Yours - A Nick and Charlie Story

Chapter 5: Charlie

I didn't sleep at all last night. Normally when that happens it's because I've had a shitty day, but this time it was a new feeling. It felt like excitement, like a new chapter in my life. I was ready to finally be loved by someone. I don't mean to sound dramatic when I say that, I have people who love me already, but all of that is just platonic or because they are family. Someone finally will see me in a way that no boy ever has.

Ben: Here.

Me: Coming <3

They always tell you that you get butterflies when you are around a person that you admire, or like, or even love. I've only felt butterflies twice in my life. One of those times is now, about to go on a date with someone I like. The other, well, the first time I met Nick. These butterflies with Ben are different. More of a nervous type. Ben has more of a cold personality, but when it's just us, it is quite the opposite. He's not out, which I think scares him, but when it's just us he acts like I'm the only one that matters. I walked outside and saw Ben sitting in my driveway. He didn't meet me at the door, not that it's like a rule or anything. He doesn't even look up to see if I'm outside, he's just on his phone. I open the door to his car and sit in his passenger seat.

"Hi" I say with a slight quiver in my voice.

"Hey," he says back.

There is a bit of banter between us as he drives, but nothing to write home about. The cafe was about 50 minutes away by the beach. We finally arrive at the cafe and it almost looks closed. We were the only ones in there minus the employees. We order and he doesn't pay for me. Did I expect him to? Maybe I should've paid. I've got no clue on how these things work. I hope I'm not ruining anything. Stop. What would Nick tell me to do? He would tell me,

'"Ben is going to love you, he'd be lucky to have you."

I realize he's right, and I just need to be myself. Ben will like me for me, I hope.

"Hey, after this do you wanna go take a picture by the beach?" I ask Ben.

"Umm, what? Why would we do that?"

"Oh, sorry I just thought–I don't know."

"Yeah, ok."

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. That was definitely not what I should've said. But was it really so much of an ask? Even if it was, he could've just said no not tonight.

"I'm s-sorry, I didn't mean to pressure you or anything, I know you're not ready to be ou-,"

"Shut the fuck up," He yells at me.

"S-sorr-"

"That's what you always say huh? My god you think that just because you're gay that it's easy for everyone."

"I never said it was easy. Do you remember when I was outed?"

"And look where it got you. You think everyone likes you because you are a good person, but really they just feel sorry for you."

My eyes started welling up.

"I-I'm gonna go to the bathroom."

I got up and quickly ran away. I walked into the bathroom and stood over the sink trying to calm myself down. My first thought was Nick. I told him I'd text if anything went wrong. I quickly pulled out my phone to text him.

Me: Hey Nick, I really need you to come get me. It went really bad.

Right as I pressed send my phone died. Shit. What if he didn't get my message? Shit shit shit. The door opens.

TW: ATTEMPTED SA, read a/n for non-triggering summary

"Hey, um, sorry about what happened back there." Ben says, stepping into the bathroom.

"Um, it's fine," I say backing up.

"Hey, you don't need to be scared of me, I'd never hurt you."

"Um, I-I'm sorry, I just got a little freaked out back there."

"I said I'm sorry, what more do you want?" He took another step towards me. I backed up again and hit the wall.

"B-Ben, I just think I need a minute, why don't you go wait at the table?"

"Why would I do that when I have you all to myself here?"

My eyes widened when he put his arms around either side of me on the wall.

"Pl-Please don't. Ben please" I whisper, barely getting the words out.

He's right on top of me now, and he kisses me. I try my best to move out of the way, but his force is too strong for me to really get away. Finally I was so tired of trying my knees just gave out and I sunk onto the ground. I look up with tears in my eyes at the person who I thought liked me for who I was.

"What a pathetic little fag you are." Ben growls at me.

TW END

He lets go and walks out. I hear the chime of the front door. And like always I was all alone. I just kept on sobbing on the bathroom floor. Ben is right. I am a pathetic little fag. My phone is next to me on the floor, and I picked it up to see if Nick had texted me back, but I remembered it was dead.

"FUCK!" I screamed as I threw my phone against the wall. I need to get out of here. As I get up I look in the mirror. Looking back at me was a shell of what I was, I will never be the same after this. I grab my phone off the floor and hurry out of the cafe before any of the employees notices me. Ben left. So here I was, an hour away from home with no one around. I go to sit on the beach. I look out into the water and just imagine floating away. It's not like anyone would miss me, it would just be better if I was gone. I sat there and just started for a really long time. It could've been five minutes or five hours, I don't really know or care. All of the sudden I hear a voice scream my name.

"CHARLIE!?"

I turn to see Nick running over to me. He sits down next to me and when he looks at me I just burst into tears.

"Shh shh, it's ok," Nick whispers as he wraps his arms around me.

"It's not, it's re-really not," I sob into his shoulder.

I can't hear the ocean anymore. It's like I'm not even at the beach. Between the sobs and shaky breaths, it felt to me as if my whole world was crashing down.

"What do you need? Charlie, please, let me help." Nick says, looking at me.

"Please just stay with me, okay?"

And he did. He just sat there and held me for a really, really long time. Eventually I could hear the ocean again. I felt like I was in my own body again, and I just felt Nick. I looked up at him and his eyes were just full of so much love. How was I going to tell him what happened? What if he thinks Ben was right? No. He wouldn't. Still, how could I tell him without feeling like a burden? I guess I'm being a burden right now. He drove an hour to come get me, just to sit here while I sob like some pathetic bitch.

"Nick?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm so sorry."

He looks at me with the same loving eyes, but now there are tears he is trying to fight back.

"What did I tell you about saying that word?" He says almost in tears.

"I know, I know." I say in a whisper.

We both look out into the ocean, and think how neither of us want to move. 

A/N: TW scene - Very similar to the hallway scene in episode one, but Nick doesn't save Charlie. Ben kisses Charlie and then ends up leaving him on the floor and quoting Harry from episode seven, calling him a "pathetic little f*g".