skin wearing little- "Ya don't gotta worry 'bout it, Officer. He's too dumb ta hurt anyone," Farm said, patting my shoulder.

I looked away, feeling my face heat up in embarrassment. I mean, I know I'm stupid, but c'mon. I unsummoned the axe, when it hit me that the officer never tried to draw his weapon. Did he think I was stupid, too? "He doesn't seem dangerous. I mean, any monster with two little humans clinging to him can't be that bad." I chuckled and put Aliza down, watching her run to Papyrus, who had been silently curled up on the couch. Oh, for fuck's sake- "Paps, tha fuck are ya doin?"

"Leave 'im alone, hunny," Farm said, patting my back. If he weren't so fucking beautiful, I would chop his damn head off and make dinner for Papyrus. "Yeah, okay. Anyways, what do ya an the flesh thing need?" The monster laughed. "Well, Officer Tabbs and I-" "We think you and your monster friends kidnapped the human. It'd be just like you to-" "Tabbs." The human sighed, pushing her blonde bangs out of the way.

"Sorry about her. Tabbs had a lot of bad experiences with monsters. She doesn't really trust us all that much," the monster cop said. If I could read better, I'd be able to read his fucking name. "Thank ya fer keepin her in check, Sargent Claws." Thank fuck at least Farm can fucken read. "Just call me Sarge, kid. But we are here about the disappearance of a 22 year old human in the area." I sighed and scratched my neck, looking away. "(Y/N), right? Yeah, Paps...said somethin' about that."

Sarge nodded, his cheerful demeanor dropping. "There was blood on the carpet and window from the last room they were in. The window was open, not broken, so we figured it must be someone they knew...the, um...ex-queen pointed us in your direction, saying you and your brother were known kidnappers?" I froze up, hearing Farm's voice vaguely in my ear. I felt my arms begin to tingle as my body started losing feeling.

I was vaguely aware of something touching my arm before I blacked out completely. When I eventually came to, I was sitting in my bed with Farm straddling my lap. I flushed and gently grabbed his hips, making him look at me. "Heya, P-" "Uncle Sans!" I sighed and turned, seeing Aliza and the two officers. I felt my face heat up from the compromising position Farm and I were in. His soft hands touched my cheek, stroking it softly with his thumb.

"You fainted when I mentioned...you know who." I nodded, holding my head with one hand. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that, Sarge. But I think ya got the wrong guys. Paps' crushin' on em real hard and they're like a little siblin' ta me. Dunno who coulda done that..." Sarge nodded, writing it down into his little notepad. "Your brother, Papyrus...he refused to talk. Our...'source' said he was rather talkative..." "He's been like that fer a while now. Dunno what happened, but it's been like, uh...since right after Halloween."

Sorry, I guess it's a short chapter. Thank you to @spookysobbing for the help proofreading!

Date: 11/12/22 18:29

Word Count: 1012