Hawk Heart

17. Present, and Past

The night was beautiful. More than any other I had ever experienced. 

It was difficult to look at him, or even say anything. And maybe he felt the same way as we silently made our way back to the city. I stopped about a hundred meters away from my place at the mouth of a dimly lit alley and turned to Zeph, my heart somewhere around my throat as I fidgeted my feet. 

"Well er...I guess I'll see you then?" 

He didn't say anything for a while, his face shrouded in the darkness so I could only see his chin and lips clearly, which did nothing to ease my nervousness. 

"Yeah," he said softly after a while, not making any attempts to leave whatsoever. 

I turned to go, my stomach knotting. I knew he was gazing at me, and felt extremely conscious, afraid that I would somehow trip over my own feet. 

"Aster," he said suddenly. I turned to face him, my heart racing. 

He didn't say anything, simply walking closer to me so the ethereal golden light from the streetlamp lit up his face. His eyes dark as ever, his lips enticing. He reached for my hand, pulling me against his chest as he hugged me. It took me a few moments to hug him back, surprised by the sudden overwhelming affection, my heart swelling with warmth at the tenderness. I let myself bask in his warmth, his strong secure arms that held me so tight. And even through all his gestures, try as I might, I couldn't shake off the clammy, cold hand of dread that was slowly grasping my heart. Why was he suddenly so loving? Unabashedly so? 

He leaned away after a while, taking a step backward before taking a deep sigh. "Goodnight," he said, giving me a curt nod as he walked further backwards, disappearing into the shadows. I stared at the darkness for a few seconds, knowing in my heart that he wasn't going to leave till I went back to my house. The thought made me a smile little. It was so strange, how vulnerable he suddenly was. All his insecurities which he had always cradled. Breaking down in a moment of passion. Maybe his fear and uncertainty was what was crumbling his resolve. 

It wasn't until I reached the front door that lightning struck me. 

Kai. 

He should be okay. I had left him with his friends after all. I'd have to convince him not to tell my father however. 

I opened the door tentatively. Would dad be home? I wasn't sure. Even if he was and he noticed my absence, there wasn't really any reason for him to be mad at me, was there? I stepped inside the brightly lit hallway, my heart sinking when I heard a familiar set of footsteps appearing in the foyer, followed by another menacing pair of footsteps. 

"Aster!" Kai said, his eyes wide. His face was pale and he seemed to be trembling a little as he walked over to me and much to my surprise, flung his arms around my shoulder. I didn't hug him back, glancing at my dad instead, my stomach turning with dread. He stood with his arms behind his back, his face malevolently impassive. 

"Nice of you to turn up, Aster," He spoke in a low voice dripping with mirth. "Kai informed me that you had disappeared around evening."

"Your father said you can't lodge a missing person complaint so soon-" Kai said, his lower lip trembling. "I'm...I'm glad you're okay."

I pushed him away gently, trying to act nonchalant as I shrugged. "He was with his friends. I just wandered off. I'm not that late either." 

"Its just a bit...unsightly to leave someone like this without telling them," He said. 

"Right, sorry, Kai," I said sincerely. "I...got carried away."

"That's okay. I was just worried," Kai blurted out immediately.