Yours - A Nick and Charlie Story

Chapter 10: Nick

Charlie Spring is going to be the death of me. I kiss him again and he grabs my shirt in his fists and I all of the sudden become very very aware of everything. I'm kissing Charlie Spring, my best friend, when a month ago, I thought I was straight. Shit shit shit why am I freaking out? I want this. I really want this.

"Nick?"

Shit shit shit shit shit. I noticed I've stopped and was just staring. Shit shit shit. I want to do this, I want to be with Charlie. I don't know why I'm freaking out right now of all times.

"Nick?" Charlie says again. This snaps me out of my thoughts and brings me back to reality. I fall onto Charlie and just start sobbing.

"I'm s-sorry, I-I don't know why I'm b-being like this."

"Hey hey, shhh, it's ok. Just breathe for me, ok?"

I'm not sure how I can breathe, I don't even know if I remember how to breathe. I don't understand what's going on with me. This has never happened. I hate this feeling. I just want it to stop.

"Nick, you've got to breathe love."

He sits up and I sit up with him. He puts his hand on my chest, and mine on his. I can feel his heartbeat and I try to focus on that. My heart is racing, and I'm still struggling to catch my breath.

"Charlie, please d-don't think th-this is your fault pl-please." I try to say.

"Shhh, just breathe Nick," He smiles at me, "it's ok."

"But what if it's not ok?" I say. "I don't know what's happening, or what I'm feeling, but I know I want to be with you. I'm just, I'm just scared."

"Nick listen to me," he grabs my face in his hands, "It's ok to be scared. This is all new for you, and it's not something that will click in your mind overnight. It's going to take time, but I am here with you every step of the way. I promise you, we will figure this out, together."

"Together," I say, finally being able to catch my breath. I notice the throbbing in my head has come back. Worse this time. Shit. I just ruined everything.

"Can we just lay back down?" I ask.

"Is it your head again?" Charlie asks, already pulling the covers up over me.

"Yeah."

"Well I got just the thing." He says. He grabs from the bedside table a bag of frozen peas.

I let out a small laugh. He places it on my head and turns off the lamp so that it's not so bright.

"Charlie?" I ask.

"Yes Nick?"

"Thank you."

Charlie kisses me on the forehead and pulls me onto his chest. The last thing I remember is falling asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. All of those times I was there for Charlie, have all led up to this moment right here. I never try to express my emotions because I don't feel like they are as important. I mean what have I been through that's so bad. I've been popular since middle school and have always had friends. However, in this moment when I was at my lowest, the one person I was there for was there for me.

—------time skip—--------

Charlie was lacing up his Converse to head home.

"Sorry I messed up our makeout session earlier," I laugh.

"Oh don't worry, there will be plenty more where that came from."

He stood up and I must've looked like a tomato because Charlie decided to mess with me more.

"Oh my god, did I make Nick Nelson blush?"

"Shut up!" I yell and we both just laugh.

"Are you going to be okay tonight?" He asks. I can tell he's dropped his sarcastic tone, and is being genuine.

"Yeah," I smile, "I'll be okay."

Charlie smiles back at me and then pulls me into a hug. I wrap my arms around him and hold him like I never want to let go, which I don't. I was holding the entire world in my arms. Well at least my world. Charlie releases me, much to my dismay.

"What's wrong?"

I must've been frowning. I hug Charlie again and put my head on his shoulder.

"I just didn't want to let go."

We just stood there for a few minutes until Charlie's phone buzzed and we both knew it was his mom. He was about to start speaking, but I beat him to it.

"I know you've got to go, it's okay. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Of course," he smiled at me.

Charlie turned to walk out my door but I pulled him back and kissed him. I love him so much.

"Goodnight Charlie."

"Goodnight Nick."