No Winter Lasts Forever

Chapter Sixteen

"Come on, we've gotta get downstairs to Shuri's lab," Willow said gently to James as she slipped on her shoes. "I know you're nervous, but I promise, I'm going to be right there."

James grumbled. It was a few days after New Years and he was not looking forward to his session with Shuri. "I don't want to relive everything I've done again," he said quietly.

Exhaling softly, she made her way over to him and found his eyes. "Not what you've done, James. What he did," she reminded him, raising her hand to lightly run her fingers through his hair. "I know it's painful, and I'm so sorry for that..."

He shook his head, tears burning at his eyes. "I did it," he whispered. "He is me."

Her heart broke as she looked at those tears and heard his words. Suddenly she wasn't sure who she was for a moment... was she his therapist or his... girlfriend, for lack of a better word. Being both things at the same time would take some getting used to. "No, James. He looks like you, but he isn't you." She needed to stay steady for him. "Who are you?" she asked as she held his eyes.

"Bucky Barnes," he answered quietly. "James Buchanan Barnes."

"Exactly," she insisted with a soft smile. "You're James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky. And you didn't do any of those things."

He let out a shaky breath as a tear escaped and ran down his cheek. "I remember though. I remember it all."

"I know, baby, I know," she empathized, settling onto her knees in front of him. She placed her hands on either side of his face and she pressed her forehead against his. "You're not carrying it alone, okay. I'm right here."

"Will you stay with me?" He whispered. "Please?"

Willow nodded emphatically. "Of course I'll stay," she assured him, swallowing hard to keep her own tears from falling. "I'll hold your hand, I'll sit with you, I'll... anywhere you need me, I'll be there."

James sniffled before leaning in to steal a chaste kiss. "Thank you, Will. We can go now."

She offered him a warm smile and nodded. "Okay," she agreed, getting up off of her knees. She took James's hand securely, covering their hands with her free one. She had him. "Steve will be there too. You have a whole crew of people."

He nodded as he stood and let her lead him out of the bedroom then out into the hall. "I just don't want to hurt anyone."

"You won't," she assured him. "There will be enough precautions in place that you won't. And I know for a fact that you wouldn't hurt me."

James sighed softly as they continued to walk towards Shuri's lab. "I'm just worried."

"I know. I can't take that away... I wish I could," she offered quietly. "But we all care about you. We want you to be able to be really, really free."

He nodded as they reached the double doors to Shuri's lab, his eyes filled with worry about what would happen. James steeled himself before following Willow inside, seeing that Steve was waiting for them, along with Shuri.

Steve and Shuri both stood up straighter as the doors opened and they each offered Willow a soft smile before Steve took a few steps towards his friend. "How you feeling?" he asked, knowing it was a silly question but what else was he supposed to say? "I promise... I won't let you hurt anyone." He knew that's what part of Bucky's concern was.

Bucky sighed and shrugged, an answer not coming to mind. "I just want this to be done with. I want to be free."

Steve set his hand on his friend's shoulder. "We want that for you too."