HIP #3: Forgetting The Old Us

Chapter 39

I thought the days of our toxic vibes to each other were over when we talked about it and swore to each other that we would never fight again.

But after the day we did that, another toxic fight came up about his time for me. I asked him a lot of questions about the time he spends on his phone rather than on me. Because he faced his phone for the whole day but couldn't even spare a minute to talk to me.

It made my heart break.

Funny how time quickly passed us by.

We met at a party where he stood as the only person there to understand how I felt having parents fighting every day. And then we met unexpectedly at a beach party and I began developing my feelings for him like a picture. Then we had our first date at a restaurant where I had a lot of fun with him when he told me a lot about his past, his background, and his family. We went on a bike date where I fell and more and more and more dates.

Until tough times hit us but we weren't ready so we couldn't face them right.

Every time we tried to calmly talk to each other, we just ended up screaming and fighting with each other, defending our sides, and not listening to what we both had to say. And I can confirm with my words, that it was a harsh time with him.

Long story, short: He was the wrong guy.

It was such a bad time but at least I survived from all the pain of a mistake I made.

I didn't know it was a mistake to love him. Until I witnessed how he lost his interest in me.

"Can you please put that phone down for a while?" I asked him.

We were sitting on a bench at the park in front of the mall we went to. I invited him for a shopping date. He almost refused. He didn't want to go but I pushed him to. And I know that I was wrong with that. But I was trying to fix us. But we ended up being more broken.

"I'm sorry, babe, I just really have to finish this." I rolled my eyes.

I couldn't help thinking that up to our date, he was staring at his phone and typing different words. As if he wasn't with me. It made me clench my fist into a rock and held back a tear.

It felt just like yesterday when we first met. Then we turned that way: Acting like we were not even close in public. I knew I shouldn't have pushed him to go there but what can I say?

I was a silly little young kid trying to fix her own experimental fail. Ended up failing harder.

"You've been on your phone for the whole time since we arrived here! Can you please spend just a minute with me? I need to tell you something!" My yell caught the people's attention around us. The frowned and began murmuring. We were making a scene and I was aware of that but I couldn't pay attention right to it.

That was a critical situation for him. I was saving our relationship on a basis of fifty-fifty if it was going to be saved or not.

"Please, Shane! Lower your voice! They're looking at us," He whispered.

"Wow! So, you're feeling a lot of shame that they're watching us but you never was ashamed that your sister always makes fun of me?" I don't know if I was sad or mad. But I was defending something: Us.

"How the heck is my sister involved in this?" Finally, he held his phone down and inserted it into the pocket of his jacket.

"Don't act like you know nothing!"

"About what?"

"Arthur, your sister is out of the boundaries with her jokes when it comes to my family, to my skin, and about my past."

"Just don't mind her. You'll get used to it soon. She used to make fun of my friends back then and embarrass me in front of them. But I survived all those crap." I pressed my lips so hard that they almost bleed. I wanted to press back all the tears planning to drop from my eyes. I didn't want him to see me cry. Not even in that kind of situation.

"That's what you always say!" I complained.

"Come on! Stop exaggerating. I survived, I know you can too."

"We're different you know. If you survived, congratulations! But I am not you!"

"Just let it slide!" I frowned. But it's the kind of frown I do when I can't believe something but already feel pain because of it.

"Just let it slide? Seriously Arthur? I thought you would understand!" Everyone laid their eyes on us, but none of them spoke about calming us.

"Understand what?"

"That I'm being hurt already!" I lowered my voice the moment I realized what we were making: A scene.

"You're being a baby!" I couldn't believe it because of his phone, we fought like that.

"Call me a baby but your sister calling me a freak at a dinner table is the worst thing I've ever heard! I can take her jokes about me being adopted but not the ones about my skin tone!"

"It's just her! Let her be and she will let you be," I rolled my eyes and covered my hand to prevent crying.

"I did, okay? And I'm tired of doing it. I've been letting her hurtful jokes slide for the longest time and now, she's going too far I can't take it anymore!" I thought it was going to be a nice night of shopping with him. Turns out it was the worst night I had with him.

"Then tell me if you want us to end!" His fist formed into a rock and met the hard wooden table and it made a loud noise; making everyone look away and focus on their own business.

It turned out to look like a contest.

A contest of who can scream louder and throw the harshest words.

"That's not what I mean!"

"Then what in the world do you mean?"

"That... that... that maybe you should tell your sister she should learn how to place her jokes right and when to throw them and how to filter them."

I pointed out the word 'filter' for him to notice then immediately stood up and carried all the shopping bags. I walked away hoping he was following me. But he wasn't.

He let me walk out.

He didn't run to me, say sorry, or try to fix us.

He just sat on his seat, looking so relaxed like nothing even happened. He didn't mind me.