Butterflies.

Chapter 20.

Sam's POV.

We have to find this demon. There's been another killing and I highly doubt this was his last assassination. If we don't find them fast, someone else is going to die. "Hello boys." Crowley said appearing in front of us as we we're heading I'm the diner. "Well?" Dean asked. "Apparently a couple of demons have been keeping it under wraps for a demon friend that he stole one of the hellhounds. The demon that feeds them." "Awesome." Dean said. I start to panic just a little. I know Gabriel felt it because he put his hand on my arm and slightly squeezed to try to comfort me as best he could. God I love this man so much he is perfect im every single way. It's been months since we've started dating and he still give me the most breathtaking butterflies. I can't explain how much I love him. We head inside the diner with Crowley to eat and talk about the hellhound and demon. I stayed quiet and looked down. I ordered a salad but I barely ate any. I just get so repold by food now, the thought of even eating makes me want to throw up. "So what are we going to do?" Crowley asked. "What is this we?" Dean asked irritated. "Well you need my help and I need yours so now we're going to team up and get this deceitful disgrace of a demon." "Woah woah, why do we need your help?" Gabriel asked kind of offended which is cute. He doesn't like when someone doesn't recognize how powerful he is. I love this man to death. I just wish I could make him proud, instead my body is boiling thinking of being around demon blood again. I want it so bad I can't even explain. All that power and the high I get from it. Damnit! Stop it. You can't do this to Gabriel, Dean, or Castiel. This is wrong and you know it Sam. Stop thinking like that. Gabriel grabbed my thigh and gave it a slight reassuring squeeze. He leaned over and whispered in my ear. "Hey baby, just breathe. If you don't want to or can't do this just say the word and we'll stay at the motel. No one will blame you baby. I love you so much. Just take a deep breathe." He whispered and kissed my cheek returning to his posture from before. "Can you let me out babe?" "Yeah, are you okay?" He asked as he stood up to let me out of the booth. "Yeah I just need to use the restroom." I said. "Really Sam? Restroom?" Dean said chuckling at the end. "Yes Dean, sometimes people are respectful of other people." I said glaring at him. "Whatever." He said as I walked away. I go to the bathroom and go into a stall and lock it. I sit down and pull out my secret blade and make some cuts that are deep and long. I had to do something to help with the urges. I can't stand them anymore they're so strong. "Baby?" I head Gabriel say. Shit shit shit shit. I fumble with my stuff trying to get it put up. "Yeah! I'm fixing to come out!" I yelled frantic. "Are you okay?" He asked. "Yeah, my stomach is just hurting." I lied. "Okay, well the food is out, I just wanted to let you know." He said. "Okay yeah. I'll be out in a minute." I said. He left and went back out. I get my wrap on my cuts and go back out. Gabriel stands up and let's me in. When I sit down he puts his hand down to my wrist. I went to pull my hand away and he stopped me. He slid my sleeve up and felt the wrap, my heart dropped. He knew. Oh no oh no oh no! I go full on panic mode. He stayed calm though. He just healed my cuts and gave me a kiss. "It's okay baby. I'm not mad. I just wish you would've told me. I still love you just as much baby. Don't worry." He whispered in my ear.