Tales Of Teens

• Choice •

By Maanvi Bhagat maanvibhagat

25th August 2020,

It's been around a month since my tenth result was declared. And I won't say that I'm not happy about the result because that's definitely not true. It's just that even though my result was not perfect, it is something I've earned because of my own efforts. Still I can say that I'm a bit disheartened because even though my result is self-satisfactory it wasn't enough for me to get a chance to be in my dream college. 

I wanted to be a journalist, because I've always loved the field. Even though I've been a nerd all my life, I've still been cheerful and outspoken, always ready to put up my views. And not getting a chance in my dream college has taken away this opportunity from me because my parents aren't ready to let me be in the other college that I'd applied to. And if I'm being honest to myself at least, they are right. I won't get the opportunity to shine like I wanted if I decided to pursue my career there. I'm just feeling depressed at this point and I don't know what to do.

31st August, 2020,

I was thinking about waiting for the second round of results in Arts College but after seeing the cut-off from the first round, I knew I won't get admission since the difference was four percent and that's a huge difference.

And maybe that's why my parents tried to convince me to change my stream almost totally. I'm angry,really angry. They aren't the ones who are going to study the subjects in my computer science diploma, I'm the one whose going to do it. And suddenly changing my goal like this, isn't easy for me. But even I know very well that I do love programming and… there are more opportunities in this field. I'm trying to put up a fight but it seems like It's of no use and my fate has been decided.

15th January, 2021

My life is going so so hectic. I never expected being a student of diploma in computer science so I know about none of the subjects and the pressure is seriously bad. On top of that, I've still got a few responsibilities at home where I'm helping my mum sometimes, teaching my younger brother some subjects whenever he needs, etc.

Still I'm trying my best to keep going. Learning from online classes is extremely difficult because nothing goes in my head but maybe, just maybe the situation will improve slowly and steadily. At least that's what I'm expecting.

8th August, 2021

Life is moving as if I'm running a race and the computer field is vast. And I won't say that I don't like the subjects because I do. I'm slowly falling in love with the subjects one by one. Though my scores have gone down drastically this year. And that's scary, at least for me.

My parents have been scolding me about this as well. So, I decided to join extra classes for the second year. And because of it, I'm busy almost all the time. I have college lectures from 9am to 4.30pm and morning classes from 7am to 9am. Sometimes, I even have extra lectures scheduled from 5pm to 7pm and that's so freaking exhausting. But hey! I'm learning new things, and that's what matters at this point in my life. At least that's what I believe.

20th January, 2022

Finally, offline classes have begun. It's been a month or so since I'm attending college as well as extra classes, running from here to there to manage my time and to learn more. Still I'm happy with how it's going with new friends and a smile always on my face.

Teachers are sometimes frustrated with my questions, maybe because I'm an extremely curious student so mostly it's a boon for me. Even some teachers have encouraged this fact, that if you ask questions only then you can learn more than just bookish theories. And it's extremely nice. Especially all the practicals that I've been performing. 

Finally I've got some goals in life, I want to code, I want to design/ plan the map for software development and I want to start freelancing for all of it soon. I want to explore different fields in this stream as much as possible.

Maybe I came to this field because of my parents, because of my fate and I didn't exactly get a choice. Maybe I'll still face struggles and many setbacks. But my fate did give me a new destination for my life today.