Hawk Heart

31. The Last Touch

The week after, was painfully quiet. 

Theoretically, looking at the bigger picture, things were a lot better. My dad had decided to enroll me for university, in a course that I wasn't even sure about. Although, a part of me was relieved to leave the city, especially now when I didn't have Zeph around. The idea of him still stuck like a knife in my throat. 

Politically, the city had never been more stable. Arthur came to visit me, informing me that three of the House elders had been murdered. Their throats slit with a metal bird moulded in the shape of an origami. There was no doubt in my mind as to who had done it, although I wasn't sure what the Hawk's motive would be for that.

Not the Hawks', Zeph. 

As for me, I had never felt emptier. 

The rest of the Shadowcasters were still in refugee centres, although slowly getting identified. The death of two elders meant that they needed my dad back in office. The only positive that had cone off it was not having to see him every day. 

My mind however kept hovering relentlessly over one thing. A week, and I had no idea what had come off Zeph. 

"He's probably going to want to lie low for a while," Kai said reasonably to me one afternoon as he sat near the foot of my bed. I kept lying listlessly on the mattress, unable to find any will inside me. "That's probably for the best." 

''Aster...are you okay?'' he asked softly, placing a hand on my leg when I didn't respond. ''You've been this way for...way too long now.''

''I just...well...I can't be okay without knowing where he is,'' I admitted, the sudden pang in my chest almost crippling me, although I knew in my heart that was the only option. 

''It's gonna be a while before...you're okay,'' Kai said. 

I couldn't believe that it had been a week and Zeph hadn't tried to contact me. Of course, I knew it was dangerous for him, but a naïve part of me kept waking up at night thinking I had heard the snap of a twig, or that I had...felt the shadows around me move. It was stupid, since even when Zeph was here he had always been silent. 

''Him returning to the city right now...would only cause more unrest,'' Kai continued. ''The underbelly is being reconstructed for the first time in a decade, people might actually have decent homes and jobs.''

''I'm not...I still don't believe that,'' I admitted. 

Kai shrugged. ''According to the new policies they'll be second class citizens for some years. But...maybe its a reasonable price for what's to come.''

I buried my face in the pillow. Zeph was alive, hopefully well. That was my only solace. 

''It indicted him...didn't it?'' I asked. ''The attack happened when he was still in captivity. So..of course he didn't do it. Or...he at least has accomplices.''

''It's not enough to indict him completely. He...he now has murder charges on him,'' Kai said, lowering his voice. 

My stomach turned, disgusted at the thought. But even more disgusted that I didn't really care for it. The elders of the house were cruel, power hungry people. Maybe in a twisted way they had got what had come to them. 

''Well...I'd ask you to get over him but that'll happen when it does. I...know,'' he sighed before I finally felt the mattress rise slightly as he stood up. ''I'll...see you around I guess.''

I remained quiet, my mind still far away. The days and night over the last week had run into each other, and I couldn't find it in myself to care for either.  In a couple of days I would be moving out, and Zeph wouldn't be able to find me unless he asked my father where I was. Fat chance, of that ever happening.