𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫!

024

ANAIS stood in the line of a dully lit pizza place, red hoodie flipped up and she counted the change in her pocket. it had been about a week since the matt incident, the incident being that she lost control and there him through a window in front of mike.

she had been avoiding the party like a plague, specifically max and mike because of all that happened last week; mike's freak out and max's lying for absolutely no reason. it was just too much to deal with and she felt like she couldn't like either of them in the eyes.

though she missed dustin and lucas, wherever they went the other two would follow and she couldn't deal with that.

it was kind of stupid, really. getting attached to all of them when she knew this hawkins placement was never meant to be a permanent thing. so not only did she cause problems for herself emotionally now that she had to unattached and leave, it was even worse now that mike knew about her powers.

the thought of all that made her sick so she tried her best to push it all away as she ordered some pepperoni pizza. she just wanted to grab something to eat and get out of the house instead of being cooped up all day. autumn was her favorite time of year so it was nice to feel the crisp air and see the leaves browning all around.

as anais grabbed her food she heard the bell on the door ring signaling someone had entered thr store but she didn't pay attention to it.

she turned around with her tray and walked to a front facing table for two. she dawg with her food and drink, eating in peace until someone stood next to her.

"..can we talk?"

she looked up to see mike in a brown and beige striped grandpa sweater that he looked ridiculous good in. his hair had curls peaking through and his eyes looks kind of tired.

anais peered behind him to see dustin and lucas staring at her. when they caught her eyes they immediately turned around and pretended they weren't looking at the pair.

"outside." mike added. anais nodded and stood, using a napkin to wipe her mouth before walking behind mike and fixing her hair. the two walked to the empty parking lot and found a lonely green bench to sit on.

there was a weird silence for a while scared her.

"..i havent seen you in a while." mike spoke in an awkward tone.

"i've been busy." she quipped quickly in reply. she had it like it was some kind of defense mechanism.

mike shook his head. "why did you leave the restaurant?" he asked, cutting straight to the chase.

"excuse me?"

"last week," mike commented. "you left me with marshall and julie and that guy matt- who, by the way, will be fine in case you were wondering."

"i was scared mike, you were freaking me out, okay?"

"i freaked you out??" there was an emphasis on the i in the sentence which had this strange underlying tone.

"yes!" ana exclaimed. "you were yelling!"

"i was confused!"

"you could've asked me questions!"

"you ran away!"

"i got scared, mike! you were yelling!" anais exclaimed with tears in her eyes as she drew a slight attention from those walking past them as she ended the back and forth. "you scared me."

"me? how did i scare you?" mike's face was all confused and his tone sounded all distorted. like he was somehow motioning he should be afraid of her.

anais drew back. "are you scared of me?" she sounded hurt. "mike i would never do anything to hurt you like that.. i would never hurt anyone like that on purpose i just lost control. i wasn't thinking cleverly and i was upset i just i.."

mike listened to anais ramble, looking at the frantic motion of her hands and the panic on her face, it took over her so much you could hear it in every aspect of her voice.

mike gave a deep sigh before putting his head in his hands. "im not scared of you, ana. i was caught off guard. i didn't mean to yell but i was just so confused.."

"..why is this so hard?" she trailed off.

"what?"

she looked down. "i like so much mike, but i can't do this anymore."

"do what, ana?" he asked, lifting his head from his hands.

ana stood up from the bench and covered her face. "this is too hard! i hate fighting with you every day, i hate crying over the things you say or do but most of all i really hate when we're not doing any of those things."

mike could feel every movement of the earth as he stared at the wet cement below his feet, kicking gravel with the side of his shoe and gripping this bench as he began to feel uneasy. he knew what was coming next.

"i hate that i love the feeling of you hugging me, mike. i hate that when i wake up every morning i wanna see you. i hate the constant back and forth of 'does he like me, does he not' i hate- i hate that you can dictate everything i feel and my entire mood based on a look you give me or the tone of your voice when you say something to me.." her voice was hushed and she sat back down on the bench with a heavy sigh.

"i hate it too." mike spoke after being silent for a moment. "ana when you first moved into hawkins i tried so hard to not like you. to not fall for you but it didn't work. i didn't wanna end up alone again when you left because i hate that feeling even more than i hate the feeling of liking you so much." anais let him continue. "i tried to be mean and standoffish but nothing worked. you were just there and you were you, perfect. it's like- how could i not fall for you? but the more i tried not to the more i did and now it's like this."

anais remained quiet for a moment as she took in everything that was just said. she placed her hand on top of his before taking in a breath. "my manager wants me to go on tour."

both of the two could feel their eyes pricking with tears. "and?" mike asked. he was hesitant and unprepared even though he knew the answer that lie ahead he was still reaching for something, some glimmer of selfish hope that she'd stay with him.

"i'm gonna do it."

mike stood from the bench quickly, in doing so harshly pulling his hand away from ana's and instantly missing the warmth.

"mike i'm sorry." ana called after him, standing up but only to he faced with the back of his head.

"yeah, me too."

anais watched him walk over to lucas and dustin, looking at how they hugged their friend and comforter him. she felt terrible as she watched mike get on his bike, sparing her not a single glance as he peddled away and wiped a tear from his eye, his friends close behind.

she felt alone in the world as she stood in the pizza place's parking lot, alone and sick. there was nothing left to do or nothing either could say- so the best thing was to leave.

leave

•••

the final chapter of 'rockstar!" will be out within the next two weeks. thank you.

-FAE