Love Series #4: Something Called Love | Min Yoongi

Part 19: Confusion

As she returned to the bedroom, she didn't find Yoongi there. She thought that he left to sleep in his room. She went over to close the door when Yoongi appeared at the threshold, he was holding a box in his hands.

He looked at her with confused expressions as she seemed to be blocking his way. Her sudden change of attitude perplexed him.

"Let's end this." She said, as she still held the door and blocked his way.

"What do you mean?" His eyes grazed her face intently, he tried to read her actual thoughts.

"You deserve so much better, Min Yoongi." She said and thought to herself that she should have taken two pills instead of one, as it didn't seem to be helping her.

"I already have what I deserve! So can you not worry about that and trust this relationship, for once?" He reached out to hold her hand in his but she drew it away.

"We are different people, Min Yoongi! We do not belong with each other."

She tried to close the door but he stopped her. He stepped inside the room and took her hands in his, then brought her with him to sit by his side on the bed. He silently put the box aside.

"So what, if we're different? How does that mean that we don't belong with each other?" He faced her and using both his hands tucked her hair strands behind her ears.

"Now that I have gotten glimpses of it, your world is so different from mine. You have genuine trusting friends and you have the love of your fans. I can not add to this love, Min Yoongi." She looked at her hands resting in her lap.

Seoyun paused for a minute and then looked up in his eyes.

"I can only hate and be toxic. I mean I am not capable of fine things. I am only capable of struggle, and am sorry that you got caught in this. Leave me, Min Yoongi. Let go of me, I am not capable of all this. Am not capable of making a loving home for you."

She tried to get up but he stopped her.

"Then let's do it together." He calmly said.

"Do what together?"

"Build this relationship, even if we have to start from scratch." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "What has gotten into you suddenly, I thought we were going fine these past month or so?" He asked.

"I thought so too, but I can only be fine when.. It has taken a toll on me now. I can not fake it anymore, Min Yoongi."

"Please share with me what all is troubling you? What's taken a toll on you? We can do this Seoyun, I don't want this to end." He pleaded.

"We can not make it work, we will fall back to being what we were. I feel scared of it, that anytime we will go back to being what we were." Tears rolled down her eyes that she rubbed away fiercely.

"We will not, trust me, my dear wife." He held her hands.

"We will!" She had made a decision, "And it's because of me, I can't co-depend on you for everything. I can not be friends with your friends, I can not burden you for my own happiness, for my entertainment, etc."

Yoongi entwined his fingers in hers and asked, "Why are you so harsh on yourself?"

Seoyun drew back from him and looked in his eyes.'I don't want to make it difficult for you. You don't have to sort my problems. You already have such a hectic life, I will not burden you with my presence.'

"What are you thinking about? Tell me." He asked softly. "Why don't you share with me?"

"I have clinical depression. I am not myself when I am off my medicines. I am not the person to be with when I am not on my medications. That's what I see him, the psychiatrist, about. You did not ask me earlier for any explanation, besides.."