Yours - A Nick and Charlie Story

Chapter 17: Charlie

I picked up the scissors.

"Do you see what's on these Mum?"

I take a second to stare down at the scissors. Seeing my own blood on them was surreal. I can't believe I actually relapsed. I quickly snap out of it, I'll deal with the consequences of my actions later.

"Do you see Mum?" I pause, "Does it look real now?"

"Charlie I-," she pauses, "Why did you do this?"

Anger immediately courses through my veins, "You know what Mum, fuck this. I'm leaving."

I grab a bag and begin throwing my things in it. My mum comes up behind me.

"Charlie, where do you think you're gonna go? You're not leaving, you're being ridiculous."

"Oh, I'M being ridiculous? You're the one who just threw Nick off my bed after not letting him see me while I was having a mental breakdown, and then proceeded to blame me for cutting myself. I don't know where I'm going, but anywhere is better than here!"

Nick finally chimes in, "He can stay at my house."

I look over at Nick and smile.

"Like hell he is!" mom yells, "If you take him to your house, I'll call the police and tell them your mum kidnapped him."

"Do that and I'll call the police and tell them you assaulted a minor," I say gesturing to Nick's shoulder.

She looked at me like I just betrayed her, but you know what? She betrayed me. She's never taken my mental health seriously. Never. I can't work on myself when I'm constantly trying to defend my illness to my mum. I can't work on myself when my problems are constantly being invalidated. I can't work on myself when I'm constantly having food shoved down my throat. I grab Nick's hand along with my bag, and walk out of my room. My mom says something, but I don't bother listening. I pull on Nick's hand, and we walk out of my room to the stairs. I take a step but I get dizzy. Right. I haven't eaten in two days.

"Let's take it slow." Nick says supporting my lower back with his uninjured arm.

Nick calls his mom to come pick us up. He knows I can't make the walk back to his house. His mom pulls up to the curb, and motions for us to go quickly into the car.

"I don't need to know everything. I will respect whatever you want to keep to yourselves, but I at least need to know something." She says looking back at us.

Neither of us wants to be the first one to talk, but Nick speaks up.

"Charlie's mom lost her mind and wouldn't let me see Charlie. Charlie was a having a bad few days, so I snuck over to see him. Charlie's mom caught us and pushed me off the bed. Charlie is gonna stay with us for a little bit because he doesn't feel safe at home."

Nick's mum paused to think about how to respond, "Charlie are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I respond.

"Ok," she says, clenching her jaw and squeezing the steering wheel.

Nick looks worried.

"Mom, I'm sorry it's all my-"

"No baby, nothing is your fault. You either Charlie. You boys have done nothing wrong in my eyes."

The car ride home is quiet. When we get into the house, Sarah pulls me into a hug.

"I'll leave some toast and jam out on the table. I know it's one of your safe foods."

Normally after an episode like this the thought of food quite literally would send me off the deep end, but when she says those words to me it doesn't seem quite so scary.