His Human

Eighteen

Brooklyn's POV

I think I spent around three days doing very little other than crying. I didn't leave my room. I didn't eat, but I drank a little occasionally.

I definitely lost weight, and I look sickly. My skin looks like it's being stretched to cover my bones and my eyes are sunken and hollow. Empty.

I finally figured out what was off about Jax. His eyes. They weren't full of the usual emotion, the...almost...adoration. The care. They were empty. Void of emotion.

After those three days, I knew it was time to pull myself together. I stood up, put on clothes - I hadn't changed in those three days - and used makeup to cover the bite on my neck. I still loved it, and the person who gave it to me, but I needed to get over him.

I let out a breath and tried to make myself look healthier using makeup.

Spoiler alert: it didn't work very well.

I couldn't stop wondering why he broke up with me. If there was someone else (again) I don't know if I could survive it.

I left my hair down to provide a shield around my face before exiting my room.

The moment the noise of my door closing rang through the room, my parent's stopped talking and stared at me, a mixture of surprise and sympathy in their eyes and faces.

I smiled sleepily, but it wasn't real. The gaping hole inside of me refused to let me feel an ounce of happiness. No good emotion was possible. No neutral emotion was possible.

Ignoring the pain inside me, I got food and shoveled it in my mouth, not even tasting it. I wasn't hungry, but I needed to eat. 

My parents and I stayed silent, and I knew they were worried about me. But I couldn't muster the strength to fake an emotion.

After I ate, I went back to my room and found minimal comfort in books.

The next week was the same. I ate, drank, read, and slept. However, I pretended like everything was fine. 

I'm not hurt. I'm not empty. Im not upset. Nope. I'm completely fine. I'm over him. I definitely don't love him anymore. Pssht. Please.

Yeah, I absolutely love him. I'm not fine. I'm not okay. I'm not over him. And I don't think I ever will be.

So, why deal with pain when I could push it away and act normal?

Out of fear of coming in contact with him, I knew I had to move again. Apparently I'm great at running from breakups.

My parents weren't surprised when I told them. They completely understood. I needed to leave. 

I bought a plane ticket with my savings and packed. It was time to leave. Beautiful as this place is, everything reminds me of him. 

Where we made out on the couch. 

Where the flowers he brought me once sat in a glass of water.

Where he stood to pick me up for our first date. For the party.

Where I realized I love him.

Where he attacked me.

Where he broke dow the bathroom door to get to me after attacking me.

I love him. So much that it hurts. 

Especially when he doesn't love me back.

I bid my parents goodbye, hugged them, and left. The airport wasn't far, and I drove. I didn't want my parents coming to the airport with me - I just want to leave.

I boarded my flight and stared out the window as crushing grief filled me, as if he had died. But he might as well be dead - I'm never seeing him again either way. 

Jax's POV

This past week or so has been the worst week of my life. Before I had a mate, I didn't know what I was missing. But now it's pure torture to stay away from her.

I'd rather go utterly insane than have her be in danger.

A knock on the door made a growl immediately rise in my chest. I'm much more violent and angry than before.

"What?!" I snarled, raking my fingers through my hair. I probably looked crazy.

Xander opened the door, looking as angry as I felt. "What the heck is wrong with you?!" He yelled.

I narrowed my eyes. "What?"

"Did you seriously end whatever was going on with your mate?" He growled, grinding his teeth together as his eyes flashed.

I snarled. "Of course! I was putting her in danger!"

"You idiot!" Xander yelled furiously. "She's safer with you protecting her! Who's going to save her if you're a freaking country away? And did you even think about how she's feeling?"

I stood up angrily, my chair falling over backwards. "She's not safer around me! People use her against me and she ends up hurt! She won't need saving anymore. And all I'm doing is thinking about her!"

"Not about how to protect her." Xander growled, referring to my last statement. "About how she's feeling? You know she starved herself for three days because of how upset she was? She's depressed! She's extremely hurt! She's cried herself to sleep every freaking night because of a dumb idiot that destroyed the one good thing going on in both of their lives!"

I clenched my fists, knowing that what he said was true. But I also knew I had to keep her safe. "I'd rather have her upset than dead." I said firmly.

"You really aren't listening." Xander growled. "She. Isn't. Safe. She's going to be used and you aren't going to be able to save her. And what about if she does move on? How are you going to feel if she get s a boyfriend? Get married? Haves his kids?"

A rush of anger flew through me, more than what I'd been feeling before and a snarl rose. "I'll get over it." I said, ignoring the first part of his argument. She's safer without me.

Xander slammed his fist on my desk. "Think about this. The pack needs a Luna. They need a predecessor. You need a mate. You only get one, and you're throwing her away." He snarled.

"Shut up!" I roared. "Shut up and get out! I'll get a Luna if we need one! Just leave me alone!"

Xander, unable to resist a direct order from an alpha, growled and stalked our, slamming the door behind him while I feet my chair up and collapsed into it.

He's not right. I refuse to accept it. She's safer without me. Safer to be a normal human. Even if it means that she moves on. That she finds someone new.

And if the pack needs a Luna, I'll get one. I'll find someone for the job. I won't do anything romantic with them, except using them for a child. 

With my mind made up, I went back to my paperwork while trying to ignore the pain of missing Brooklyn.

-~-~-~-

I used to Xander to say exactly what I would scream at Jax right now if I could. But he's a stubborn idiot and is adamant that he's right.

Until next time, VOTE. COMMENT. FOLLOW ME. Thanks! :)

Maybe check out some of my other stories? I have a LOT because I'm constantly starting new ones 😂 

-HKMisawesome

-~-~-~-