HIP #3: Forgetting The Old Us

Epilogue

(Arthur's POV)

Little did I know that the graduation day of Shane at the University of Paris was the last time we saw each other. Considering the fact that she told me there will always be a next time. It kept me hoping that someday, we will see each other again in the way we both want it to.

It has been seven years since we last talked. Every single night, I couldn't sleep. I always wanted to walk up to her house and fix everything. But I also want her to know that I am trying my best not to bother her happy life anymore as I did before.

Honestly, I agreed with her mom to come back, not because of the amount of money she offered to me. But because I thought I can use that as an alibi when Shane asks me. But things didn't go as well as I wanted them to.

For seven years, I spent each night stalking her accounts, controlling myself not to call her, diverting my attention to something else that would help me avoid thinking of why things had to end up like this.

I know she's happy with her life now. I can see it through her posts and the videos she uploads. It's pretty obvious that her job is great. She finally reached her biggest dream. I remember when she used to tell me a lot about how much she aspires to become an author. And now, her works are bestsellers, and people around the world are talking about them.

I knew I missed her since the day we broke up, but she never knew. I needed her so much back when I was trying to forget but I never showed. I thought doing it could make me a burden to her. Instead, I became a burden to myself.

Days turned to nights that I was just drinking myself to sleep. I spent one whole year trying to move on. Until now, I haven't. So many times, Shane thought I have but the truth is that she never believed how much I wanted her by my side.

I'm already a permanent professor at UOP. This means it's up to me whether I would like to retire or not. I don't have to worry anymore about getting fired anytime.

I didn't hear her voice in person for almost a decade and I miss it. The more you think of a person, the more you miss them.

I want to walk up to her and kiss her in front of everyone. I want to feel that spark again that I felt on the first night I saw her sitting all alone on a bench. I want to see her smile again because of me.

But, I can't do anything now that things are too late.

Not now that she's about to be Shane Dean. She's about to be Eros' wife and he's about to be her husband. Today is their wedding day. I wasn't invited nor a guess to this event. But I saw everything on social media. The ones she posts on her accounts.

They show how excited she is. And here I am thinking, that should be me in front of her waiting to get to me, that should be me letting out tears of joy, dancing with her, kissing her in front of everyone, and keeping her a vow. But I'm not.

Because the days she needed me to be strong, I was weak. And when I was supposed to be comforting her, I ended up hurting her more. I thought I could make her feel happy, but I made her more sad.

I was stupid, young, dumb, and I knew nothing about life. But I knew how much I missed her, I knew how much I needed her, how much I wanted her, and how much I cried wishing she was by my side.

"I now announce you as husband and wife." The guy in a white suit and tie spoke with a smile written on his face and everyone clapped their hands. The bushes beside me are slightly blocking my eyes and I feel like moths, mosquitos, and flies are biting my feet now. I know I don't need to hide from them but I want to.

"Woo! Hoo! That's my bestie!" Charlie screamed and clapped her hands louder than she did earlier.

I want to run, ruin the moment and complain about how much I still love Shane. I want to go up there, kiss her just like I dreamt it, and steal her away. But things are now not the same. They're not the same as they used to be. If only I did these things before and confessed as early as I could, then perhaps I'm not this miserable.

I thought nothing can make me bite my lips to hold back tears. But one thing did: Knowing that I can never find another like her, and no one will love me as she did. I know she has moved on from the old us. But I haven't and I know I can never.

I've been trying hard not to make an excuse just to cry tonight. They say a real man never cries but several times, because of the girl I love that I cannot get back anymore, I did.

I want to forget my heart hurts a little more when I see her smile because of Eros. I don't hate him. I hate myself for not doing what I had to when I had the chance.

Maybe we can fix everything that went wrong if we go back to the start. But I'm scared. Scared that I might not be able to make her as happy as she is with him. I had a choice before, but I chose to do the wrong thing. Now, that I want the right one, I don't have an option anymore but to accept the fact that she is happier with him. She's better off without me.

I took a deep breath as I began walking away from the bushes. Forever, she has a place in my mind and my heart. Always, she will be the girl who changed my life both in a good and bad way.

I loved her and I still do but she will not know it. Never again.

To forget about the old us is the only thing left to do.