ⓜⒶŁＬⓔΔᗷˡ𝔼 M𝕖𝐭ⓐ𝕃ş (Golden Guard x reader)

Incorrect quotes

The next chapter is taking a bit, so have some definitely canon incorrect quotes to hold you over in the meantime :)

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Eda, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-

Lilith, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?

Nico, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.

Raine, appalled: Call the exorcist.

Nico, in Eda's window: I thought I'd find you here!

Lilith, climbing past Nico: WE COULD HAVE USED THE DOOR-

Luz: I know you love them.

Hunter: I am not in love with Y/N!

Luz, staring at Hunter: I never said who...

Hunter: *realizes*

Hunter: Shit. Well, anyways-

Lilith: Nico...

Nico: Oh no, 'Nico' in B flat.

Nico: You're disappointed.

Sparrow: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Adam: Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Eda: Ooh, somebody has a crush

Nico: Pfft, I don't have a crush on Lilith I just think they're cool, it's not like I stay up at night thinking about them.

*Later that night*

Nico, very much awake: Uh oh.

Lilith: *seductively takes off glasses*

Lilith: Wow...

Nico: *blushes* Haha... what?

Lilith: You're really fucking blurry.

Adam: I drink to forget but I always remember.

Sparrow: You're drinking orange juice

Y/N: I once went on holiday and pretended to be twins. It was amazing fun. I invented this mad, glamorous sibling and went around really annoying everybody. And d'you know, I could get away with anything when I was my crazy twin Y/N.

Luz: But you're Y/N.

Y/N: Kinda stuck. It's a long story.

Willow: Y/N's first detention, I'm so proud.

Amity: Whoa, back up. Why did they get detention?

Luz: Because they're an idiot.

Hunter, terrified: They can do that??

Nico: *slams books down in front of Lilith*

Nico: Boil up some Mountain Dew. It's gonna be a long night.

Lilith: You could have said literally anything else.

Nico: Cauldron boil and cauldron bubble, Baja Blast to fuel my trouble.

Lilith: I'm going to just stop challenging you when you say random shit. I won't win. I realize this now.

Y/N: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Hunter: You and me!

Y/N: *tearing up* Ok.

Eda: And here we see Lilith and Nico in their natural habitat. Texting each other variations of the word "garlic bread" to try to make eachother laugh.

Lilith: Gaelic bread.

Nico: Grueling brad.

Lilith: Ha ha, glamorous beans.

Sparrow: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset?

Adam: No, I said "Sparrow, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.

Hunter: I have very high standards, you know.

Y/N: I can make spaghetti...

Hunter: Oh no! You're meeting all my standards!

Adam: You have any sunscreen?

Sparrow: You can't get a sunburn from a bonfire—

Adam: It's for my marshmallow ya dummy.

Sparrow: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.

Adam: This is a lie.

Adam: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.

Adam: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

Adam, sweating: Sparrow, there's something I need to ask you-

Sparrow: Finally! You're proposing!

Adam: How'd you know?

Sparrow: Adam, you've dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Sparrow: I even picked it up once.

Hunter: Y/N, you're my best friend.

Y/N: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend.

Y/N: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!

*******

And scene.