For Better or For Worse (Loki x Reader)

Chapter Fifty

Hey, all! Sorry for the wait; sophomore year of college is currently kicking my butt. I haven't had a free weekend this month, and I won't get one until the weekend before Halloween. So, to say the past month has been hectic is an understatement.

But, enough of that! I do hope that you enjoy this new installment of For Better or For Worse! Let me know what y'all think!

Loki's POV

I tapped the blunt nail of my forefinger against the glass in front of me, still half full of dark red wine, as Thor told some grand adventure of the Avengers. I was only half paying attention to the story I was sure Thor had most likely told me before, but I appreciated the distraction nonetheless. Thor provided a great deal of solace in the trying days following my wife's kidnapping. He had kept me distracted when all I wanted to do was tear (YN/)'s parents and brother apart, both verbally and physically. He had stayed up late with me when I couldn't sleep, too afraid to close my eyes and see the harrowing images of (Y/N)'s capture. And more than once, he had provided a solid shoulder to cry on.

Norns, this entire process had been so hard. I thought that the longer she was gone, maybe, just maybe, I would be able to wrap my head around the idea that she had been taken. Maybe I could stop reaching over the cold side of the bed in the morning. Maybe I could stop rolling over at night, reaching over to wrap her in my arms. Maybe I could get out of the hole I had dug myself and start being of some good to my family. Maybe I could stop feeling sorry for myself and get my useless arse in gear and go save my wife on my own.

But, as time went on, it only got harder. Instead of coming to terms with the situation and doing something helpful, I could only feel the anger and rage growing like wildfire inside of me. It was harder to reign in my anger, to control the tears, to reason with the seemingly infinite pit in my stomach. Norns, it had only been a few days since my wife was literally ripped from my grasp and even fewer since (Y/N)'s parents and brother had come to stay on Asgard. My physical wounds were healing nicely, and I was nearly back at one hundred percent, but the emotional and mental wounds were still flayed open and raw.

Now, we were waiting not so patiently for our father to return from his meeting with the royal court and higher-ranking officers of the einherjar. I was still angry about not being allowed in the meeting, but I could also understand the reasoning behind keeping me out; I was too close to the situation. Yes, we were all family, and I knew both of my parents viewed (Y/N) as their daughter, but she was still my wife. The bond and the emotional connection we shared would have clouded my judgment. Hel, it already had, but we couldn't have that in the meeting where the rescue of my wife was being carefully and tactfully planned.

I would just get in the way and cause a scene. We didn't need another scene, not one caused by me anyway. After one too many comments from (Y/N)'s parents, Thor had to physically hold me back from the offending creatures that tried to call themselves (Y/N)'s family. Her family was here, with us. Her family was me, Thor, Jane, Mother, and Father, not these beasts who scarred her physically and mentally. I clenched my fists tightly at the mere thought of them.

"Loki," a voice said, and I jumped when there was a hand suddenly on my shoulder. I nearly spilled my wine at the unexpected touch. "Easy, brother," his deep, baritone voice came again, much softer this time as if he was speaking to a frightened child. And in some ways, I very much felt like a small, frightened, helpless child. I had no control or grasp over the situation at hand. At the moment, there was nothing for me to do. It was being handled, and I knew that. But that didn't stop me from feeling incompetent and like a failure of a husband.

"Brother, please," Thor said, a worried tone to his voice. That, and anger, seemed to be the only two tones my older brother was able to express these days.