From me to you

Chapter 24

Logan parks the car and I smile, "Thanks again for this." He shrugs, "There's no need for thanks princess, spoil yourself." I nod pressing a kiss to his cheek before heading towards the building. 

I watch as he drives away once I enter the spa place, once I'm sure he's gone I turn around and head out of the place. 

I adjust my cap and head for the building across the street. 

It's cold when I walk in and I adjust my shorts, "Hi, how can I help you?" I smile politely, "Hi, I have an appointment with Dr. Shelby?" She nods typing stuff into the computer, "Ah miss Marks, she's with a client right now but they should be done soon." I nod, "Is it okay if I sit over there?" She smiles, nodding, "Of course." 

As I head to my seat I can't help but think that I love most receptionists, they are so nice, and honestly, whether or not their smile is genuine, it makes my day a lot better, is that weird? I hope not.

"Miss Marks, come on back with me." Dr. Shelby's voice calls to me, I stand up tipping my head down so the person leaving doesn't notice me. 

The hallway was a cream color, I hate that color, makes me feel anxious but when we step into her office the color changed. It's blue with a bookshelf on one side and her desk on the other, and there's a couch across her desk which she motions for me to sit on. 

"So, how do you want to start this?" I chew my bottom lip and fiddle with my fingers, "I don't know, I've never been to therapy before." She nods, "Okay, well, how about we introduce ourselves first?" I nod, "Well, my name's Jackie, hope you don't mind but I used a fake name." She smiles, "It's for your safety, there's no problem, my name's Jane, I have a few questions before we start the session, is that okay?" 

I nod watching her grab a notebook and move her chair from behind the desk, "Okay so, I'll be taking some notes throughout the session, they help me stay organized and remember important details, I'm the only one who sees them but if you'd prefer me not to write anything that's okay too." 

I nod, "It's okay." She smiles and crosses her leg, "So, what brought you to therapy?" My hands can't stop fucking moving because I'm so nervous, "Well, numerous things really." I try to laugh it off but she squints tilting her head to the side, "Are you nervous?" I nodded taking a deep breath to still my hands, "Yeah, it's obvious huh?" 

She smiles, "Just a little, it's perfectly normal to feel nervous your first few times in therapy, I get it, it's weird talking to a stranger about your problems, so we'll take as much time as needed to get you comfortable before diving into anything." 

I sigh and my hands finally stop shaking, "Yeah it is weird, but I need it." She smiles, "If you don't mind me asking, why do you think you need it?" I grind my teeth frowning at the floor, "I've been through some fucked up stuff and I've never tried to deal, well I tried to on my own and it's never worked and now I'm in a somewhat of a committed relationship and I really like the guy but I can feel myself trying to pull away and sabotage it and I don't want to do that." 

She nods, "Well I'm glad you're here for you because it makes things a lot easier for you, it means you acknowledge your trauma and hurt and now you're willing to work through it." I nod, "Yeah, I uh, I've been through a lot and I just don't want to feel like I'm too much anymore." Tears gather in my eyes and I bounce my leg to give my brain something else to focus on. 

"Do you do that a lot?" She motions to my bouncing leg, "Yeah, it's a habit I guess, sometimes I don't realize I'm doing it, my mum hates it, drives her crazy." She hums and writes something in her notebook, "What? Something already wrong?" She frowns, "As I said before I take notes to remember things better so I can help you address them properly not because you did, or said something wrong."