Sigyn's Discovery (Part 1)

Renewed (SIGYN)

"Sigyn, wake up."

I jolted at the sound of his voice, terrified that all I'd felt the night before had only been a dream, and his mirage beckoned me out.

But Loki smiled at me and stroked my arm. All real. "You still have time to rest if you need to, but I didn't want to go without giving you this."

My heart still fought against the top of my throat from the surprise, but I breathed easy at his expression. Morning crept through the closed drapes, softening the sharp edges of his features with a tinge of blue. "Must be quite a gift, then."

He hummed and looked down. "I feel it is." Loki had a bundle—folded and familiar—and he placed it next to me. "I cannot have you by my side as Odin, so I hope if you have this, you can feel as though I'm at yours."

I unfolded his cape and draped it over myself, letting his lasting scent on the fabric wash over me. "How many times will we trade this back and forth?"

"I want this to be the last," he said, firmly enough that I believed him. "My life is unpredictable. I do not know what the future will bring—if we can have the kind of future I wish for at all. But when you see this, you should know one thing. A simple truth."

His pause left me nothing to focus on but my galloping heart. "Which is...?"

"How I feel for you is no lie. Do not doubt it." Loki reached for my face and pulled me near, giving me a slow kiss that I now knew meant affection and not sex. No expectations.

"What am I going to do with you?" I sighed, wishing I could convince him to stay with me.

"Anything you wish." He bounced his brows and stood to leave, ready to don his disguise and carry on with the day. "Though it is unlikely, if I do not see you today, promise you will dream of me."

"If I do not see you today, promise you'll meet me in one."

He smiled with closed lips. "A promise that will be, Ginny." With that, Loki vanished into thin air and left my chamber slowly so no one would be suspicious of the unmanned movement of my door.

I stood to wrap his cape around my waist as I used to, pinning it with Mother's brooch. Beneath my new black robes, it filled out the shape of my hips and made me feel more beautiful. While Theo tried to convince me daily of such things, Loki didn't comment on my appearance much at all. He simply gave me joy.

No greater accessory existed.

***

Sensory flashbacks of bucking atop my clandestine lover occupied every moment I wasn't actively working. It made the seconds slow, like they did the first time I awoke with him. I trekked the servantry halls and made sure no one was missing or otherwise in the wrong place; my duties as a leader were made more taxing by the ache in my thighs and the tenderness at the back of my head from him pulling my hair.

Welcome pain, of course. Proof it hadn't been my imagination.

Thyra cornered me outside of the kitchens at midday, surprising me with her urgency. "Sigyn, what happened?"

I furrowed my brow, unable to gauge if her tone was concern or admonishment.

"You and Theoric. It's all anyone can talk about today." She quieted to a whisper, looking side to side first. "When I delivered the king's meal this morning, I passed Theoric interrogating a group of other soldiers. He was furious."

"Well—"

"He said he heard you with another man last night and wanted to know who it was at all costs. That's not true, is it?"

A rush slammed my stomach to the floor. He heard us?

Thyra read my mind in my lack of response and backed away with a judgmental sneer. She looked more pained than even he did the night before, with an open mouth of disbelief. "Sigyn, whatever you're doing, I hope you're thinking it all the way through. Theoric's a good man."

"I...I know he is," I said, swimming in guilt for moving on so quickly. Or had I ever really moved on from the former? "It's more complicated than it seems."

"What could possibly be complicated? Have you no shred of faithfulness?"

I grumbled at her accusation and clenched my fists. "Faithfulness in such context presumes I was bound to a commitment. Theoric is not my husband. The only person I am beholden to is myself."

Her protracted sigh told me every word I'd spoken was about to be repeated in the next room, but I couldn't do anything about it. She would make her own conclusions, just like Theo did. "So it's over now?"

"Yes. We aren't compatible." I unwound myself and stood up straight. "He is a good man, as you said. I wish him nothing but positive intent as he seeks a wife."

Liv called for her down the hall to assist with another chore. Thyra sulked, disappointed in how I had given her so little. "I can't stay now...but will you at least tell me what happened? Why you broke his heart?"

"Yes. I promise, you'll see why it wouldn't work. But who knows...perhaps you'll find that he's a perfect match for you instead."

She nodded, though I still couldn't read her response. Was she grateful for his availability, or angry with me for possibly tainting him? If a man suffers a broken heart, is there less of him to give?

I couldn't let guilt over Theoric ruin the bliss I woke to. After so many years spent bowing before those who couldn't so much as learn my name, I was desired and known by the most powerful man in Asgard.

It might've been selfish to an outsider. But if that's what it took to finally get what I wanted, so be it.