summer child // joshler

5

tyler's point of view

"tyler, sweetie, are you ready to go?" mom knocks on my door and then steps back with a small smile when i open it.

"yep," i deadpan.

i don't want to go next door at all, but i know it makes my mother feel better and i hate to see (and hear) her cry. she's handling it a lot worse than i am, which is expected. none of it is her fault and i don't blame her for how she's reacting. that doesn't mean it isn't hard to witness.

my dad is officially moved out and the house is eerily silent as we exit. no football game playing on tv, no chip bags crinkling, no loud snoring coming from the living room.

"please, hun, try to be kind. miss laura is being a great help to me right now and you and josh used to be best friends. just because you're upset doesn't mean you have to be so snippy," mom sighs as she locks up.

i remain silent as we walk across the yard to josh's house. this is stupid.

i take my phone out to pretend to be doing something while my mom knocks on their door. it's half past five in the evening, meaning the sun hasn't even set yet. who knows how long i'll be expected to be here. it's not like josh wants me here anyway, i should be exempt from these meetings. he's only being nice to me because his mother is making him, i'm sure of it.

"hi, tyler," miss laura reaches out and squeezes my shoulder, "josh is in his room. make yourself at home."

i nod and walk as slowly as possible to josh's room and knock on the door. this feels... weird.

josh opens it and cocks his head to the side. "tyler? hey. uh, come in," he steps aside to let me inside the room and then closes the door behind me. "what, um... whatcha doin' here?"

"your mom didn't tell you we were coming?" my voice is monotone.

"ah, no. that's okay though. i wasn't doing anything," he takes a seat on his bed. "so, what's up?"

"nothing," i sit down at his desk and pick at my nails, avoiding eye contact.

"okay... well, are you hungry or anything?" he offers.

"nope."

josh takes a breath and then speaks again. "alright, dude, come on. what is your deal today?"

"nothing. don't worry about it."

"come on. i know it's been awhile since we've really talked or hung out, but i think i know you at least enough to tell you're obviously upset."

"we haven't been friends for several years now. who says you still know me?" i shrug and still don't let my eyes look up from the floor.

"i think i do though, tyler, because you're rubbing the inside of your wrist with your thumb. you've always done that when something's wrong," his voice is gentler now and this gets me to look up at him.

i hadn't even noticed i was doing that. how does he remember such a small tell?

"why do you care? you're only doing this because your mom is making you," i speak softly, hating how weak my voice sounds. this is humiliating.

"tyler," he pauses and runs a hand down his face, "no one is forcing me to do this. your mom may make you come here and my mom may make me let you in my room, but neither of them are sitting here telling us to play nice. i'm doing this part because i want to and even if i didn't, this is going to be a long fucking summer if you act like an ass one day and pretend everything is fine the next."

oh. i'm not even sure how to respond to that. maybe i was overreacting... which is even more embarrassing to admit - even to myself.

"alright, fine. you're right. i'm sorry. i've just got a lot going on and i don't really want to talk about it right now," i sit up a little straighter and hold my hand out, "truce?"

"truce."

"so anyway," i drop my hand and suggest an activity i know for a fact is taking place tonight, "wanna go to a party then?"

"what?" he looks at me with his mouth slightly open before shaking his head. "dude, you are gonna give me whiplash."

"okay... so, party?"

"you want me to go to a party with you? are you serious? you're not gonna be embarrassed to be seen with me or something?"

i scoff, "even if i cared what anyone said, they're all gonna be drunk anyway."

"drinking? who's gonna drive? i don't have a car, and i don't drink. i don't think any of this is a good idea," he rambles a bit.

i was well aware he'd never been to a real party when i suggested it, but i plan on getting absolutely wasted tonight, whether we're gonna go through with this friendship truce or not.

"look, you have your license, yeah?" i pause and he nods. "you don't have to drink. you can drive us both back. we can just come back here and i can just stay the night after."

"so i'm going to be your babysitter."

"no, you're going to be my friend."

"fine."

(an: partay time)