Mummy, not mother

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1961, September

In mid-September 1961 I realized that I had been in this period of time for quite long now. 24 hours... pfff, what a joke! I long ago had discarded the idea of ​​returning to my own time. The boy here needed me. His mother had died, his father was not very kind and apparently had no interest in ever marrying again. I would not change or break anything here, I would live my life and be happy.

Lucius and I had a good time everyday since mister Malfoy was rarely around. Most of the prohibitions that the head of the house had imposed on us were lifted the moment he crossed the threshold of the house and left the property. My protégé and I flew over the estate on my broomstick, chased the peacocks in the garden and swam in the lake behind the mansion. It was like paradise and the child didn't grow on me, it was already a part of my heart.

I did schoolwork with Lucius, taught him to write, how to do arithmetic, read, lots of geography and even French. In the morning we sat in his room at the desk and acquired knowledge that 30 years ago was necessary for a 7-year-old. The children of wealthy pureblood families didn't go to elementary school, they were homeschooled. Some halfbloods were sent to muggle schools of course, but that was out of question for mister Malfoy. As a pureblood wizard he didn't want to expose his offspring, his only son and bloodline sustainer, his heir, to the evil influence of mudbloods and muggles in any way. Yes, "mudbloods". That's exactly what he said when I once asked him if he wouldn't like to send Lucius to a real school so that he could have contact with other children. The word came so naturally from his lips that I actually was a little shocked.

"Is something wrong, miss Sterling?", the stern man asked me. "No, mister Malfoy. You're right, of course. The boy shouldn't have any contact with... that scum... under any circumstances." I had to somehow get out of this mess. I was a muggleborn witch myself, but mister Malfoy didn't know that. He had done some research on me of course but couldn't find much. Of course, my family didn't come from Ireland or Britain at all but from all over the world, a colorful mix of everything... during his research he came across a Sterling family in Sweden, purebloods of course, asked me if they were related to me and I quickly said yes. His dislike of muggleborns and muggles had become more and more apparent over the last few months. The word mudblood, which was a dreadful word for muggleborn witches and wizards, was found in his normal usage and he didn't mince his words with Lucius either. He kept telling the boy that only pureblooded witches and wizards were full members of society, that halfbloods and filthy mudbloods mostly came out of the gutter and in his opinion should stay there. Opinions that I didn't share but also definitely not want to argue about with mister Malfoy. I avoided the subject as much as possible.

It still bothered me that the kid had called me mummy that afternoon at the ice cream parlor, but he never did it again after. Did he want to lure me out of my reserve? No, Lucius is a dear boy, he would never have done that on purpose. A 7-year-old doesn't manipulate a grown woman, does he? He wouldn't look for my weak spot and exploit it, would he? No, not my little Lu. Not this sweet creature with the blond curls. It just slipped off his tongue, he didn't think much about it and since I didn't comment on it further it was probably no big deal for him at all. He probably didn't even really get it... it was just casual.

"Mummy, are you coming? The baby peacocks are hatching now!", a child's voice echoed through the huge garden and interrupted my thoughts. Mummy? Merlin! He did it again. I was still just thinking about the fact that what he had said in June was probably just a coincidence and then he said it again, this small but also quite meaningful big word. A warm feeling spread through my vains. My heart expanded to six times its size, small lightning bolts coursed through my body and a slight blush rose to my face. Shortly thereafter, a bad conscience spread through me. He wasn't allowed to call me mummy because I simply wasn't his mother and couldn't, didn't want to and wasn't allowed to replace her.

I ran over to the boy, grabbed his hand and wanted to start ranting. I'm not your mother, I wanted to say. You're going to get in real trouble with your father, I was about to say. How did you come up with such a stupid idea, I wanted to ask.

But the boy's big grey eyes and his happy smile hit me right in the heart. I couldn't be angry with him, he had lost his mother and I was the replacement, whether I could, wanted, was allowed or not. I swallowed quite loudly and my features softened again. I smiled at him and sat down next to him. How could I be mad at him? He only had me... Apparently there were no grandparents, aunts or uncles in this family who somehow felt obliged to visit the boy. He didn't have any friends either, his father literally isolated him from the rest of the world. For Lucius there was only his father, me and the house elves.

"Lu, I'm not your mother, you know that... right?" I asked him quietly while we were watching the peacocks hatching from their eggs. "Well, you are my mummy," he said confidently. The little peacock chicks struggled out of their eggshells, squeaked and the peacock mother lovingly took care of the little ones and freed them from the crumbs on their half-naked heads. "Your mother died, Lu... I'm just your na-", I started but a cheerful child's voice interrupted me. "Mother died, you can still be my mummy then."

It made sense and I left it at that.

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