From me to you

Chapter 17

"Hey, Jackie." I smile at Joshua, a usual at the bar, "Hey, Josh." 

He's a burly guy, about 6'2 and thirty-six years old, he started regularly coming about three weeks ago after a run-in with a very handsy customer. 

"Anyone giving you trouble today?" I smile placing the vodka martini in front of him, "No big guy, everyone's scared of you, which I don't understand, you're very cuddly, and can't hurt a fly." He smiles at me, a smile a father reserves for his child, and my heart swells with longing, "Sure thing honey, I'll be in the corner." I nod as he saunters off to the table tucked at the back of the room.

I laugh to myself turning around, I go about my business trying to reorganize the very messy row of drinks, I don't understand how this gets messed up every time, "Sorry, a bachelorette party rolled through here last night, it was crazy." I hum, acknowledging the excuse my coworker gave, it's probably a lie but I don't care enough to call him out on it.

I search for the pang that usually comes after talking about anything wedding related but it never comes, my chest feels as light as it did before that statement as my lips tilt upward in a small smile, and true to Max and James' words I do feel better, I mean it's only been what? Three months since I ran from home so I think I'm doing good for myself, James flew back shortly after my very chaotic depressive episode, he calls me every night before he goes to bed to make sure I'm okay. 

Max has eased up on me slightly, I get to eat some meals alone now, and I've stopped cutting again but from time to time I still feel very sad, and I think I'll continue to feel that for a while but that's okay, I know that now. 

Knuckles rap on the wood of the counter and I turn around with a smile on my face, "Hi, what can I get for you today?" He stares at me, eyes darting across my face briefly before dipping to scan my outfit, I'm used to the attention now, I didn't understand it at first but now I get how small Castlewellan is, there haven't been any new faces since I've been here, "Six tequila shots please." I nod grabbing the shot glasses I pour, then I set them on a tray, "Do you think you can carry them? I can help if you can't." He eyes me and takes the tray from me gently, a shy smile gracing his features, "No, I'm good, thanks." He turns and walks to his table.

Max comes in smiling, "Hey J." I lean over the counter to hug him, "Hey babe, here to watch me again?" He smiles, taking a seat in front of me, "No actually, Lare won't be able to make it in today and asked me to help." My eyes widen a bit, Max was a regular at the bar, but he stayed strictly on the other side, "Oh don't look so surprised, I'm not just a good drinker, I'm a good bartender." 

He rounds the bar, bumping his hip into mine he smiles down at me, "I promise if I don't know what to do I'll ask you." I smile patting his chest, and his smile widens, "Thanks champ." I waltz over to the end of the bar taking the order of the couple there as they attempt to strike up a conversation, I've learned better than to indulge them, "That your boyfriend honey? He's a hunk." I smile at Max who catches my stare and winks at me, walking over to kiss my cheek before moving back to whatever it is he was doing, "No, just a good friend." 

They hum, glancing at each other like they don't believe a word out of my mouth, "You can't find friends like that anymore can you darling?" One says to the other, and I offer them one more smile, "Holler if you need anything." I turn around cleaning peanut shells off the counter, "Hi." I smile at the guy who was at the bar earlier, "More shots?" He shakes his head, leaning on the counter, I think he's trying to act cool but his shoulders are so visibly tense, it's cute, "No, I wanted to ask you something." 

I nod leaning my hip on the counter, "Babe, we're out of tequila." I smile apologetically at the guy before I turn to Max, "There's some in the back." He nods and disappears through the back doors, "So, what was it you needed?" He sighs and sits on a stool by the counter, my eyebrows furrow in question, "You're really pretty." I blush slightly, "Thank you, you're quite handsome yourself." A light blush coats his cheeks and I fight the urge to coo.