Crooked Amare {Crooks x Reader}

Not So Bad, Huh?

~(Y/N)'s POV, a month later~

I sighed and continued watching owners arguing with police about their "No Monsters Allowed" signs. A lot of businesses weren't comfortable with magical goats and skeletons walking into their diners and ordering a coffee, I guess. I hadn't talked to the monsters since Aliza first freed them- mostly because finals were coming up. Rensselaer had been bugging me about going to the house of one of Aliza's monster friends.

Finally, I had free time, so I decided to head over. Rensselaer had already told Aliza, so I ended up driving over with him. "Welp, we're here, Ren." "I see that, (Y/N)." I rolled my eyes and got out, seeing Aliza rush out. She gave me a hug first and then gave Ren a hug. Rensselaer's face turned red, making me laugh. "Yer little brother's pretty weird." I jumped a bit at the random appearance of Sans. "Oh, hey, Stan." "It's...Sans." "Oh...close enough. Where's Polish, you're brother?" "P...Papyrus?" "Yeah, him."

Sans just gave me this...look. I remembered their name, it was just funny seeing Sans get super weird. "He's, uh, inside...PAPS-" I covered my ears as the tall skeleton came outside. He just stared at me. "...(Y/N), YES?" "Yep...nice to see you again, Pidgeon!" "I-ITS...PAPYRUS?" "Ah, yes, that's what I meant. Papyrus. Yes, totally." Ren sighed and walked forward. "Sorry about (Y/N), their way of showing kindness is being a jerk." I smiled and ruffled Ren's hair. "Shut it, shorty."

"Guys, c'mon, l-let's just get along all nice a-and everything..," Aliza said, smiling nervously. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. "Fine, whatever. But I don't trust them, neither of them. They're too tall." "MY BROTHER IS VERY SHORT, THOUGH, (Y/N)." I went silent before busting out into a very loud laugh. Ren was cackling behind me. Is this all monster humor?? It's amazing. "Oh my fuck, you're hilarious, dude!" "ME?" "Yeah, you!" "AH, WHY THANK YOU, (Y/N). I AM QUITE FUNNY. UNLIKE MY BROTHER, SANS. HE'S THE WORST." "Yeah, he is-"

"I don't like 'em, Aliza," Sans said, pointing at me. "Good thing I wasn't aiming for your unrequited love then, Sand." "It's...Sans." "IT IS QUITE FUNNY WHEN THEY SAY YOUR NAME WRONG, BROTHER." "Shut up, Papyrus." I snickered and walked closer to the tall skeleton. "So, I remember Aliza mentioned you like puzzles too? Like traps and puzzles." "YES, I FIND THEM QUITE FUN TO MAKE." I nodded in agreement and walked back to my car, grabbing a blueprint from my glove box. 

I walked back over and handed it to the skeleton, who began reading over it. "I made this while I was waiting for Ren to get out of his club, one day. It's-" "A PUZZLE TRAP USING A WEIGHTED SYSTEM WHERE THE RIGHT ANSWER IS TO CUT ONE OF THE PIECES IN HALF...INTERESTING." "Aw, thank you, Papyrus. It took a lot of time to find something that was nearly unsolvable." "P-Papyrus made a bunch of puzzles w-with almost unsolvable a-answers..," Aliza said, walking beside us. 

"Huh...you know, you seem like a pretty cool guy. How about we go find somewhere nice to get some food? I didn't eat last night, or this morning." Ren sighed and hit my shoulder gently. "I told you to eat when you got home!" "I was busy, Ren, shut itttt." "I WOULD BE ELATED TO HAVE LUNCH WITH YOU!" I smiled and gestured to my car, before realizing it may be too small for Papyrus. Nonetheless, the five of us piled in with Papyrus in the front, taking up a bunch of damn space. I feel bad- being that tall must suck.

We got to one of my favorite restaurants, T.F.I.F.(Thank Fuck It's Friday. Yes, I did this. It's funny, fuck you) Luckily, this restaurant welcomed monsters. I totally forgot about that for a minute. We walked in and were greeted by a monster server. "Sans, Papyrus! I didn't know you were planning on having lunch with...with humans," the bear said. "Yeah. I don't really wanna, but food, ya know?" "BROTHER, BE NICE. (Y/N), ALIZA, AND REN DECIDED TO HAVE LUNCH WITH US." "Whatever..."

I offered a smile to the bear, who seemed to not trust me. Can't blame him, he's probably not used to too many humans wandering up to him. "T-Table for f-five, mister," Aliza said. The bear smiled and patted her head, leading us to a round table. Ren sat next to Aliza, and I sat on the edge of the same side. The skeletons sat together on the other side, Papyrus and I across from each other. We all scanned the menu, but I noticed the brothers both seemed upset. 

"If it's about what you're getting," the two looked at me, kinda awkwardly, "don't worry about it. I'm paying." "...'s not that. Can't decided what ta get." Papyrus nodded. Aliza was giggling to herself like a lunatic. "What's your deal, Aliza?" "I-Its all so good looking! I want everything!" "I'm not paying for you to get three of everything on the menu, silly. Maybe afterwards we can get ice cream or something. Would that suffice, my liege?" Aliza nodded rapidly, making Ren chuckle.

"You boys, same deal. Get what you want, but save some room for ice cream. Unless you'd rather get a different dessert?" "N-NO, THANK YOU, (Y/N). IT MEANS A LOT TO MY BROTHER AND I." "Y-Yeah...thanks, I-I guess..." Hearing them both genuinely thankful and even stuttering made me flustered. They were surprisingly cute when they were happy. When the human waiter came by to take our orders, the skeletons got really quiet. When Ren, Aliza, and I ordered, the waiter waited for the two of them. "You two okay?" I asked, seeing Sans just kinda look at me. Look as if 'of course not, moron.' Aliza passed a paper and they both wrote down what they wanted.

She ordered for them and the waiter left, muttering about these 'weird monsters'. "What was that? You two froze up!" Ren said, a mix of anger and concern. "...we ain't really...tha fondes' o;' humans. Not since that damn kid in the striped sweater killed the King." "S-Striped-" "Oh, (Y/N), w-wait! Calm down!" I put my head in my hands and just...did Frisk kill the King? Is that why they got all aloof suddenly? I felt a hand on my shoulder, a very large hand. I looked up and saw Papyrus being all concerned. Even Sans seemed concerned.

"Huh?" "Aliza...told us, 'bout yer, uh, connection with that...I-I won't bring it up, sorry 'bout that, kid." I sighed and looked at Aliza, who was avoiding eye contact. "Thanks, I appreciate it, you two. I'll try not to bring up anything about your past." The two smiled, seeming content. "Food's here!" Ren said. Of course, we all dug in. I was pretty hungry after all. 

Date: 10/13/22 12:04

Word Count: 1134