Close Yet Apart

Chapter 18

This chapter is dedicated to DreLeonWrites Thank you for your support Dre.

Third Person's POV
Monday (4th of June)

Hazel is on her way to the hospital for her appointment with Doc Eliza. She's getting a lot better and hopefully she'll be able to go back to school soon. Her dad drops her off at Doc Eliza's office—which she enters after receiving the 'come in' signal.

"Good morning sunshine. How are you?", Doc Eliza says with a smile and motions for Hazel to sit on the check up hospital bed.

"Good morning Doc Eliza. I'm good thanks", Hazel replies with a small smile and Doc Eliza nods in response.

"Okay sunshine. I'm just going to do the routine check up".

                              ....

Doc Eliza does the necessary check up procedures and then clears Hazel free to go back to school.

"Don't stress yourself out. Avoid honey at all costs. Don't apply so much pressure on your throat or vocal cords. Take care of yourself well", Doc Eliza emphasizes and Hazel nods.

"Okay Doc", Hazel replies with Doc Eliza smiles in response.

"Sunshine, please be truthful with me okay?", Doc Eliza says softly and Hazel nods slowly.

"How are you actually feeling? And I don't mean how you feel with the treatment and all. I mean how you feel mentally and emotionally? ", Doc Eliza says and Hazel sighs.

She hates people asking these questions. She hates being asked about her mental and emotional health. She hates therapy. She hates hospitals. But she has no choice but to bear with it.

She doesn't even know how she feels. Whether she is okay or not, she has no clue. She is used to pretending and acting as if she is okay to the point that, she doesn't even know how she feels anymore.

"Sunshine, what's wrong?", Doc Eliza asks and Hazel muffles down her tears. She doesn't even know when or why she started crying.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't understand how I feel. It feels like ever since Tyler and the guys started bullying me, I stopped living from within me. I've always pretended to be okay and fine that I forgot how I really felt. I feel like I'm close to people yet apart from them. I don't expect you to understand", Hazel explains while crying and Doc Eliza is holding back her own tears.

She has known Hazel ever since she was a little girl. But she doesn't know that her life has been affected to this extent. Hazel is right when she said that she couldn't understand but looking at Hazel makes her want to understand. It makes her want to know how broken she is and what she could do to mend those broken pieces but she knows deep down that she couldn't mend her broken pieces. No one could. Hazel will have to cherish them because she's broken but it's beautiful. Her perfection are in the seemingly 'imperfections'.

"I'm just broken beyond repair. No one can ever love me. I'm not loved. I can not love anyone. I can't live again. I just can't. I'm a waste of space. I'm the cause of grief and sadness every time. Life is just too beautiful for me to be in it", Hazel continues while sobbing and that causes Doc Eliza to snap.

"Don't say that. You might be broken but you're perfect that way. Your 'imperfections'  are what makes you unique. They are what makes you, you. You're loved by everyone around you. You're capable of loving people. You're not a waste of space neither do you bring grief or sadness. Life is beautiful because you are in it. Your parents love you. Your brother loves you. Your friends love you. My husband and son love you. I love you. You just have to love you", Doc Eliza says softly as Hazel sobs on her shoulder while she runs her hand through her hair softly.