Mixed Direction

Chapter Fourteen: Categories

"Ellie, Lillie and Rosie?" I ask and they both nod their heads immediately. Oh, we're terrible friends, but you can't help but wonder how that happens. And I am not saying Zayn and Perrie loves their daughters any less, and I love those kids to the fucking moon and back, but it makes me wonder. It really does.

"What?" Imogen asks us.

"Perrie, she feel pregnant when she was twenty- four or five, something like that," Leigh looks confused. "But, it wasn't planned and it certainly shocked us all, but that went well and they had Ellie, she's three now. And then when Ellie was about eighteen months they started trying for another, but that like failed after about a week," Leigh sighs and both Jade and I laugh. Zayn and Perrie can't work on a plan, it has to come out of the fucking blue.

"But then, she managed to fall pregnant in the October and they had twins Lillie and Rosie last July," Jade finishes for Leigh and the others all nod, same sort of guilty and kind of jealous expressions as us.

"Gorgeous names," Mia smiles cheerfully. Mia is literally the definition of joy. I don't ever think I've heard her be mean about anyone and she's never really un- happy.

"Gorgeous kids," Leigh adds. Agreed. Totally agreed. They're cheerful, cheeky, happy, kind, absolutely without a doubt beautiful in looks- mind you, look at their parents.

"Is that them?" Kirstin asks, pointing at the wall to my right.

We all look across at the big picture on a canvas above my fireplace. It's of Ellie, Lillie and Rosie. Ellie in the middle with a twin on each side. Rosie is in a crawling position and coming at the camera, Lillie is sitting down with her hands doing little fists of excitement. Both twins have the brightest gummy smiles ever. Ellie is sitting cross legged behind them, smiling all cheekily like normal, her eyes sparkling as she laughs.

It's seriously the most warming photo ever! It was taken about two weeks ago and both Leigh- Anne and I went straight to the photo shop with it and got them put onto canvases in black and white.

"Yeah, that's them. Ellie is the older one, Rosie on the right, Lillie on the left," Leigh- Anne replies to Kirstin and all the women make 'awww' noises.

You can't be mad about that. We shouldn't be mad or jealous of Perrie and Zayn, but somehow we are. Not largely, but a tiny bit. And I feel terrible that I am, but I also know that one day I will be lucky enough to have my own baby, no matter how.

"So, does it make you mad, that they managed to get three, out of two un- planned pregnancies?" Laura asks Jade, Leigh- Anne and I. Like I said, I shouldn't be, but I kind of am. And not at Perrie, but at the way it works.

"A little bit," I reply in all honesty and the other two nod their heads too. Leigh- Anne has been seriously thinking about starting a family recently, and so has Jade I think.

"Did she want Ellie? And the twins?" Eva asks us.

"Oh yeah!" Jade exclaims. "Of course, after they got over the actual shock of Perrie being pregnant with Ellie. Ellie was a surprise, but they often say how they get to love this surprise forever."

"That's sweet," Mia smiles.

"How long have you been trying, Jesy?" Kirstin asks me. It feels like forever, because it kind of has been. As the years pass by, I haven't really thought about it, but when I look back, I can see how long it really has been.

"Four years now," I reply and a few jaws drop, others just nod their heads due to experiencing the same thing.

"Just before we found out about Ellie," Jade reminds me and I nod my head. Then I found out I was infertile whilst Perrie was pregnant, but then when Ellie was a baby we found out I was fertile again, but still I haven't fallen pregnant.