summer child // joshler

47

josh's point view

the end of the year is going by much faster than i anticipated. tyler and i have been hanging out more often. he eats lunch with me in the art room now, which has been really nice. he says the team has only asked where he's been a few times and he doesn't really care. he hasn't told anyone else about us, but that's okay.

it's the first day of spring break now and we're sitting on his roof together.

we watch the clouds move above us and the cars move below. tyler was right, it is kind of like our own little world. there's no worries up here, every ounce of negativity or sadness floating up to be held in the sky for us. we're protected by the sun and cared for by the moon.

we've been up here for awhile, talking about everything and nothing. our only plans for the break are to be lazy together. neither of us have brought it up, but school will be ending soon. then we'll have one more summer together before... i don't know what.

i'm still waiting to hear back from centerstone and the few other schools i applied to. i'm not sure if tyler has applied anywhere. he said he was going to apply to centerstone too, but that doesnt mean he really did. i try to let go of those thoughts for now, try to let the wind carry them away.

there's music playing softly from his phone and his head is on my chest.

"are you hungry yet?" i ask, breaking the quiet that had settled between us.

"kinda, yeah. what were you thinking?" he sits up, stretching his arms over his head.

"pancakes." i sit up with him and look over at his face, the golden hour sun washing over him.

"pancakes it is."

we climb off of the roof and then head inside my house. my mom is actually out with tyler's mom, so we have the place to ourselves.

tyler hops up to sit on the counter while i get together the ingredients i need.

"i like when you cook for me," he says.

"yeah? i like to think i'm an okay chef." i smile over at him and preheat the griddle.

"mhm. i think you look cute while you do it too." he blushes a little. "i like watching you all focused."

"sounds kinda stalker-y, ty. you should work on your compliments," i tease, setting the mixing bowl down. i walk over and come stand between his legs. "thank you though."

he brings his hands to my shoulders and then down to my upper arm. "i'm just not really used to it," he mumbles. "i've never looked at anyone the way i look at you."

i feel my heartbeat quicken just a bit as his eyes study me. "and how is that?"

"like there's nothing else in the world i'd rather see." he lets one hand reside on my chest now while the other comes up to play with my hair. "never touched anyone the way i touch you either. every single movement, every inch of you is my favorite."

"oh," is all i can bring myself to say, my words lost on tongue.

he leans forward then, kissing me slowly. his hand that's in my hair begins to pull gently at the strands, testing the waters. i let out a quiet sound that i tried very hard to keep in and feel my cheeks heat, surely bright red now. he tugs a little harder and i let my hands come to his thighs.

the griddle beeps, signifying that it's done warming and effectively ending our kiss. i pull away, slightly breathless and definitely at least a little hard.

he is going to kill me one day.

"sorry." he giggles a little, the sound erupting a swarm of butterflies in my stomach.

"what on earth are you apologizing for?" i measure out the ingredients and pour them into the bowl.

"i guess... i dunno," he shrugs, his eyes staying glued to me as i mix.

"exactly. don't apologize for complimenting me, t." i pause to look at him. "or kissing me. i enjoy both."

"noted."

-

all i can think about in bed that night is the future. i stare up at the ceiling, my mind racing over the possibilities.

"j, you alright up there?" tyler asks. he's laying on his side, facing towards me.

"i just can't stop thinking." i sigh, turning over to face him as well.

"about what?" he raises one hand to cup my cheek, brushing his thumb over my cheekbone.

"what if i don't get in?" my voice is barely above a whisper.

"josh, you're the smartest, most responsible, most caring, funniest person i've ever met. you're patient, creative, giving, loving. you're an amazing friend, partner, and son. they would be absolutely stupid not to accept you." he gives me a soft smile, all cotton candy lips and his fluffy, chestnut hair falling over his forehead.

"but those are your opinions," i counter. as nice as it feels to hear him say these things, i don't think they mean much in the academic world.

"nope. they're fact." he leans forward and kisses me once. "it'll be okay, josh. i promise."

and i believe him.

(an: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S ALMOST OVER WAHHH)