Edge of Chaos | Dad's best friend | 20 Squad BOOK #1

Twelve | Mya

I place my wine on the table before sitting down on the couch.

"I'm gonna go check on Victoria." Deacon tells me. We put her down for bed twenty minutes ago but I understand wanting to check on her before we get lost into the movie.

"Can you bring me a blanket daddy?" Lilah asks.

"Sure thing sweetheart." Deacon reassures her before he sets his wine glass next to mine then heads out the living room.

He's gone less than five minutes and when he returns I have Frozen on Disney+ ready to play and he has a blanket in his hands. Deacon gives Lilah the blanket before sitting down next to me, the warmth of his body immediately sending shivers down mine.

"You okay?" Deacon turns to me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I smile sweetly. We still haven't had a chance to talk about Deacon admitting he's attracted to me. He told me it wasn't all in my head but where does that leave us?

I picked up the remote and pressed play. The beginning credits rolled, and Deacon and I sipped our wine and watched the movie while Lilah munched on popcorn and slurped her apple juice. Half way through, Lilah realized she was watching the movie without her Elsa and Anna dolls and raced upstairs to find them so we had to pause the movie.

"Would you like another glass?" Deacon motions to my empty glass of wine.

I hesitate. I'm a bit of a lightweight. I didn't want to start acting all giggly and flirty. But I was so tense with Deacon sitting next to me that a second glass would help me relax. I nod my head. "Sure."

"Thank God," Deacon stands up from the couch and I stand up up too, following him back into the kitchen. "I thought you were going to say no and make me feel like a bad influence."

"You could never be a bad influence Deacon." I laugh.

"I'm not so sure of that." He opens the fridge and pull out the bottle of wine. "I have no idea how I survived this last year without Annie."

"You're one of the strongest people I know Deacon."

"Some days I think I'm pretty good at this dad stuff, other days I think I'm a complete screw up and the rest of the days I'm thinking I should've been the one to go, not Annie."

His confession startles me and his vulnerability tugs at my heart. I put my hand over his. "The girls would not be better off without you. You're an amazing dad Deacon. I don't know what it's like to lose the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with suddenly and be a single parent, but I do know that you give and show those girls the love of two parents every single day."

"You think so?"

"Of course. I look at my parents and grandparents and think about the love I've been exposed to my entire life. And that's what I hold on to. They're never gonna stopping missing Annie, but they're also never not going to know what it feels like to be so abundantly loved."

Deacon stared at me in awe. "You're an amazing woman."

"And you're an amazing man." I reassure him.

I watch as Deacon steps closer to me until I can feel the rise and fall of his chest against my own chest. He locks me in with his gaze before leaning in.

"Look daddy! I got Olaf too!" Lilah's voice causes us to jump apart.

I spin around to face Lilah who now has Elsa, Anna and Olaf in her hands. She holds out the snowman for Deacon to take.

"Let me see him," Deacon reaches out and studies the stuffed snowman before making it turn to face his daughter. "Hi, I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs." He says in a high pitched voice that makes Lilah giggle.

I can't help but smile. This is the side of Deacon only special people get to see. One side of him is this fearless badass S.W.A.T Sargent who chases down bad men with guns, handles hostages situations, walk into bomb infused building then comes home and sings Old McDonald Had a farm to his one year old daughter and watch princess movies with his six year old.

It was hot.

Lilah runs off towards the living room again and Deacon and I follow behind her, taking up our same spots on the couch before I press play.

Ten minutes into the movie, my body starts to cramp from being in the same position for too long and I squirm, wishing I had more room to stretch my legs.

"You okay?" Deacon turns his head towards me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just trying to get comfortable." I say.

"Go ahead and lay down, it's fine." Deacon tells me. I do as he says and lay down on the couch, only stretching my feet as much as it can go and also giving Deacon some space.

Deacon chuckles lightly before lifting my feet by my ankles and surprising the hell out of me when he places my feet on his lap.

I look at him but he doesn't meet my gaze. Instead, he ignores me and continues to watch the movie.