Melanin Love 2

ɴᴏᴛ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ

Rejection was never for the faint of heart. No one was truly supposed to take rejection well. Rejection was always like a stab to the heart from the one who has had your heart for however long you have been crushing on them. Rejection always hurt deeply and wounded deeply. Rejection isn't for everyone but neither is love. Rejection and love make you feel things that you had never felt before. Love made you feel as though you had everything you could've wished for while Rejection made you feel like the most unwanted person in the world. Why was rejection hard?

For every person that gets rejected, there is a person who rejects. For you rejecting them was easier than getting heartbroken by them. You always thought that it was easier to reject them before they could get to you. If only you thought that way before. Relationships for you always ended up in heartbreaks. Maybe that's why you always rejected those who asked you out or had worked up enough courage to talk to you. Each time you did so you wanted to run after them and tell them that it wasn't their fault but you couldn't. More like you didn't want to. No one could understand the reason why you felt like this. Most people didn't and that's why you kept it to yourself most of the time.

As much as you would like to tell these people that relationships weren't for you, you knew that it wasn't the truth. Getting your heart broken was what you were truly afraid of. That was your fear but you didn't consider anyone else's fear. Not once did you question if your rejections hurt or broke anyone's heart because you were afraid to have your own broken. In this game called life, it was easy to forget about those you did wrong. Not once did you consider their feelings, not even once. Your feelings stopped you from thinking irrationally. Stopped you from apologizing, worrying about others, and most importantly from falling in love.

Rejection. Rejection. Rejection. That's what you were supposed to do. You were supposed to reject everyone who tried to ask you out. You couldn't take any more broken hearts. No more broken hearts for you. You promised yourself that. So why did you have to go and fall in love with this boy?! Why did you have to like him?! Why did he have to like you?! It confused you. Your feelings were stupid. You hated having feelings. You hated your heart. You hated how one moment your heart shielded itself away and the next moment tried to open up. What was wrong with you?! You couldn't fall in love. How many times do I have to tell you? Don't fall in love.

But you couldn't help it. So you would say. You were in love. No, don't say that word. You don't know what love does to a person. How could you say you were in love when the love you had felt always ended up with you crying over said love? This could not be one of those stories. This was not another love story. This wasn't like those books or movies you watched. This was real life. Get that through your thick skull. Real not fake. Not everything happened magically or willingly. What don't you get about that? What about said boy made you think you were in love with him?

What about Jang Hyunsoo were you crazy about? Was it that he was nice and kind to you? Maybe it was that he had a cute but handsome face? What about him?! You didn't know. You never knew why you were so willing to break your promise to yourself to never let anyone close to you just for this boy. But you were. probably because you thought he was different. Maybe he was different from the others who said they loved you and then the next moment broke your heart like that. You wanted to believe he was different. You did believe he was different but your heart wouldn't allow it. Never did you expect for you to be asked out on a date by said boy. But what you never really expected was to agree so willingly to the date.

But who knows the date could be boring or maybe not what you expected so maybe you could end things a little bit better. But how wrong you were. You chuckled feeling the cool air breeze past you as the ride went faster. Your tight curls blowing in the wind. Your dark brown eyes are closed as you take in the moment of peace and fun. The ride came to a stop as you two exited hands clasped. Your brown skin contrasts with his light complexion.
You couldn't help but smile at the feeling and sight. Was it crazy to think that you were having fun? Because you were. Sure you had gone on dates before but none was like this one. They didn't make you feel happy or laugh nor did they hold your hand the way he was. He made you feel things you hadn't felt in quite some time. He made you feel wanted and loved. Was it too hard to want that?

It didn't have to be. But it was for you at least. For you to say you didn't enjoy that date would be an understatement. Because you had enjoyed that date with him. You enjoyed spending time with him, laughing with him, talking with him, and just being around him. But why did you have to let him go? Why hadn't you talked to him in weeks? Why did you stop taking his calls and answering his texts? Why did you do what you did? Why did you have to hurt him? Just because you didn't want to get hurt. Bullshit. You and him both knew that you guys liked each other and the feeling was mutual. But you couldn't let him get to you. You couldn't let him love you because love wasn't something you wanted to feel. After all, it would only break your heart in the end. Love wasn't in your vocabulary at least not anymore.

So for you to be standing right in front of him uttering the words that had caused you so much heartbreak in the past was utterly stupid. 'I'm sorry Hyunsoo. But I can't. Not again.' You admitted as you watch a sad smile make its way upon his face. 'I-it's alright y/n. I understand. Maybe we can still be friends?' He questioned only for the smile to slowly disappear from his face as he watched you shake your head. You guys couldn't be friends not after all the trouble you caused him. Being friends would only make you feel worse for rejecting him and his liking you. But it never could hurt as badly as it did right now. 'I-i don't think so Hyunsoo. Maybe we should cut connections? I'm sorry again.' You spoke as you looked at him to see him slowly nodding. You sadly kissed his cheek before walking away.

Never did you think that you'll be crying over a boy again. But this time was different. You weren't crying because someone had broken your heart but instead that you hadn't given the chance to let someone show you the love that you deserved. This wasn't the matter of it being better him than you. Because in the end both of you hurt not just one of you unlike it was before. You thought leaving him alone was the best for him. But instead, it only broke your heart worse than any breakup ever had. But you couldn't. This wasn't like the movies or shows you watched. It couldn't be a love story. It was just not another love story.