Empty Inside (Diall)

Part Five

Empty Inside – Part Five

     At that moment, I felt so lost; terrified. I was sobbing into Niall’s shoulders like there was nothing else I could do. And to be honest, I think that was the case. But I didn’t want him gone from my life. Not after everything we’ve gone through. I really didn’t want that to happen. I don’t want to be abandoned and hurt again. Why is it as if I was never allowed to be happy for a long period of time?

Why?

“I’m s-s-sorry, N-niall…I-I’m so…s-sorry…” I sniffled, tightening the hug. I didn’t what to say or what to do anymore. I just didn’t want to disappoint him. I don’t want to disappoint anybody.

“Demi, what are you so sorry for?” he says n a gentle and slightly cheery manner, but I could tell he was worried by the way he caressed my head. It helped calm me, but it wasn’t enough, as the tears kept coming and coming.

I took a deep breath and exhaled in exasperation. He really did deserve better than me. “Can I…can I ask you something…?”

“Sure,”

“Why do you…like me?”

He shrugged, which made me roll my eyes amidst the tears. “You can’t just ask someone why they fell in love. Sometimes it’s stupid, sometimes it’d be cute, but other times, you just love the person dearly.”

Unknowingly, a small smile formed on my lips. “That’s a lot of wisdom for a leprechaun, isn’t it?”

“What, leprechauns can’t give good advice?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never made research in the leprechaun study.”

He laughed, and we stayed in each other’s arms for a bit longer. I really wish we could just stop time and stay in each other’s arms forever. I felt so safe in his arms. Almost as if, it was meant to be; as cheesy as that sounded.

I didn’t want to let him go.

“Demi,” Niall started. “Let’s eat first, it’ll help take your mind off things?” he offered.

I found myself hesitating, and why wouldn’t I? There were so many possibilities of failure to come. And I was too much of a coward to face it.

I looked back at the picnic he set up. On the ground laid a picnic blanket to sit on, and place on it was a picnic basket. Near the basket, were a couple of drinks, along with plastic cups. The weather had a subtle cool breeze to it, and it did feel a bit chilly.

Maybe this eating disorder was the punishment I’d receive for gaining a little too much? Was it because Niall wasn’t suited for a diva like me?

“Are you not hungry?” Niall asks, interrupting my thoughts.

Looking at him, made me frightened, he looked so worried. “Well, what do you have prepared?” I asked, giving him my best smile.

I could tell he didn’t really believe me a hundred percent, but he nodded nonetheless. “Well, we’ve got…” he sat down on the picnic blanket and grabbed the picnic basket; looking through the contents. “…some sandwiches, fruits, a bit of cake, a few pieces of chicken, crisps—”

“I’m assuming ‘crisps’ is your word for chips like snacks, right?”

Niall snickered at my comment. “Yeah, and lastly, drinks,” he finished.

“That’s a lot of food.” I commented, and I really hoped he didn’t take it the wrong way once I blurted it out.

“Well, I asked for your idea on a date, didn’t I?”

I rolled my eyes, and grinned. “And I told you, as long as I’m with you, it’s all good.”

“Now, say ‘ah!’” he says, holding up a little triangle-shaped sandwich in front of me.

The aroma only sparked the gag I was experiencing. But I forced my mouth to open, and take a tiny bite.

“Wasn’t that bite a little too tiny?”

“Because! I wanna feed you two!”

Proud of my believable excuse, I sat on the picnic blanket next to him, and grabbed one of the little triangle-shaped sandwiches. “By the way, what’s in these?”

“It’s a chicken sandwich,”

I used to really love chicken sandwiches. I shook the thought off, and brought the sandwich into Niall’s mouth. He gladly ate it all up; almost biting my finger really. “Careful! You could’ve bit my finger off!”

He laughed, and so did I. “I’d probably just lick the leftover pieces of bread on your hand, is all.”

“Yeah, right!”

We decided to catch up on things a bit more, and Niall told me about a few fond memories of his while touring. Surprisingly, every story was completely different from the other, and I could literally lsten to him go on and on for ages. We had plenty of laughs, and I always avoided to eat anything, while Niall had his normal go on food.

I did drink a bit of the juice he had every few minutes, and took a chip every thirty minutes. But to be honest, it felt like we were only speaking for a short time, lke the world stopped for us, but it was different for every one else.

I checked my phone and even noticed how it was already ten forty-one in the evening. We really did spend more time than I thought.

“Wow, we spent like…almost three hours just talking!”

“And you didn’t even have a bite of cake! Come on, love, say ‘ah’,” Niall says as he offers me a spoonful of the creamy delight.

I found myself staring at the cake, because I only took as much as eght or more pieces of chips, and I even halved them whle I took them from the bag. I really did feel lke vomiting any second, and drank juice whenever it started to come up.

I needed to keep my food down for as long as I could.

“Really, Demi, are you alright? You haven’t even taken a sandwich or cake! Say ‘ah’!” he attempts to feed me again.

“Ah,” I carefully bit the cake down to bits, despite its soft texture and gulped it down along with juice.

Not a very smart move, because the food was about to get up, and out of my mouth. I did my best to hold it down and managed to speak a few words. “I, uh, need to go to the bathroom.”

I stood up and quickly tried my best to find a public comfort room, and thankfully it didn’t take so long. I ignored Niall’s worrying calls and just began to do the usual ritual of my pitying ways to get skinny. It felt like I was going on and on forever, and the breezy wind wasn’t helping how freezing I was.

I was still on the process of letting it out when someone tapped my on the back.

“Are you alright? Sure you’re not sick, love?”

Not good. Not good at all.

Notes ~

~ We’re close to the end! Probably 2-3 chapters, so comment and vote away, people! It only takes a simple vote and/or a small comment to support me c;

     ~ Yours, M0N0CHR0ME