Where's My Happily Ever After? Jason TTM x (Oc) Reader

Regret And Guilt

Small droplets of tears fall down the man's face, his forehead was placed against the door, a hand laid on the knob wanting so badly to turn it.. to open it. But, he knew what would happen if he did.

--

Hours after the incident with Finn, Jason had returned to his own room he resided within, in his workshop. The one that was rumored to lay inside of the blue door he was so renowned to have the power to create and teleport around, like some kind of mystical power.
At least, he knew that's what the others whispered about. In which, they were correct, it was within his power range to create and transport the door wherever he wished it to be, and when he was struggling with Finn, he knew to bring him through that door to kill him where every other victim had perished the same way he almost did.

The toymaker had no explanation to why he didn't kill Finn when he had the chance, he didn't know why he just wanted to torture him when the others.. they had done much worse, yet here he was, a pain he hadn't felt for the longest time was implanted in his body, an ache that he just couldn't place, one that just would not let him kill the black haired male that currently, was still alive and being cared for.

The male sat, he sat on a chair near a small work desk he had placed deliberately so he could work late at night, when he couldn't find the comfort of sleep to aid him. Thinking of all the possibilities of just why he couldn't find the guts to go and kill Finn, why he didn't have the determination, the strength, or even the Witt to do it.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact he had known Finn a little longer than his latest victims, maybe he was too attached? Or maybe..he saw a little bit of himself within the other. He hadn't a clue to any of it. He wondered, on and on until suddenly he was abruptly shoved away from his thoughts by a soft knocking on his chambers door.

"What is it?" He pauses, listening intently, it had to be one of the doll maids he assigned to watch on Finn.

'Did he die? Did I hurt him too bad? Is the damage permanent?'

Those thoughts float around the very back of his mind, but he focuses back onto the female voice now talking.

"Er- Sire, I wished to inform you that..Finn, is stable. Scared, hurting, and upset. But, he will be fine come a few months and leg exercises"

"Good, good. Maid, do be a dear and please come in to have a word with me.." His voice isn't asking, it's almost demanding.

The doll walks in, it's Danie. The one who introduced herself to Finn first, of course Jason didn't know that though. And he probably didn't care to.

She bows her head, casting her eyes down towards his boots.

"Ah, Danie. Hello" He simply greets, now seeing who it was,
"I need to ask you a question, though it might be quite stupid. You know more about human emotions than I"

The doll looks up through her lashes lightly, holding her wax hands together.
"Yes? What is it sire?"

"Do you know the feeling of having an ache in your entire being, not due to physical pain or anything. But when you think of a certain subject, you feel pain?"

"Oh..uhm, well.. that could be a lot of things. Including, Guilt, Regret, embarrassment, or any of those emotions. They're mostly negative, Sire" she replies, almost monotonous.

Jason nods, crossing one leg over the other.
"I see, thank you" pausing, he identifies that maybe..he was feeling some kind of regret, or Guilt for hurting Finn like that..maybe he was telling the truth on that table, and Jason didn't listen to the male at all.

"That is all I needed, Dismissed" the toymaker waves his hand dismissively, not caring what else the doll had to say. She quickly nods and strolls out, closing the door quietly as well to not disturb her master. 

Jason picks at his fingers, why was he feeling regret? Or whatever the hell that stupid feeling was? He never really cared THIS much about some stupid idiot he could replace. But to him, Finn seemed more important to him, more of a priority.  And Jason never felt that way, he felt like HE always had to come first, because HE was the perfect one, he was the one with no fault. Now that he felt this, the redhead felt weak, vulnerable. Vulnerable to this...man that had just come into his life only a few months ago. It was so incredibly stupid.

So stupid in fact, that he was going to go and talk to the other, if he wasn't asleep of course.

--

The man who couldn't make a mistake in his life, was crying now, crying over a stupid boy like a school girl whose crush rejected her.
Jason felt like he couldn't just waltz in there. He felt...shame. so shameful that he hurt the person who trusted him the most. He had seen it in Finns eyes when he grabbed him, the almost instant betrayal. A feeling Jason knew almost too well.
It got worse hearing Finns sniffles, his sobbing and finally the light snoring, with smaller, quiet sobs that signaled he cried himself to sleep.

Jason's hand is gripping the door knob tightly now, his brain frustratingly trying to come up with an idea of what to do now that he was only separated by a door. It was unlocked because the toymaker had just unlocked it, it took a key that he, and three other dolls he had entrusted it with had. His tears had stopped, so he thought now was a good time to go in.

The door swings open with a soft creaking sound, the smell of books, dust, and slight blood hung thick in the air, almost suffercatingly. Or maybe that was just Jason being I've dramatic. He couldn't tell.
Closing and locking the door behind him, he let's out a sigh, his shoulders and overall body being very tense. The only light in the room was a small lamp, one that was not very bright, it didn't matter, it still illuminated Finns face, enough for Jason's own to burn bright red, for no apparent reason. He looked peaceful now, but he could see the puffiness in Finns cheeks from how long he had cried. It stabbed a hole in Jason's stomach, seeing the male like that.

Spotting a chair to his right, he grabs it and sets it down softly next to Finn. He takes a seat, his now amber eyes becoming wet with tears he didn't know would come. They spill down his face and onto his folded hands, he wipes them on his beige vest, but they keep coming, Jason had cried a lot today, he hated the feeling because it made him all sticky, but now he didn't care, he deserved the uncomfortable feeling.

His eyes stared into Finns soft, delicate face. Noticing everything, like; the way his hair fell, the redness in his cheeks, and the way his lips were turned Slightly downwards.

He didn't know it, but he unconsciously reached for Finns hand, only noticing when he had it in his own.

He flushed again, embarrassed by his own actions. How stupid.
The toymaker didn't let go though, he held onto Finns hand, wanting nothing more than to pull him into an embrace and keep him there for all eternity... or until he felt like his misdeeds were forgiven.

Jason sat there for a very long time, or at least it felt like a long time. So long in fact that he dared to lay his head on the bed that Finn was resting on, still having his hand.
He felt like a child who didn't want to lose their parent in a store, Jason felt ridiculous...but he made no move to change it. He only hummed to himself mentally and closed his eyes, trying to keep himself from getting mad at what he was doing to not only himself, but to Finn as well.

He thought, thought, and thought...until his thinking became a blurred image in his brain, and that blurred image became darkness. Which made him drift off into a sleep, with Finns hand in his.