The Squib and the Werewolf (book 2)

47. Forgiven

Raya couldn't sleep that night, as she kept thinking about all the horrible things she had said to Molly, who had only been trying to protect Harry.
She left for Grimmauld Place first thing the next morning, so that she could apologise to Molly in private.
Remus said he would take care of Sophia, before joining her that afternoon.
When Raya reached Grimmauld Place she headed straight for the kitchen, where she knew Molly would be making breakfast.
"Good morning Molly" said Raya, announcing her arrival.
"Raya, I didn't expect to see you today" admitted Molly, as she spun around to face her.

"Given how I acted yesterday, I'm not surprised... I came here to apologise to you. The way I treated you last night was unacceptable, and I just hope that you can forgive me" said Raya.
"It's I who should be apologising to you, as I said some horrible things about you and Sirius" replied Molly.
Raya shook her head, "No, I'm the one who took things too far. Even when I insulted you, you didn't stoop low enough to bring up my lack of magical ability. Yet, I was cruel enough to mention Percy, who's behaviour is not your fault. So, I am sorry for the things I said. I was just trying to-".
"To protect Harry, I know" finished Molly.

"Yes. But I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on you, when it's not you I'm angry at" admitted Raya.
"I shouldn't have pushed you, or claimed that you didn't care about Harry. After everything that you've been through since the first war, you didn't need me making things worse" apologised Molly.
"I started fighting long before James and Lily died in the war. I was born a Squib, so I have been fighting against this cruel world, ever since I first drew breath. But when the world turned its back on me and my family, I admit that I became a crueller person, in order to protect Jamie. Which is probably why I was so harsh last night" replied Raya.

"You were just trying to look after Harry, so I forgive you" sighed Molly.
"You were also trying to protect Harry through" reminded Raya.
"Yes, but you and I just have different ideas when it comes to protecting the boy" admitted Molly.
"We do. You want to shield Harry from the truth, because you think it will keep him safe. But I want him to know all the facts, because not knowing the truth is what ripped my world apart. Keeping secrets from those close to me, is what got James and Lily killed, and Sirius imprisoned" Raya said quietly.

"You can't blame yourself for what happened, for it was not you keeping secrets from those in the Order. It was Peter Pettigrew who became a death eater and hid it from everyone" reminded Molly.
"Maybe. But when we changed the secret keeper, we hid it from Remus and Dumbledore. If we had told them the truth, Sirius wouldn't have gone to jail, and Peter wouldn't have been able to resurrect Voldemort" replied Raya.
"We can never know exactly what could have happened. Which is why we must look to the future now" insisted Molly.

"Yes, we must... I am glad that Harry has you in his life. And it pleases me that someone cares for him as much as me. But a small, selfish part of me wishes that he didn't treat you like a mother, because I want him to treat me like that, and no one else. Which is probably why I haven't been very nice to you since we were reunited. I should really be thanking you though. You have done a tremendous job looking after Harry as well as 7 of your own children. I can just about manage 2 children and 1 godchild. You really are very talented, and an amazing mother" complimented Raya.
"I didn't do it all by myself, I had Arthur by my side" blushed Molly.
"Not all the time. When he went to work, you were the one looking after the kids".

"You should give yourself some credit as well. After spending some time with Jamie, I can see that he is a wonderful young man. He is polite, honest, and intelligent. You did a good job raising him" praised Molly.
"Remus did most of it. I could never have looked after Jamie without my brother's help" admitted Raya.
"I'm sure you could've. You're a very strong woman. Jamie speaks very highly of you, and we all know that he doesn't lie" replied Molly.

"You don't have to hide your disappointment in me. I know that you don't approve of the way I have raised him. You don't think I should always tell him the truth, because he is too young to learn about the harsh world we live in" sighed Raya.
"While I may not use the same techniques as you, when raising my own children. I understand why you raised Jamie the way that you did. And he is delight to be around, so you must have done something right. He's not my son anyway, so it is not any of my business how you raised him" replied Molly.

Raya sighed and turned her back to Molly, "Jamie loves being around you and your family as well. You saw how he practically begged me to let him stay here last night".
"That has nothing to do with me. He wanted to stay here, because this is where his father is, and he wants to get to know Sirius better" reminded Molly.
"I thought that at first. But Sirius told me that Jamie doesn't spend that much time with him, when he's here without me. He prefers to be with you and your boys" revealed Raya, as she turned back around.
"I'm sure that's not true. I expect he just likes being around boys his own age, since he doesn't have brothers or many friends".

"I hoped that was the reason he wanted to be here so much. But now I'm starting to wonder if he likes the safety and structure that you and your family give him. He's never had that with me. Remus and I were always moving from job to job, and we were never able to give him the stability that he deserved. I also raised him in a rather unconventional way. So, I'm starting to think that my son wishes he were a part of your family instead. Being a Black makes him an outcast wherever he goes, so I understand why he might want to be a Weasley" admitted Raya sadly.
"That is simply not true" insisted Molly.
"You can't know that for certain" replied Raya.

"I may have tried to parent Harry, but that was only because he didn't have any decent guardians when I met him. But I have never tried to parent Jamie, because he already has a mother. And I would never even consider taking your place. If Jamie likes spending time with my sons, then that is because he wants brothers. He does not want a new mother. I for one haven't even spent any alone time with him. I only talk to him when the other boys are around. Your son loves you, and I know he would never want me as his mother... He would find me very strict" informed Molly.

Raya couldn't help but chuckle, "I expect you have a lot more rules than I do. For I let Jamie basically do whatever he wants".
"I keep a firm grasp on all of my children, even when they become adults" admitted Molly.
"Then maybe Jamie wouldn't prosper in your family" replied Raya.
"Have you spoken to Jamie about how you feel?" Asked Molly.
"No. Because if he is happy in someone elses family, then I don't want to be the one to stop his happiness. My own happiness does not matter more than his. Having children means putting their own needs before your own".

"Not always... Harry was rather desperate to join the Order last night, but you were adamant that he would join over your dead body. Something tells me that you were projecting your own dislike of the Order, onto him, instead of listening to what he wanted" Molly said slowly.
"You weren't in the Order last time, so you don't know what it was like. And during the war you were much older than I was. Me and my friends were just kids. We were too young to be getting involved. The things I saw, scarred me for life. And I want to protect Harry from going through the same things as me. Which is why I will not let him join the Order of the Phoenix" announced Raya.
"That is one thing we can whole heartedly agree on" smiled Molly.

"Yes... So, does this mean you forgive me for what I said yesterday?" Questioned Raya.
"Only if you forgive me" answered Molly.
"I do" informed Raya.
"Good. Then I forgive you too" replied Molly.
"Now that we are on speaking terms again, do you need any help with breakfast?"
"Yes thank you, that would be lovely. Afterall, there are many hungry mouths to feed"
"There certainly are... Do you have any plans after breakfast that I can help with?"
"I was going to get everyone together, so that we can get rid of the Doxys in the drawing room. You would be more than welcome to join us"
"Sounds like fun".