[HIATUS] Sausage Party [Twisted Wonderland x Reader]

17: Please Step On Me, [Y/n]

A/N: I'm biased towards my second favorite character in this chapter and it shows

Also! This strawberry boy isn't really important to the story, but I just wanted to share an illustration of him anyway! He shows up later!

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"..." Crowley pinches the bridge of his nose on top of his mask, "......Did you shove a student's head up another student's rectum...?"

You nod guiltily, nervously looking up at the Headmage as you do so. Sitting next to you, Grim frantically nods as well, horror in his eyes.

Defeated, Crowley nods as he writes something down on a red sheet of paper.

"We're-We're going to work on that, [Y/n]," He sounds as done with your bullshit as you are, "Normally, something like this would warrant immediate expulsion, but..."

So obviously you got caught.

The ghost staff had witnessed everything but did nothing to intervene because pretty much everyone who saw what happened all agreed your actions were justified in self-defense.

Pretty privileges, you assume.

You already explained that you claim full responsibility for what happened, and that Grim didn't need to be here. But of course he was going to be involved in your life because why not?

On the bright side of all this...

...

Um-

"Perhaps a taser is in order if we want to avoid extreme measures like this," Crowley says, still writing, "You are extremely lucky that that student didn't tear anything in his-his-um..."

You sigh, "Anal fissures will heal either way. Sure the pain can be severe, but it usually takes about six weeks with treatment for it to heal."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Why do you know something like that?" Grim scooches away from you.

"Ehm-"

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

You three look at the door that was behind you. Crowley calls for them to come in, then the door opens revealing only one familiar face from the two that showed up.

"Oh, hey! You're um, you're Kalim, right?" You smile warmly.

The himbo beams brightly. Oh, he has your bag and camera with him. How sweet!

"Uwahhh! You remembered me from the ceremony!!" Kalim then flinches when he sees Grim next to you, "And that's the weasel who set my rear on fire at orientation!"

"I am NOT a weasel!!"

Kalim shuffles in with a dark haired student behind him. God, there's a lot of beautiful people here. His friend, (at least you're assuming) closes the door behind himself before following Kalim.

"Wait, I-I thought you said I was never going to see you again!" Kalim stops behind your chair.

"Yeah, funny how that works, right?" You shift and turn around in your seat to look at him, "I ended up getting enrolled, anyway. I was sure I was going to be sent back home."

Kalim leans over and gets in your personal space, "Well, now you have to tell me your name!"

"Show some restraint, will you?" His friend pulls him away from you by the back of his shirt before frowning at you, "I apologize about that. Kalim can be a bit eccentric."