Love Candidate | BTS FANFICTION

Love Candidate - The Bad Guy - Chapter 14

Disclaimer:
This chapter contains a mature scene.

The living room was dark, but there was enough light beaming through the glass panel to illuminate the dim villa interior. I carefully walked up to Seokjin and lowered my hand to tap his shoulder but stopped myself right before I touched him when I noticed how peaceful he looked in his sleep. I withdrew my hand away from him and slowly sat down on the floor to stare at his captivating visual with my eager pupils. Appa... if you were alive... would you let me see Seokjin? My life has been a mess ever since you left my side, and I thought my condition would only spiral downhill until I met a man I really have good feelings for. But why am I so afraid? Why am I so terrified of him? Appa... I'm at risk. I really like him, but everything feels like an illusion because he's so... flawless? I've never felt so... safe... around anyone since you left my side... but here I am... admiring him in the darkness with this unexplainable emotion in my chest. Why don't you ask him? Appa's voice suddenly spoke up in my head. Jiyoung... Why don't you ask him instead of making pointless speculations? I stared at Seokjin without blinking as I leaned against the couch to observe his delicate skin in silence.

"Are you asleep?" I whispered without thinking. I didn't expect Seokjin to respond to my question until he opened his eyes to stare at me with a calm gaze. I didn't look away and held eye contact with him even if I was shaken by his awareness.

"What are you doing?" Seokjin questioned, turning on his side to stare at me on the couch when I refused to look away.

"I couldn't sleep because I felt guilty for leaving you here. Your wound is still healing," I muttered, weakly smiling at Seokjin in the dark.

"I don't mind as long as you feel comfortable," Seokjin slightly shook his head with his sleepy eyes fixed on mine.

"Can I ask you a question?" I blinked, tilting my head to the side to smile at him.

"What is it?" Seokjin whispered with his weary yet fond gaze fixed on mine.

"I regret doubting you. But answer me... be honest with me. Is this real? Whatever you're making me feel... Whatever this is between us. Is it real?" I whispered, nervously staring at him. Seokjin didn't answer me and weakly smiled with his head rested against the cushion.

"It is real. Whatever you're feeling... I feel it too. It might be a little too early to say this... but I think I'm falling, and I'd go through hell to be with you," Seokjin replied, making my chest churn in discomfort. Why am I not convinced?

"Why? What do you see in me?" I asked. I really don't understand why... he'd want me by his side.

"Even if I told you... you won't believe me because you can't see it. But I can, but if you want an answer... maybe it's the little things you do for people around you. The lunch box... the umbrella... the food. Your honesty and your effort to make me feel at ease. It's everything about you, and I know you can't see it, and it might seem trivial... but I am like you. We're both selfless, Jiyoung. You and I... we give more than we take. We put others before us even if we're mistreated by them. It's the things we do for love, right? Always placing other people's happiness before our own. I'm tired of it. I'm tired of tearing myself apart to satisfy people who don't even care about me. It's pointless, you know? It's tiring to be a pillar... to endlessly endure the burdensome pressure. They keep leaning on me until I feel like I'm suffocating from the weight," Seokjin muttered.

"But when I'm around you... I feel at ease. I was always the selfless person around my family and friends... but when I'm around you... I realized you're the selfless person. Not me. You put me before yourself, and I can see it. The way you try to put a smile on my face. The way you let me hold you without making me feel like a fool. The way you apologized, even if it wasn't your fault. It's my first time meeting a person like you. Why do I like you so much? It's because I don't have to pretend around you. I don't have to force myself to please you. So I wonder... if you're the right person for me? Someone who constantly makes me feel calm and at peace with myself. I don't get butterflies when I see you... instead... I feel very comfortable and content around you. You mute my noisy mind... soothe my stuffy chest, and help me breathe better. You're just like oxygen. All my life... I felt like I couldn't breathe until we met. I didn't have to worry about a thing because you were always pleased with everything I did for you, even if it was the bare minimum. I promise I can tell you all the reasons until sunrise, but you might fall asleep listening to me. But yeah... I really like you- Are you asleep?" Seokjin questioned, lifting his head to look at me in confusion when I grew hushed. He didn't pause to take a break and kept on speaking to me but finally halted when he realized I was resting my head against the couch with my eyes closed.