The Feeling's Mutual | JJK

Old Habits Die Hard

Jungkook stayed quiet as he let go of your other wrist and sat back on his heels. Then, with a heavy sigh, he ran his fingers through his long, black hair.

Still trapped beneath his weight, you looked up at the ceiling to avoid meeting his eyes. "If there was anyone to hate now, it'd be me."

He shook his head. "Why would it be you?"

"Because I know you didn't like hearing that."

"Y/N," Jungkook began, "you could call me every name in the book, say the vilest shit known to man, and smother me in my sleep, and I still wouldn't hate you."

You exhaled a short laugh. "I doubt that."

"It's true," he maintained. "I...care about you, Y/N. A lot more than you might think. And it may seem like I'm only concerned with me, myself, and I, but growing up, who else did I have?" Jungkook shrugged one shoulder. "I guess I never got out of that mindset even when people who genuinely care about me came into my life."

"Old habits die hard."

"Indeed they do," he accorded.

"Nobody's perfect though. We all have habits we could try changing."

"What could you possibly need to change?" Jungkook asked. "There's nothing bad about you."

You scoffed. "Yeah, okay."

"No, I'm serious."

"Really? Because a few months ago, you'd say everything about me was bad."

"Well, you were a lot more irritating back then," he disclosed. "But, anyway, what's the habit you'd wanna change?"

"If I had to pick, it'd probably be my big mouth," you stated. "Thanks for pointing that out, by the way."

Jungkook laughed. "Being a big mouth isn't always a bad thing."

"It could've gotten me shot today."

"No, Jiho would've been dead before he even had a chance to switch the safety off."

You snickered. "Right, I almost forgot you have a gun in your waistband."

"That's why I couldn't let you hit me anymore," he revealed. "I never keep the safety on."

"You're kinda dumb for that," you jeered.

Jungkook disagreed. "You saw what happened today. In this business, you need to be ready at the drop of a hat."

"Ready to kill someone?"

Reluctantly, he nodded.

After thinking it over for a bit, you decided to ask him the question, "Do you think you could ever do that? Take a life, I mean."

Jungkook peered out the window while contemplating his answer. Nearly a minute passed before he felt that he could give you one. "I think it all depends."

"On?"

"On who I was doing it for," he responded. "Like, today, if Jiho would've tried hurting you, I wouldn't have hesitated to take his life—I wouldn't hesitate because I was doing it for you." Jungkook stopped looking out the window to look at you instead. "I know you don't need me to protect you, but I want you to need me to." Aware you might pull away again, he took his chances anyway and tucked some hair behind your ear. "I need to protect you, Y/N. So, please, let me."

"Why do you need to, Jungkook?"

"Because..." his words trailed off as tears began to well in his eyes. "...B-Because I wasn't there to protect my mom on the night she was murdered."

Your heart instantly dropped to your stomach.

The morning after Jungkook's mother passed away, Yoongi told you that she had died in a car accident. And it was just that—an accident. She had fallen asleep behind the wheel.

You remembered hearing Jungkook's cries of pain over the next couple of days while your brother did everything in his power to soothe him. Yoongi's attempts were fruitless, though. The wailing would only cease when Jungkook finally passed out from exhaustion.

You remembered the funeral, too, and how few people showed up to mourn her loss. It was only the three of you, Jiseok, and a woman whom you didn't know at the time. However, now that you were looking back on it, you realized why Hayoon had looked so familiar.

She was the sobbing stranger.

"Kook," you breathed.

Jungkook tilted his head back, trying to prevent the tears from falling.

"I'm so sorry," you whispered.

"You don't need to apologize. You weren't the one who pulled the trigger," he imparted.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that though. Nobody should have to experience that kind of tragedy."

"But people do," Jungkook notified. "It's not uncommon in this business."

"That doesn't mean you're not allowed to be angry about this," you apprised.

"I've been angry for the past four years," he divulged. "Especially since there hasn't been any justice."

"The police never caught the person?"

Jungkook shook his head. "They claimed there weren't any leads, so the case went cold. But, personally, I believe they were bribed."

"After everything you've told me recently, I wouldn't be surprised."

"It doesn't matter, though, because I decided to take matters into my own hands a long time ago."

Your heart, still in the pit of your stomach, began beating at an erratic pace. "What do you mean by that?"

"I'm saying when I find whoever did this to her," Jungkook explained, "it'll be an eye for an eye."

[AN] Thank you for your continued patience on this story. I'm hoping to be a little more active during winter break :)