𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 // ʏᴇᴏɴɢʏᴜ (ᴅɪsᴄᴏɴᴛɪɴᴜᴇᴅ)

⑧

×3rd person pov×

×tw, body shaming self (?)~

yeonjuns stomach growled violently, but he ignored it. he sat in his room, his face red and his eyes puffy.

slowly standing up, he walked over to his body length mirror and stared at his appearance.

the sight of him brought tears to his eyes again.

pulling his shirt back some to tightening the fabric around the curves of his body. he instantly frowned.

turning to the side, he saw the slight pudge that could be seen from behind his shirt. he exhaled shakily and couldn't seem to take his eyes off it.

he forced himself to let go of the shirt, he sat down, examining his face in the mirror.

tracing his face with his fingertips, they went from his lips, to his eyes, to his cheeks.

"im too fat.."

yeonjun whispered to himself, his voice hardly audible. he pinched his cheeks and pulled them out some, feeling the squishiness of it.

letting go, his cheeks reminded a slight pink from where he was holding them. his eyes traveled up to his short black hair. (I know I love you era)

he ruffled his hair and frowned when it didn't fall in front of his face like beomgyus had done.

his hands went to his ears and he traced every bit of them, not liking the way they stuck out.

and without realizing it, he was crying.

~

beomgyu sat on his bathroom floor, gnawing on his nails as his mind traveled all over the place.

his mind went to yeonjun and his mood turned sour upon thinking of him. rolling his eyes, he stood up and caught a glance of himself in the mirror.

why did he even hate yeonjun?

he asked himself this question many times a week, not having an answer.

perhaps it was because looked like a painting. perfect.

perhaps it was the way he spoke to the people around him.

his eyes traveled all around his features, to his hands, neck, jawline, eyes, nose, lips.

why couldn't he look like yeonjun?

he huffed angerly and exited the bathroom, his eyebrows furrowed together in annoyance.

"oh gyu!"

he heard his mother painfully cheerful voice and turned around slowly, forcing a smile on his lips.

"im leaving tomorrow, I won't be here when you wake up."

she said and pulled him into a long and tight hug. beomgyu hugged her back just as tightly, breathing in her scent.

"I love you little bear~"

she kissed the top of his head and looked into his eyes, trying to savor her last moments with her son before she wouldn't see him for awhile.

"I love you too mom."

beomgyu smiled at her and hugged her again, smiling brightly.

"tae can come over whenever he wants, of course you know that, umm, I just went shopping so you should have plenty of food for a little then you can go shopping too-"

she rambled on, listing the things off on her fingers.

"mom, I got it. don't worry about me! I love you and stay safe."

beomgyu reassured her and she nodded, hugging her son one last time.

"call me whenever you can."

beomgyu called as his mom walked to her room. she threw him a thumbs up and closed her door.

beomgyus smile dropped and he let his body slump, his shoulder drooping. sighing, he headed up into his room, closing the door behind him.

he sat down on his bed and pushed his hands through his hair, feeling disgusting in his own skin.

falling back, he hit his bed and his hands fell limply on his chest. he sighed and stared at his white ceiling, his mind blank.

~

yeonjun laid in his bed, plushies and squish mallows all around him. he cuddled his bear plush close to him, feeling comfort in it.

"I hate him."

-

"I hate him."

-

yeonjun and beomgyu said at the same time, unknowing that the other had said it. yeonjun chuckled emotionlessly and with a sick thought, he brought his hands up to his jawline, feeling the puffiness that never seemed to go away.

he poked and prodded at it, feeling overwhelmingly sad and frustrated.

"god why are you so fat?!"

yeonjun yelled at himself, sitting up abruptly. his stomach gurgled and growled in complaint, but there was no way yeonjun was going to eat.

"shut the h.ll up."

he mumbled to his stomach, clutching his plush to comfort himself. he stood up, instantly having to sit back down when dizziness passed his vision.

he felt nauseous, his head spinning.

suddenly, his phone starting ringing and he practically jumped out of his skin, fumbling to find it.

his room seemed to cave in on him and made it hard to breathe, his hands trembling.

he shakily answered the phone, staring quiet.

"yeonjun! hii!"

soobins cheerful voice flooded the speaker, causing yeonjun to take it away from his ear.

"h-hey."

yeonjun mumbled, rubbing his cheeks tiredly after he set the phone down on his bed, putting it on speaker phone.

"you sound like you've been crying.."

soobins voice portrayed worry.

yeonjun panicked, clearing his throat quickly. soobin listened as the older sniffed, and then a rustling sound.

"I do? oh, heh, yeah I was watching 'the fault in our stars' I cried."

yeonjun quickly covered, pressing his face into the pillow to sniff. soobin hummed and yeonjun sighed in relief.

"do you wanna go somewhere for coffee?"

soobin suddenly asked and yeonjun liked the idea of getting his mind off his body. he quickly hummed in agreement and they hung up.

he decided on a huge oversized hoodie that covered his stomach so that the small pudge wasn't noticable.

the hoodie came down below his hands, covering just his fingertips.

he slipped on sweatpants and headed out his house, phone in hand. he texted soobin and got the address of the shop, stuffing his phone away.

~

writing yeonjun made me sad