from Time to Time | Lucius Malfoy

Possible but rare

1991

Two onyx eyes stared at me in disbelief. I moved around nervously in my chair. "You're not really trying to tell me that you... have traveled in time? Multiple times? With a necklace you... stole?" Severus stuttered to himself. He was paler than usual, although that's hard to imagine. "Sev, I...uhm...yes?" I somehow forced out.

I knew my story was a bit off and unusual even for the world we live in. What I dreaded more, however, were the questions that promptly followed: "You know Lucius? Wait... you knew Lucius as a kid? And you knew Abraxas? But... that can't be, right? But how... you... you were Lucius Malfoy's nanny? " - "Yes..." I stared at the floor. I couldn't meet his eyes. For months I had hidden from him that I already knew his best friend, not as a grown man but as a little boy. The whole thing is also a bit complicated since I'm much younger than Lucius nowadays. Today he should be in his late 30s I suppose, I'm only 26.

The gears in my future husband's head were turning. His thoughts were loud and hard to overhear... "It's not possible... how can that be? You never mentioned it...why? You're lying, admit it, you're lying!", he talked himself into a rage, jumped up and stomped across the room. I had the feeling he was close to madness.

"Severus, it is possible to travel through time. You know that as well as I do! It's just...rare." I said in a calm voice, hoping he would calm down now. He kept staring at me. "Thanks, I know that! I have a sneaking suspicion that your story takes a little longer and I'm really more than curious how you gonna explain the rest to me.", he spoke dangerously slow.

A single tear rolled down my cheek. I had lied to this man, withheld something from my past from him and he had of course reacted in this way. He was disappointed, angry and quite upset. Severus' range of emotions is usually quite small. There is joy, love, aversion, anger... but all these feelings are very close together and it requires great sensitivity to be able to interpret them. An emotional outburst like this is rare. And he wasn't even directly affected by the stupidity I'd committed over the past year. Well, it's been a year for me - but it's been around 30 years for Lucius... I can't imagine how he would react when the truth came out.

"It's complicated..." I started, but Severus' look was devastating. "Are you kidding me? Of course it's complicated! You're up to 26, he's 38, you were his nanny but sitting in front of me right now. Why didn't you ever say anything? I've known Lucius for 20 years, he's - you know what, just keep talking. I can't wait to hear how the story ends! Probably with a badly disturbed child. A trauma. A roller coaster of emotions, many tears and a... shitty childhood."

"What? Did he mention me?!" I stared at him. Had Lucius mentioned me? Well, probably not directly me but his nanny. "Of course. He's very happy that I'm marrying his nanny soon. Jesus, Cait! He doesn't know that you are... her! But yes, he mentioned you, well, her... several times. I can't believe it... how could you do something like that? How could you keep something like that from me? I have the feeling of not knowing you at all right now." I swallowed hard. He was right. Still, I figured it couldn't be that bad for Severus at this point... other than that, he wasn't even directly affected. He only knows what Lucius had told him... what did he probably tell? Does he remember everything? Did his father tell him a twisted story? His father... Abraxas...

"Abraxas-" I stared at my counterpart, my face  rather pale. Lucius' father wasn't a sympathetic figure but what I went through with this man was just horrific. Everything came as it had to come. "Dead." my fiancé replied, who had poured himself a glass of wine in the meantime. Thank Merlin, that cruel person is no more... A stone fell from my heart, so Lucius didn't have to go through hell and back when I left him. "He died of dragon pox last year. I'm still waiting for the rest of your story, would you go on then...?" he raised an eyebrow, sipped his glass of wine and did his waiting. Waiting for my answer. But I couldn't say anything, couldn't think, couldn't even breathe .He only died last year? Lucius had to endure him for... 30 years? Poor boy! My conscience set in and continued to oppress me...

"I... yes... of course... well...", I pulled myself together, took a deep breath and continued talking. After all, I had only served the first course of my story. It was a multi-course menu, not all courses would be after my counterpart's taste but he had to go through it now. I also just had to get it off my chest... I've been carrying the truck around with me for months now. It's not like I'd never gone back to had to think of little Lu. Little Lu...cius, who was now in his late 30s and had already started a family of his own. Something that was yet to come for me. Hopefully. But maybe with the rest of my story I would also have all prospects on ruining a perfect future with my great love.

"Promise me you won't run away. Listen to everything until the end. And then help me. Because I'm a bit scared of what will come... when we... meet him today." I stared at Severus for. I had no idea how to look Lucius in the eyes today. He almost certainly wouldn't realize me since he was still a child back then... but it was still a tricky situation that I couldn't get out of my own. I needed support. "I won't let you down," came dryly from the chair across from me. Severus leaned back and motioned for me to continue.

I nodded.

He couldn't run away.

Neither could I...