Yours - A Nick and Charlie Story

Chapter 15: Charlie

Nick goes to grab his phone while still holding onto my waist. It was weird for us to both be getting this amount of notifications all at once. I had no idea what it could've been until the video on Nick's phone started playing. Nick lets go of me and now has both hands glued to his phone. I can see the events of today flooding back into his memory, and it was like looking at a ghost almost. I grab his face and turn it towards me, the video still playing.

"Hey, hey, look at me, ok? Don't focus on that right now. Just look at me and breathe."

Then I hear my voice on the video. The ripping of the paper.

"WHO THE FUCK DID THIS!?"

Then I hear,

"I SAID, WHO THE FUCK, PUT THIS SHIT UP?"

It really got worse from there, the things I said to Harry I meant, but that didn't mean I wanted the whole world to see. I was never the type to say shit like that, but it was for Nick. Somehow I had pushed this whole situation behind me too. I wanted to because Nick needed me to be there for him. I can feel him shaking, but it wasn't just him, it was me as well. I look up at Nick and he's looking at me, tears in his eyes. Shit, I must have messed up.

"Nick, I-"

I'm cut off by him engulfing me in a hug. I freeze for a second, but quickly melt into it, snaking my arms around his back.

"You know, when you were saying all those things, I couldn't hear you," Nick says, "I was completely out of it."

I remember the stillness that overtook his body.

"And all I saw was red." I say, almost a bit ashamed. The Charlie that said all those things was a very different person. Nick could see my mood change slightly.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up. I would've reacted the same way, if not worse, if it was the other way around. I'm glad you stood up against him, especially after the way he's been treating you for years."

I smile, "Yeah, it did feel pretty good."

What were we going to do when we got to school on Monday? This video was going to get everywhere in two days. All the kids at school, parents, and teachers. This was not going to be good.

"I should probably head home before my mom sees this. She's going to freak."

I get up to go and Nick grabs my arm and pulls me into a hug.

"I love you, it's all gonna be ok." He whispers.

"I love you too," I mutter, not so sure about the second part of his statement.

I head down the stairs and I see Nick's mom at the bottom. I could just tell by the look in her eyes that she had seen what happened. I freeze where I am and I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I was right, I hadn't processed anything that had happened in the last hour.

"Come here baby." She says, holding her arms out to me.

I head down the rest of the stairs and she pulls me into a hug.

"I'm really sorry, you probably don't even see me the same," I say into her shoulder, barely holding back a sob.

"I see you for exactly who you are Charlie," she says, "What you did was brave, and I am so happy that Nick has you."

"I'm glad I have him too."

I hear Nick's door open, and he walks down the stairs. His mom pulls him into a hug and whispers something that I can't hear into his ear. He now has a shirt on so that he can walk me home. That's also something I haven't fully comprehended yet. One thing at a time. We walk to my house not saying much, but holding hands. He left me at the door, and kissed me before he left.

"Text me when you get back home." I say.

"You know I will." He says with that Nick Nelson smile.

I watch him turn around and walk away as I step into the door. Surprisingly, I'm smiling, which I definitely didn't expect after all that. My smile soon fades as I walk into the kitchen and see my mom sitting at the table. Her eyes confirm what I already knew: she saw the video. This was not the same look that Nick's mom gave me either, this was anger, embarrassment.

"So," she mutters, "have anything you want to tell me."

I can already feel my eyes welling up.

"Mum, I'm sorry, I was just-"

"Don't even try to explain yourself, there's no excuse for that behavior."

"But mu-"

She slams her fist on the table, "Charlie I don't want to hear another word."

I jump a bit from the noise.

"Do you even understand how bad this looks? Someone from work sent me that video. It's embarrassing."

I'm embarrassing.

"Did you even see what they did to Nick?" I ask.

"Yes and that was unfortunate, but that does not mean you can act that way. It's absolutely unacceptable."

"What was I supposed to do, just stand there and let them do that to Nick?!" I say, raising my voice a bit.

"Don't. Talk to me like that. You will not disrespect me in this house."

"Then don't disrespect Nick in front of me."

"You know this is all his fault?"

"What?"

"You never would've done something like this before you met him. He's changed you."

"I never would've stood up for the person I love?"

"Honey, you don't know what love is."

"Neither do you, cause this isn't love, or do you just not love me?"

"How could you say that? Of course I love you."

"You don't though. If you did you'd love all of me, and accept all of me. You wouldn't go around saying I'm faking my eating disorder," her face dropped, "Yeah, I heard that. I went to the mental hospital for fucks sake, and you're trying to say I'm faking it. Imagine hearing your parent say that, not to your face, but behind your back. That's not love." I say all in one breath.

"You don't underst-"

"Yeah I guess I don't, since I don't know what love is. I guess that means I never loved you either." I say. 

Who cares if I meant it or not. I went up to my room and locked the door behind me. I wasn't coming out of my room. Telling me I don't know what love is. I do. I have known love for 2 years, and that is thanks to Nick. She's the one who doesn't know what love is, and I'm not gonna let her find out. She doesn't get the chance to love me.