Hawk Heart

10. Stay

Every minute was infernal torture.

I leaned against the car seat, staring at my wrist watch again and again. Time was too slow. No way it had only been seven minutes since he had left. There was simply no way.

It was three forty, and yet I had never felt more awake. And although everything around me was dark, dead silent, I had to step out, breathe in some air lest I suffocate in the car. I stepped out, the blast of cold air greeting me eagerly. The utter silence outside in stark contrast to my thumping heart. I paced around again and again, not really aware of my surroundings. I vaguely wondered how my dad would react if he found out I was out at almost four in the morning, wandering around on a dark, deserted road.

A part of me told me that he would just be disappointed if I returned home safely.

I leaned against the bonnet of the car and gazed at the academy, trying to picture what was going on inside. Zeph would be okay, he had a lot of experience when it came to shit like this.

Time was my arch nemesis as I stood waiting. Every minute weighing like a rock in my chest. If he didn't return in an hour, I'd have to go in. Where would I look for him?

The longest hour of my life trickled slowly by, my legs refusing to take my weight as anxiety crippled me. Every second, the air got heavier. Was waiting for an hour fine? Would it be better if I just went and looked for him?

No. Me going in at the wrong time could end up making things worse for him. Plus he had the shadow thing...how did it work exactly? Was it reliable enough? He had never really trained or anything. 

And so I waited, almost doubling over as anxiety manifested in physical agony in the pit of my stomach. I sat on the road, my back against the car as flashbacks from that night returned to me. The tide submerging me, the way I felt like a stranger looking onto myself. What if the worst was to happen to Zeph? No way. It couldn't be. He had to be fine. Of course he was.

My chest felt like it would collapse upon itself from the unyielding gravity. I took deep breaths, struggling to maintain rationality of the world around me. I pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging myself and rocking back and forth as I shut my yes.

Zeph, please be okay.

I prayed to some unseen power, hoping against hope that his dangerous mission wouldn't prove lethal. Why hadn't I tried harder to stop him?  

And although I had never really believed in the Light, that was all I wanted to do in that instant. I opened my  eyes, my heart plummeting as I looked on at the empty road. It was almost sunrise now, the first streaks of dawn beginning to emerge from the sky. A soft glow lighting the ground with a lover's touch. Where was Zeph? It was almost an hour.

Another agonising second. Another tormenting minute.

I glanced once again at the horizon, feeling like a man who had been submerged under dense waters, finally resurfacing as my lungs expanded with ecstasy to engulf the ambrosial air.

Zeph.

I got to my feet, breaking into a run and flung my arms around him without really thinking. "You're okay," I whispered, suddenly ashamed of the tears stinging the back of my eyeballs. My heart seemed alive again, each cell of my body electrified against his warmth. 

He didn't respond and I quickly disentangled form him, my cheeks burning. "I...I was really worried."

He gazed silently at me, and my blood ran cold. Something was wrong.

"Zeph...are you...okay?" There were no visible injuries on him, however his skin was pale, his eyes- terrifying pits of darkness. Was I imagining it or were there actually dark circles under his eyes? Was it just the shadow magic taking its toll on him?