Mafia's Desire

25

Ermanno sat down next to me on his porch swing that had a perfect view of the small koi pond in the backyard.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked as I placed the book I was reading down at my side.

"Yes, actually. We are getting married in two days, so what will the living arrangement be?"

Hmm, of everything I'd thought about regarding Michael, Violet, and my new relationship with Ermanno, I hadn't considered the housing arrangement. We each had our own homes.

I thought for a moment before responding. I wanted to live with Ermanno and I loved falling asleep at his side every night, but there was something within me that needed to stay in the apartment until the lease was up. I had found it on my own, rented it on my own, and made it my own. I needed to see it through, just to prove to myself that I could. That I could do this all without my ex-husband.

"I want to live in the apartment until my lease is expired," I said softly, hoping to not offend him. I wasn't afraid to express my opinions like I was with Michael, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings by telling him I wasn't moving into his house even though he'd essentially rescued me with an offer of marriage.

"Okay," he said, not sounding offended at all. "Can I stay there with you?"

"Well, of course, you can," I said with a nod. "But this is your home. Why would you want to leave it?" Especially for an apartment. I didn't think my home was ugly or unkempt, but it was an older building in a small town, and only had two bedrooms and one bathroom. The kitchen and living room were small. It was all very much a downgrade from his beautiful home.

"I want to be with you and Violet. I understand why you want to stay in your apartment, and I respect that, but I want to be with you. I'm keeping the house and we can move back in when your lease is up."

****

I gripped Eloise's arm in mine as she walked me down the aisle, toward the man who would become my husband in mere moments.

My breathing quickened when I saw him. He wore all black. His pants, his suit jacket, his undershirt, and even the bow tie he wore were all black. He looked dangerously handsome as he watched me walk closer to him.

My heart was erratic. I was nervous I had to admit. I loved him deeply and wholly, but I wasn't sure how he felt about me. I hoped that he would be able to love me eventually. I didn't want him to resent me one day for not being a woman he could love.

But I knew I was making the right decision. He made me feel alive, like a living breathing being capable of emotions, capable of feeling both pain and love. He made me feel seen and heard, like my experiences and my opinions were valid. He made me feel like me.

He was the man I wanted, the one I deserved, and I would never love another. I just hoped he felt the same about me.

When we reached the end of the makeshift aisle Eloise had made out of flower petals, she pressed a kiss to my cheek and turned to sit next to her husband and baby, the only guests we had in attendance. I stood in front of Ermanno. Our hands were entwined and Dorthy stood to the side of us.

My white dress tickled my ankles as a burst of wind tumbled through the yard. The black suit Ermanno wore fit him handsomely, perfectly accentuating his masculine body. I was so excited as I stood in front of him, just moments from becoming his wife.