Craving him || Chanlix

25.

Felix gasped in silence. Was Minho giving him drugs? Felix forgot about the fact that he was gonna speak to Chan and quickly waddled back to the living room. "Omg Ji, you're not gonna believe this" Felix whispered to his best friend. Jisung's face cheered up. "Omg what Lix?!" he excitedly turned to Felix, because he was ready to hear a nice gossip. "I think Minho is selling drugs to Chan" Felix's voice was barely audible, but Jisung gasped loudly when he thought he heard it correctly.

"My boyfriend is a drug dealer?!" he whisper-shouted. "SSSSHHH" Felix covered Jisung's mouth with his small hands. At that moment, Chan and Minho came back. Felix quickly removed his hands from Jisung's face and watched Chan walk past them, not sparing the two a single look.

"Minho, you and I need to have a serious talk" Jisung stood up and crossed his arms. Minho looked at Felix in panic, but Felix went to the kitchen. "I'm gonna get a glass of water" he winked at Jisung when Minho turned his head back and walked towards the kitchen counter.

He quickly started scanning everything that was on it; some plates and bowls that needed to be cleaned, the usual kitchen tools, cat food and a little bottle. Felix's eyes lingered at the bottle for a second before he got closer. This wasn't usual kitchen stuff, right? He picked it up, carefully to not make a sound, and read the sticker that was on it. "Melatonin" Felix read the word out loud in his head, but it didn't ring a bell. He turned the bottle and searched for small letters. "May help promote restful sleep"

Felix put the bottle back from where he picked it up and walked to the living room, feeling ashamed. "And I understand if you want to earn some extra money, but there are other ways Minho" Felix walked in on Jisung sitting in front of Minho with his hands on his boyfriend's shoulders. Felix cleared his throat which made Jisung look up. Felix shook his head aggressively and Jisung was lost for words. "Well, this is awkward" Jisung scratched his neck, while Minho was still confused.

"Felix, what did you tell him?" Minho now looked at Felix. "I kinda saw you giving Chan pills and I may or may not have told Jisung you were dealing drugs?" Felix looked at his feet while he played with his fingers. "What the fuck"

"At least it isn't true!" Jisung jumped up from the couch. "Why are you giving him sleeping pills?" Felix slightly tilted his head. Minho sighed before replying. "Like I already told you guys, this is personal shit okay? I promised him to keep it a secret, so if you're dying to know, go ask him"

"How? He hates me" Felix's tone saddened immediately. "He doesn't hate you Felix, he just-" Minho stopped for a second to think. "He's having a hard time" Felix's mind wandered to Hyunjin. Was Chan really that upset about their break up? "Now enough about him, let's bake some muffins" Minho hoped the night could still be fun since the atmosphere had changed. Although it wasn't tense anymore, everyone seemed to have something on their mind.

Making muffins went pretty good if you looked past the messy kitchen, Jisung's burned hair and one of the cats covered in flour, but, everyone was having a good time and that's what really mattered.

Felix was decorating a muffin on the dining table, together with Jisung, while Minho was cleaning the cat. "Look" Jisung held up his muffin which had a blue stickman drawn on it. "It's Minho," Jisung smiled proudly. "Is he a smurf?" Felix looked at Jisung while he placed down the fondant. "Excuse me?" Felix snorted at Jisung's reaction. "He looks gorgeous Ji" Felix tried to hold in his laughter for a second, but failed. Jisung huffed and poked inside Felix's muffin for revenge.

When they were finally done decorating, it was time for a movie. Minho and Jisung were already sitting on the couch, but Felix was still in the kitchen, getting more nervous the longer he looked at the muffin. Was this a good idea? What if he didn't like it? But Minho said he didn't hate him right? So would this muffin cheer him up?

Felix was holding a muffin which he spent most time decorating on. He had made a little kitten out of fondant since Chan told him his favorite animal was a cat. But now, Felix wasn't so sure of his idea. He felt the need to apologize to Chan, but for what even? He hadn't really done anything wrong right?

Felix took a deep breath and took the muffin with him. He walked past Minho and Jisung on the couch who turned their head when he walked past. "Where are you going?" Jisung was the first one to speak up. "I thought, maybe Chan would want a muffin?" Felix nervously shuffled with his feet, scared of a disagreeing answer. "He's probably sleeping" Felix looked at Minho and gave a small nod before walking to the stairs.

His heart started beating faster with every step he took. He held onto the muffin like it was a real kitten and made sure it wouldn't fall. When he stood in front of the closed guestroom, his heart almost stopped. He never knew, he would be this scared in his life to give someone a muffin.

Felix slowly opened the door. It was silent and almost completely dark. The only light that allowed Felix to see where he was going came from behind him. He tiptoed to the bed and for the first time in about a week, he could stare at Chan without getting yelled at. Felix admired his beautiful sleeping face and tried to resist kissing his forehead. Felix kinda felt like a creep just staring at him sleeping so he gently shook Chan's body.

"Chan," he whispered. "Chan" Felix poked his body. He froze when Chan's body moved a bit. He poked one more time, a little harder and quickly took a step back. Chan's eyes slowly opened and he tried to adjust to the light that came from outside his room. He groaned softly while he tried to figure out where he was. When his eyes landed on Felix in front of him, he was suddenly wide awake. Chan instantly moved away from him to the other side of the bed.

"What are you doing here?!" Felix began to panic when he saw the angriness in his eyes. "I-I wanted to give you this" Felix showed him the muffin with the kitten. Chan's eyes shifted from Felix to the muffin in his hands. "What the fuck?" Chan looked back up and locked eyes with Felix who lost all the confidence he gathered while walking upstairs."D-do you not like i-it?" Felix's lip began to tremble when he felt tears burn behind his eyes.

"Do you think I'm some little kid?!" Chan snapped at him. "I-I made a little kitten since y-you said it was your favorite animal" Felix started to sniffle. "Get out" That was all Felix needed to hear to make the tears fall. He carefully placed the muffin on the nightstand before walking out while the tears dripped down his cheeks in silence. When he closed the door, a sob came out. Felix quickly walked into the bathroom to calm down, before going downstairs.

Chan looked at the door which was closed a few seconds ago, when he heard a sob from the other side. He turned on the light next to the bed and looked at the muffin on the nightstand. A tear ran down his cheek when he noticed the little heart in the kitten's fur. Chan layed down again while he thought back to his cat plushie.

He was four years old when he got it for his birthday, it had the same little heart in the fur like the kitten on the muffin.

He was four years and two days old when the plushie was cut in half by his brother. Tears wetted the pillow Chan was laying on, but he didn't bother to wipe them away.

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Why does everything I write turn into angst?